"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."
Dr. Leo Buscaglia
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A Note in My Mailbox
By Ron Wenn and Nancy J. Cavanaugh


The note I picked up from my mailbox at school read, "Call Margaret at 555-6167." Both the name and number were unfamiliar to me, but as a high-school automotive instructor, I got calls all the time from people who were looking for someone to fix their cars. During my lunchtime at school that day, I dialed the number.
"I'm calling for a Margaret," I said.
"Yes, this is Margaret," a voice answered.
"This is Ron Wenn. I have a message here that says to call you," I continued, all the while wondering what kind of car trouble this woman had.
"Oh, I'm glad you called. If you'll just give me a few minutes of your time, I have something to tell you that I think you'll be interested in hearing."
"All right," I answered looking at the clock. I only had a few minutes before I needed to be back in class.
"I'm a nurse at St. Luke's Presbyterian Hospital, and yesterday on my way home from work I was driving down 290 when my car started acting up."
"Uh huh," I said looking at the clock again.
"It was late at night, and I was alone. I was so afraid to pull over, but finally my car just quit, so I coasted to the shoulder. I sat there for a few minutes wondering what to do."
I didn't want to sound impatient, but I really needed to get back to class. "Would you like me to take a look at your car, ma'am?" I asked.
"Just let me finish," the woman answered.
I tapped my pencil on the stack of papers in front of me as Margaret continued her story. "Suddenly, two young guys, about twenty years old, pulled up behind me and got out. I didn't know what these guys were going to do. I was so scared.
"They asked me what happened, and they said that from the sound of things that they might be able to get the car running again, so I popped the hood.
"I sat in the car praying that these guys weren't up to no good. A few minutes later, they yelled at me to try to start the car. I couldn't believe it! It started right up! The guys slammed the hood and told me the car would be fine but that I should take it somewhere soon and get it checked out."
"And you'd like me to take a look at it and make sure everything's okay, right?" I asked.
"No, not at all, just listen," the woman went on. "I was so grateful. I thanked them over and over and offered them money, but they wouldn't take it. That's when they told me they were former students of yours."
"What?" I asked in surprise. "Students of mine? Who were they?"
"They wouldn't tell me. They just gave me your name and the school's number and made me promise to call to thank you."
I couldn't believe it. I didn't know what to say. Besides teaching my students about fixing cars, I always tried to teach them things about life - about going the extra mile, being honest and using what you know to help other people. The thing is I never really knew if the students learned any of this.
"Mr. Wenn, are you still there?" Margaret asked.
"I'm still here," I answered.
"Well, I hope you know how grateful I am," Margaret said.
"I hope you know how grateful I am to you, Margaret. Thanks for calling," I said and hung up the phone.
I walked back to class feeling inspired with the knowledge that my students had helped someone because of what I taught them in my classroom. I had just gotten the greatest reward a teacher could ever get.
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"There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it."
Edith Wharton
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Choice of feelings

You create your feelings and you are responsible for them. By controlling those feelings in a positive and purposeful way, you can profoundly change your life for the better. If you blame another person for your feelings, what you're really doing is giving that person control over an important part of your life. If you avoid taking responsibility for your feelings, those feelings can quickly overwhelm you and leave you powerless.

The way you feel can affect every corner of your life. By taking positive control of your feelings, you put yourself in a powerful and influential position in your world.

Keep in mind that every feeling you experience is a feeling you have chosen. Though much of what comes your way is beyond your control, the way you feel about it all is completely up to you.

If your life seems to be stuck, that's a sure sign that you're holding on to feelings that are no longer appropriate. Know that you can let those feelings go and be gloriously free to move quickly ahead.

Feelings are powerful and can bring much richness to life, and the power they have is the power you choose to give them. Choose your feelings wisely, and life will be rich indeed.

Ralph Marston
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"You will regret many things in life but you will never regret being too kind or too fair."
Brian Tracy

"Most people are too busy living life to ever put life in their living..."
Doug Firebaugh
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THE FINANCIAL EQUATION THAT WILL SET YOU FREE!
by Chris Widener

I have a good friend who works in an area of the US that has more than its share of poverty. He called me the other day with a very broken heart. He was feeling badly for the people around him who simply do not allow themselves to get set free financially. I could feel the pain he was feeling because I too, very often wonder why it is that some people experience financial independence and others do not. It really is a mystery.

But how to get financial independence is not a mystery!

Rather, financial independence is a very simple thing. Truly! It is hard work and takes time, but the process is very simple! In fact, financial independence can come from following a very simple plan. All of the books on financial independence can ultimately be boiled down to this basic equation. It is an equation that is as simple as it gets. In fact, it isn't even a multiplication problem, it is an addition equation! And we all learned addition in the first grade! Just as 1 + 1 = 2, so does this POWERFUL yet SIMPLE equation add up to your financial independence!

What is this equation? Get ready, your life is about to change forever if you will allow yourself to understand and live by the simplicity of this equation. Here it is:

Smart Decisions + Good Math = Financial Independence

Let's break it down and take a closer look. First the Smart Decisions, then the Good Math.

Smart Decisions:

Go to college. Get educated. I know that somebody will say, "Yeah but most of the people on the Forbes 400 never went past high school." Well so did most of the people on the welfare line! Most people aren't Bill Gates or Sam Walton. Most people who earn between $100,000-$150,000 a year are college graduates. "But I'm forty! I can't go to college." Yes you can. You will be 44 when you get out and have 21 years of a much better income. The fact is that most good jobs and careers go to those who have educated themselves. It is still the surest way to a long-term large income. Still don't want to go to college? See the last item under smart decisions.

Get better training. At the very least go get some training in your specific area of expertise. The promotions will go to those who are the best trained, so become the best trained! Take a course, even if your employer won't pay for it, because eventually they WILL pay you for it!

Work hard. I have found that the many hundreds of high achievers who I know personally who have become and are becoming financially independent are hard workers. Every one of them works long hours. They sacrifice for the security they are shooting for and have attained. I know, we all get emails that say, "Financial Independence in 10 hours a week." Let me ask you, do you know anybody like that? I don't. No one. Even the success stories you here in the get rich quick industries show you that they worked HARD!

Develop yourself. Become a better person. Better people get better jobs and get paid better dollars! Make sure that every day you are becoming a person who is on the growth track, raising yourself to a higher and higher level with each and every passing day! Eventually your development will catch up with you and your income will soar!

Stay out of debt. This is the smartest decision you will ever make. NO Debt! You know what? I have ONE bill I have to pay every month. That is my mortgage. But that's a debt! Well, without getting into an argument, I consider it a forced investment with the added benefit of providing me and my family with shelter! I do not consider a mortgage a debt. I mean car debt, stereo debt, and consumer debt of all kinds. It is possible. It can be done. And it will provide you with financial freedom!

Own your own business if you can. So you don't want to go to college. Okay. Or maybe you did go to college and you just want to make sure that you make as much as you can. Well, the smart decision is to own your own business. Most millionaires in America are the people who own their own businesses. It will take a lot of risk, a lot of hard work, and many ups and downs, but owning your business gives you the opportunity to accumulate great wealth, because the profit is all yours. There are plenty of opportunities to own your own business and I would encourage you to strongly consider the alternative for many reasons, of the best of which is the opportunity to achieve financial independence.

Good Math:

Spend less than you earn. One plus one equals two. We learn that very early on. Eventually, we learn negatives and we learn that one minus two equals negative one. Simple right? Yet many people live their lives in such a way that they spend more than their income and destroy their opportunity for long-term financial independence. There are two things you can do to make this "good math" work for you. You can increase your income so that it outpaces your spending, or you can decrease your spending. You increase your income by making the smart decisions listed above. You decrease your spending by making hard choices. One of these must be done if you are going to achieve the kind of long-term financial independence you desire.

Put money away into investment vehicles on a regular basis. If you are going to achieve financial independence, you will have to put away money regularly. This is the math principle of addition. Don't laugh: most people don't get this. Or if they do, they don't practice it! Whether it is every paycheck, or the first of the month, or quarterly, or however you can do it - DO IT! When you hit 65 years of age, you will be glad you did. And if you put away enough and into the right investments, you may just be thankful a lot sooner than that!

Let your interest accrue. This is compounding and it is powerful! If you earn twelve percent on your money every year, do you know how soon it will be until you have twice as much as you started with? At first thought you may assume that it is one hundred divided by twelve, or eight and a third years. Not true. There is an investment rule that is called the rule of 72. That is, divide 72 by what average interest you make and that is how many years it takes to double your money. In this case, at twelve percent, your money doubles every six years! This works because you earn twelve percent on not only the original amount but the interest you earned as well. Start with $100 and the next year you have $112. If you take the $12 out then you will only make twelve percent on $100 again. If you let it accrue, you will make twelve percent on $112. This will cut almost two years off of the time it takes to double!

Where the real power comes in is over longer periods of time. Let's say grandma dies and leaves you $25,000 when you are eighteen. You can do any number of things with that money.

1. Buy a snazzy car. Not a good idea, though most eighteen year-olds would do just this.

2. Invest the money and take out the interest every year. This is nice. It throws you $3000 every year and over forty-two years you make $126,000 for doing nothing and you still have $25,000!

3. Here is the real deal! You leave the money alone for forty-two years at twelve percent (about the long-term average for the stock market). At the end of that time you decide to retire and go to the investment summary to see how much you have. What do you find? You find that your money doubled seven times and that leaves you with 3.2 million dollars! Can you retire on that? You bet you can.

You can achieve financial independence. You can live the life you have always dreamed of. You can have a life where you have enough at all times, especially in the end. It is possible. You just have to make smart decisions and use good math!

As a refresher, here they are again:

Smart decisions:

Go to college. Get better training. Work hard. Develop yourself. Stay out of debt. Own your own business if you can.

Good math:

Spend less than you earn. Put money away into investment vehicles on a regular basis. Let your interest accrue.
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"Sophistication and lifestyle is understanding the difference between trinkets and treasures."
Jim Rohn
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McDonald's
By Shelly Miller


Most of my friends are what society would call "punks." We are the teenagers who hang out at the coffee shops or the movies for lack of anything better to do. But being punks doesn't mean much.
One evening, after a day of not doing much, we were sitting in McDonald's when a guy in our group whom I had just met that day walked in. Brian was the typical punk teenager, dressed in black with the dyed hair. Right before he stepped inside, he yelled something outside to a man walking down the street. I just hoped he wasn't trying to start trouble. He sat down and a minute later, a burly homeless man stuck his head in and looked at Brian.
"Did you say something to me?" the man demanded, and I thought I saw a mean glint in his eyes. I shrank back, thinking that if Brian had tried to pick a fight, this was the wrong guy to do it with. I had seen too many people and places kick teenagers like us out for pulling stuff.
While the rest of us were looking for a place to back into, Brian got up and walked up to him. "Yeah . . . would you like something to eat?"
The relief was almost audible, and the man smiled and walked in.
After a large meal of hamburgers, fries and dessert, the man left, and even the staff waved good-bye to him. When we asked Brian about it, he explained how he had money that he didn't need and the man had none, so it was only right.
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"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."
Abraham Lincoln

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live. Remember that."
from The Harry Potter Movie
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"I Couldn't Justify..."

One question I'm often asked is, "How does one I turn down an offer when it isn't acceptable and, still not offend the person, closing down further dialogue?"

I always consider that to be a great question because it shows a desire to treat people right. It also shows understanding that the best way to get what you want is to make the other person feel good about themselves, as well as about you.

Have you ever witnessed a person saying, "That's my final offer - take it or leave it!"? If that's happened to you, did you "leave it" even if it was a decent offer? People do that because no one wants to be treated unkindly. Let's face it, the ego elicits the making of emotional decisions and, if insulted, people will often make decisions that aren't good for them.

And, even if they are in a position where they must accept now, they'll be tempted to somehow sabotage the arrangement and/or do what they can in the future to make life difficult for that person.

Some people, when refusing an offer, respond in a similar fashion. They might say, "There's no way I'll accept that. You
*must* give me 'such and such' or I'm walking." This then puts the other person in a situation where, if they agree, they have just "backed down" or "submitted."

On the other hand, we can very pleasantly turn down an offer while allowing that person to "save face" and still understand they need to come back with a better offer. For example:

Steve: This is the price for the widget, and delivery will be in two weeks.

You: Thank you Steve. I appreciate the offer. Unfortunately, at that price and the long delivery time, "I couldn't justify" making the purchase. But I DO appreciate the offer.

You've very kindly, politely and respectfully (which, in his mind, has just separated you positively from many others) said no, while leaving his self-esteem totally intact. People like Steve WANT to do business with people like you. Now, say nothing and see if Steve comes back with another offer or asks you what price/delivery time you were thinking. If, after a few seconds, he says nothing (and assuming you really want the widget enough to pursue this), simply say: "Steve, what can you offer that would help me to justify the decision to buy?"

He'll either come back with something better, or he won't. There's no guarantee he will. (Sometimes, it's a condition, not a choice, meaning that he has no room to negotiate further.) The choice will then be yours. However, what I CAN guarantee is that if you'll proceed with the "I couldn't justify..." response as opposed to a simple (or less than nice) "no", the odds of him going out of his way to make you happy will increase dramatically.

Bob Burg
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"The amount of satisfaction you get from life depends largely on your own ingenuity, self-sufficiency, and resourcefulness. People who wait around for life to supply their satisfaction usually find boredom instead."
Dr. William Menninger
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Something to Make Me Happy
By Sharon Palmer


I was doing some last-minute Christmas shopping in a toy store and decided to look at Barbie dolls for my nieces.
A nicely dressed little girl was excitedly looking through the Barbie dolls as well, with a roll of money clamped tightly in her little hand.
When she came upon a Barbie she liked, she would turn and ask her father if she had enough money to buy it. He usually said "yes," but she would keep looking and keep going through their ritual of "Do I have enough?"
As she was looking, a little boy wandered in across the aisle and started sorting through the Pokémon toys.
He was dressed neatly, but in clothes that were obviously rather worn, and wearing a jacket that was probably a couple of sizes too small. He, too, had money in his hand, but it looked to be no more than five dollars or so, at the most.
He was with his father as well, and kept picking up the Pokémon video games. Each time he picked one up and looked at his father, his father shook his head, "no."
The little girl had apparently chosen her Barbie, a beautifully dressed, glamorous doll that would have been the envy of every little girl on the block.
However, she had stopped and was watching the interchange between the little boy and his father. Rather dejectedly, the boy had given up on the video games and had chosen what looked like a book of stickers instead. He and his father then started walking through another aisle of the store.
The little girl put her Barbie back on the shelf, and ran over to the Pokémon games. She excitedly picked up one that was lying on top of the other toys, and raced toward the check-out, after speaking with her father.
I picked up my purchases and got in line behind them.
Then, much to the little girl's obvious delight, the little boy and his father got in line behind me.
After the toy was paid for and bagged, the little girl handed it back to the cashier and whispered something in her ear. The cashier smiled and put the package under the counter.
I paid for my purchases and was rearranging things in my purse when the little boy came up to the cashier. The cashier rang up his purchases and then said, "Congratulations, you are my hundredth customer today, and you win a prize!"
With that, she handed the little boy the Pokémon game, and he could only stare in disbelief.
It was, he said, exactly what he had wanted!
The little girl and her father had been standing at the doorway during all of this, and I saw the biggest, prettiest grin on that little girl that I have ever seen in my life. Then they walked out the door, and I followed, close behind them.
As I walked back to my car, in amazement over what I had just witnessed, I heard the father ask his daughter why she had done that. I'll never forget what she said to him.
"Daddy, didn't Nana and Paw Paw want me to buy something that would make me happy?"
He said, "Of course they did, Honey."
To which the little girl replied, "Well, I just did!"
With that, she giggled and started skipping toward their car. Apparently, she had decided on the answer to her own question of, "Do I have enough?"
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"I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing."
Agatha Christie

How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these.
George Washington Carver
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A Typical Day
By Brian Totzke


As a high-school teacher, I have understandably become concerned not just about the future of our profession but the public perception of it as well. I decided recently, therefore, to take advantage of the so-called "spare" time that I have in my work day to take a leisurely stroll around the building and see for myself just what goes on outside my own classroom.
The first door I passed was that of a math teacher who was providing individual attention to a student who was quite obviously having some difficulty. The student's face said it all: frustration, confusion, quiet desperation. The teacher remained upbeat, offering support and encouragement.
"Let's try again, but we'll look at it from a slightly different point of view," she said and proceeded to erase the chalkboard in search of a better solution.
Further down the hall, I came across the doorway of one of our history teachers. As I paused to eavesdrop, I witnessed a large semicircle of enthusiastic students engaged in a lively debate regarding current Canadian events and issues. The teacher chose to take somewhat of a back-seat role, entering the fray only occasionally to pose a rhetorical question or to gently steer the conversation back toward the task at hand. They switched to role-playing and smaller groups of students chose to express the viewpoints of various provinces. The debate grew louder and more intense. The teacher smiled and stepped in to referee.
Passing the gym balcony, I looked down to see a physical education teacher working with a group of boys on a basketball passing drill.
"Pass and cut away!" he shouted. "Set a screen. Hit the open man."
Suddenly, there was a break in the action.
"Hold on, guys," he said. "Do you guys really understand why we're doing this drill?"
A mixture of blank stares and shrugged shoulders provided the answer, so he proceeded to take a deep breath and explain not only the purpose of the drill, but exactly how it fit into the grand scheme of offense and team play. A few nods of understanding and the group returned to its task with renewed vigor.
The next stop on my journey was the open door of a science lab where, again, a flurry of activity was taking place. I watched intently as a group of four students explained and demonstrated the nature and design of a scientific invention they had created. As they took turns regaling their small but attentive audience about the unique features of their project, a teacher was nearby, busy videotaping their entire presentation.
As I was leaving, I heard her say, "Okay, let's move the television over here and see how you did."
Finally, on the way back to my room, I couldn't help but investigate the low roar coming from down the hall. Music blaring, feet stomping, instructions straining to be heard above the din. Dancers of every shape and size were moving in seemingly random directions, although their various destinations were obviously quite well-rehearsed. Good things were happening here: hard work, sweat, intense concentration. And then, a mistake. One of the dancers offered an explanation, which led to a discussion among several of them. The dance teacher intervened and facilitated a resolution. A half-hearted plea by one of the students for a quick break fell on deaf ears.
"We'll have our break when we get this part right," she called out. A brief pep talk imploring them to push themselves just a little further seemed to create some new energy, and once again the place was hopping. "Now, from the top . . ."
My excursion complete, I returned to my corner of the school and reflected on what I had observed. Nothing surprising really. It was essentially what I had expected to find: goal-setting, problem-solving, teamwork, critical analysis, debate, discussion. In short, learning.
The only thing that you may have found surprising, but I didn't, was that when I began my journey, the regular school day had already ended an hour before.
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The ideas that have lighted my way have been kindness, beauty and truth.
Albert Einstein
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OVERCOMING SELF-LIMITING BELIEFS
by Brian Tracy


The worst beliefs you can have are "Self limiting beliefs." These exist whenever you believe yourself to be limited in some way. For example, you may think yourself to be less talented or capable than others. You may think that others are superior to you in some way. You may have fallen into the common trap of selling yourself short and settling for far less than you are truly capable of.

These self-limiting beliefs act like brakes on your potential. They hold you back. They generate the two greatest enemies of personal success - doubt and fear. They paralyze you and cause you to hesitate to take the intelligent risks that are necessary for you to fulfill your true potential.

For you to progress, to move onward and upward in your life and your business, you must continually challenge your self-limiting beliefs. You must reject any thought or suggestion that you are limited in any way. You must accept as a basic principle that you are a 'no-limit' person, and that what others have done, you can do as well.

When I was a young man, coming from a difficult upbringing, I fell into the mental trap of concluding that because other people were doing better than I was, they must be better or smarter than I was. I accidentally concluded that they were worth more than I was. I must therefore be worth less. This false belief held me back for years.

The fact is that no one is better than you are and no one is smarter than you are. If they are doing better, it is largely because they have developed their natural talents and abilities more than you have. They have learned the laws of cause and effect that apply to their lives and work before you have. And anything anyone else has done, within reason, you can probably do as well. You just need to learn how.
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The best portion of a good man's life: his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love.
William Wordsworth

"Integrity is non-situational; you're the same person 24 hours a day, 7 days a week."
Denis Waitley
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The Practice of Rejoicing
The next time you're feeling down or withdrawn, see what happens when you turn your attention to the good fortunes of others.
By Pema Chodron

Over twelve centuries ago, the Indian sage Shantideva composed "The Way of the Bodhisattva." This classic text gives surprisingly up-to-date instructions for people like you and me to live sanely and open-heartedly, even in a very troubled world. It is the essential guidebook for fledgling bodhisattvas, those spiritual warriors who long to alleviate suffering—their own and that of others.

In "The Way of the Bodhisattva," Shantideva explains how we can connect with the very best of ourselves and help others to do the same. One powerful method he describes is rejoicing. Rejoicing in the good fortune of others is a practice that can help us when we feel emotionally shut down and unable to connect with others. Rejoicing generates good will. The next time you go out in the world, you might try this practice: directing your attention to people—in their cars, on the sidewalk, talking on their cell phones—just wish for them all to be happy and well. Without knowing anything about them, they can become very real, by regarding each of them personally and rejoicing in the comforts and pleasures that come their way. Each of us has this soft spot: a capacity for love and tenderness. But if we don't encourage it, we can get pretty stubborn about remaining sour.

I have a friend who, when he begins getting depressed and withdrawn, goes to a nearby park and does this practice for everyone who walks by. He finds this pulls him out of the slump before it’s too late. The tricky part is getting out of the house, instead of giving in to the seduction of gloom.

When you begin the practice of rejoicing in others' good fortune, you can expect to encounter your soft spot—as well as your competitiveness and envy. Sitting on a park bench feeling warmth for strangers is relatively easy to do; but when good fortune comes to those we know better, especially those we dislike, it can give us an up-close look at our jealousy.

This has certainly been the case for me. Until I began to practice rejoicing, I wasn't aware of how much envy I had. I remember hearing that a colleague's book was rapidly becoming a best seller, and being pained that my first reaction was resentment. Likewise, when I practice generosity, I see my holding back more vividly than ever before. By practicing patience my anger is harder to deny. For someone on the spiritual path, seeing this can be embarrassing.

Who would have thought that the practice of rejoicing would be a setup for seeing our neurosis? Our usual response would be to feel that we’ve blown it; but for aspiring bodhisattvas this isn’t the case. Because our intention is to wake up so we can help others do the same, we rejoice as much in seeing where we’re stuck as we rejoice in our loving kindness.

This is the only way for true compassion to emerge: this is our opportunity to understand what others are up against. Like us, they aspire to open up, only to see themselves close down; like us, they have the capacity for joy, and out of ignorance they block it. For their sake and ours, we can let the story lines go and stay present with an open heart—and rejoice that we're even interested in such a fresh alternative.
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"The most important persuasion tool you have in your entire arsenal is integrity."
Zig Ziglar
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Grandma's Soup Night
By Joan Cinelli


It had been a busier than usual week, and trying to cope with a stiff neck had made it worse. By Thursday afternoon I had used up my supply of energy and patience. All I wanted to do was to get home, put on a comfortable robe, fix a bowl of good hot soup and collapse with my feet up.
So when I pulled into the driveway and saw my daughter-in-law Wanda's car, I groaned in despair. I had forgotten it was Bryan's night.
Since his parents' separation, I had tried to have my six-year-old grandson spend a few hours with me at least once a week. I always tried to make it a special time for him. We cooked his favorite meal - chicken and cranberry sauce - or went to his favorite hamburger place. Then either a movie or a walk through the park, and home for some fun together. We'd get down on the floor and have car races. Sometimes we'd make candy, or maybe read some silly or scary book. Bryan delighted in all these activities, and so did I. Usually.
Tonight there was no way I could handle it. I was going to have to postpone our evening together until next week. I hugged them both and then explained how badly I was feeling.
"Bryan, honey, I'm sorry," I said. "Tonight your Grandma Joan isn't up to any fun and games. Just a nice hot bowl of soup, a lazy hour of TV and then early to bed. We'll have our night together some other time."
Bryan's smile faded, and I saw the disappointment in his eyes. "Dear Lord, forgive me," I prayed, "but I'm really not up to it tonight. I need this night to relax and renew myself."
Bryan was looking up at me solemnly. "I like soup, Grandma."
My grandmother's heart knew what he was really saying. In his own way, he was saying, "Please don't send me away. Please let me stay."
I heard Wanda say, "No, Bryan. Grandma Joan's too tired tonight. Maybe next week."
But in Bryan's eyes, I saw the shadow, the uncertainty. Something else was changing. Maybe Grandma Joan wouldn't want to have him come anymore. Not tonight, not next week, not ever.
I hesitated and then tried again. "Just soup and TV, Bryan. No car games on the floor for me tonight, no baking cookies, no books. I probably won't be awake very long."
"I like soup," he repeated.
With a sigh of resignation, I gave in and placed my hand on his shoulder. "Then you are cordially invited to dine at my castle. The meal will be small, but the company will be delightful. Escort the Queen Mother in, please, Sir Bryan."
It was worth it to see his eyes light up and hear him giggle as he made a mock bow and replied, "Okay, your Royal Highness."
While I put the soup on the stove and changed into my robe, Bryan set up trays and turned on the television set.
I must have dozed off after the first few sips of soup. When I woke up, there was an afghan over my legs, the bowls and trays were gone. Bryan was sprawled on the floor, dividing his attention between a coloring book and a television show. I looked at my watch. Nine o'clock. Wanda would be coming to get Bryan soon. Poor boy, what a dull time he must have had.
Bryan looked up with a smile. Then, to my surprise, he ran over and gave me a big hug. "I love you, Grandma," he said, his arms still around my neck. "Haven't we had a nice time together?"
His big smile and happy eyes told me that this time he meant exactly what he was saying. And, to my surprise, I knew he was right. We really had had a nice time together.
That was the key word - together. We had done nothing exciting or special. I had slept in the chair. Bryan had colored and watched TV. But we were together.
That night I realized something important. Bryan's visits don't have to be a marathon of activity. The important thing is that he knows I love him and want him. He knows he has a place in my life, which is reserved particularly for him. A time that is just for us to be together.
Bryan still comes once a week. We still bake chicken or eat out, make cookies or go for a walk in the park. But every now and then we enjoy our favorite together time, our special feast of love - soup night.
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"A "NO" uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a "YES" merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble."
Mahatma Gandhi

"Surround yourself with people most like the person you want to become. Stay away from anyone who can or will bring you down."
Tom Hopkins
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Begin Again
When people facing difficult life challenges ask me for advice, I have two simple words for them.
By Bob Perks

To begin again means that you won't give up. To begin again means you're trying. You can either start over and live your life Or spend the rest of your life slowly dying.

It is never the falling that makes us fail. It is never the pain or the crying. You can never fail in life, my friend, Unless you give up trying.

It seems lately that more and more of my friends are facing some seemingly insurmountable challenges in their lives. A few have lost their jobs and some have failed marriages. All too many have health issues or are battling cancer. I don't know if it is desperation that causes them to turn to me for advice or whether they have come to value our friendship. But it is difficult, to say the least, to offer words of hope when all they feel is hopeless. They expect answers, some magic waving of a wand, or a roadmap to get them back on their feet again.

I have often struggled with what to say. Mostly because I have faced many of the same challenges in my own life, I remember how empty I felt after someone cheerfully offered words like, "Keep your chin up!" "Things will get better!" "Hang in there!" "It's always darkest...," etc.

Yes, even those who were quick to quote the Bible to me found me quite unreceptive at the time.

Now, as an inspiration writer, being thought of as a resource of hope or a good (or bad) example of what to do in life, I have even more people contacting me.

So, what do I say?

"What can I do, Bob? I've lost my job. What do you suggest?"

"Begin again."

"He walked out on me. My whole world just ended. What should I do?"

"Begin again."

"Bob, I know both your son and your wife had cancer. I found out my wife does, too. What did you tell them?"

"Begin again."

It almost sounds too simple. I imagine in the darkest hours of one's life, those words would seem useless or uncaring. But it is indeed the answer.

All life challenges bring about an ending--and the chance for a beginning. A job loss presents an opportunity to start over somewhere else and maybe even in another career.

A failed marriage does not mean you are through loving or being loved. It means there are others just like you needing to be loved. Find them.

A life-threatening disease does not mean giving up. It means starting a new path to recovery and discovering within yourself the ability to fight back and win.

And if you are a person of faith, even death does not mean it's over. It means “to begin again.”
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"The truly successful person inspires others to do more than they have thought possible for themselves."
Denis Waitley
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YOU GET A COOKIE!
by Bob Burg


Today's article may seem like a more appropriate fit for a "Sales Tip", but I don't think so. As usual, success principles that work in one area of life will transfer very smoothly and easily to another. So, in reading the following, ask yourself how this wonderful lesson in customer service can be applied to WINNING WITHOUT INTIMIDATION in all areas of your life.

In my hometown of Jupiter, Florida, there is an extremely successful "Subway" sandwich franchise, owned and run by Trudy Harvey. She and her team are always friendly, eager to please, and keep the store as clean as a whistle. Like any well- run, successful enterprise, they make their customers feel very, very welcome.

They also know how to problem-solve. Recently, when I went there to order lunch, they were in the middle of a "slamming." Someone surprisingly called in to order a humongous party platter and they were caught shorthanded. Trudy and her staff were caught shorthanded big-time!

Customers were in line, waiting and waiting. Had I any experience in the food service business (other than eating said food as often as possible) I'd have offered to help but, alas, that was not an option.

Here are two steps that Trudy took that impressed me. And, any of us can utilize the same principles in our own unique situations.

#1 Every few minutes she apologized sincerely and expressed how it must "feel" for us to have to wait in line. This showed us that she respected our time and "understood" how we felt.

Not surprisingly, we all assured her it was quite okay and to take her time. (Key point: When you suspect someone might have negative or uncomfortable feelings, sincerely acknowledge them, and let them know that you understand how they must feel. If you'll do that, they'll then usually assure you its okay. The principle involved is that, "generally speaking, more than anything, people just want their feelings to be acknowledged.")

#2 She announced, "Everyone gets a free cookie of their choice. We appreciate your patience so much." More than getting something for free, what was so appreciated was that she was acknowledging the situation, and demonstrating to us that she cared enough to make it right. (Key point: Same as the one in the previous paragraph. The cookie was a nice thought, and certainly appreciated, but her caring and understanding attitude was what made the difference.)

This is just one example of how we can take a "seemingly" negative situation for which there does not seem to be any options, and turn it into a positive "wow" experience for the "customer." Of course, in this case, when I say "customer", I'm talking about ANYONE and EVERYONE with whom we need to communicate.

How can this example be applied when dealing with your friends, with everyday difficult people, with your co-workers, your customers and especially...those people you love and whom it is most important to make happy?

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"I have learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but they will never forget how 'You' made them Feel"
Maya Angelou

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"Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity."
George S. Patton
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The Life Raft We Cannot See An injured man stranded in the wilderness finds help where he least expected it.
By David Pippenger

This is a true story...

Albeit, the short version.

A man found himself floating down the rapids in a river at the bottom of a canyon, miles from anywhere, in the middle of a wilderness area with his ankle broken in half. Having been trained on how to get out of the rapids, he determined that he would get to the shore, and he did.

Not having been trained in what to do with a broken ankle in the bottom of a canyon...he determined that he would walk out of the canyon and up the steep, rocky path just as he had come down.

He did not.

You see, his ankle had the deciding vote, and it had decided that walking up a rocky slope was not in its best interest.

So, in an effort to appease the broken ankle, the man tried to walk using a crutch made from a tree.

Which was a brilliant idea...

If he had been walking on a smooth sidewalk going downhill for a short distance.

But he wasn’t.

He was next to a river at the bottom of a canyon, miles from anywhere, in the middle of a wilderness area with his ankle broken in half.

So he decided to think of every possible solution and to choose the best one.

From helicopters to climbing teams, he imagined every possible means to get out of the canyon that was miles from anywhere, in the middle of a wilderness area—with his ankle broken in half.

But while he was thinking, a raft came around the corner.

Which was interesting, because even though he had tried to think of every possible solution he had never thought of a raft.

But that wasn’t all.

Because in the raft was a Wilderness Emergency Medical Technician.

Which was particularly interesting, because the man with the broken ankle didn’t know there was such a thing as a Wilderness Emergency Medical Technician and he certainly didn’t expect one to be on a raft that he hadn’t even thought of.
Well, the Wilderness EMT made a splint with duct tape and branches from a tree and put the man in his raft, and later that night they camped at a beautiful spot on the river and ate chicken fajitas and strawberry shortcake.

Which was interesting, because the man with the broken ankle thought that he would be eating the dehydrated eggs that he had in his backpack.

Then he realized that a lot of things he hadn’t thought of and a lot of things that he had thought of had turned out in ways that he never thought out.

Which is why I am telling you this story.

I was the man with the broken ankle.

And that day next to the river at the bottom of a canyon, miles from anywhere in the middle of a wilderness area with my ankle broken in half...

I learned that I could not possible imagine all of the amazing things that were in store for me in my life.

Proust says that we shouldn’t look for new vistas, but instead look with fresh eyes.

He’s right.

No matter what life is throwing at us, there us a raft around the corner that we cannot see.

Don’t look for it; it cannot be seen.

Don’t predict when it will appear; it’s not on your timetable.

Don’t doubt that it exists, for doubts will cloud your eyes and cause you to give up before it arrives.

Don’t give up; give in.

Give in to the idea that positive events are in your future, even if you can’t see them.

Give in to the idea that positive events are in your future, even if you can’t imagine what they could possibly be.

There’s a raft around the corner.
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"Getting outside of the box can not only be fun, it is sometimes necessary for our survival. That is what survival training is all about. It disrupts our inner programming, the mentality of going through life on 'auto-pilot' so that we can readily see bright new possibilities heading our way."
Gail Pursell Elliott
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THINKING LIKE A FARMER
by Jim Rohn

One of the difficulties we face in our industrialized age is the fact we've lost our sense of seasons. Unlike the farmer whose priorities change with the seasons, we have become impervious to the natural rhythm of life. As a result, we have our priorities out of balance. Let me illustrate what I mean:

For a farmer, springtime is his most active time. It's then when he must work around the clock, up before the sun and still toiling at the stroke of midnight. He must keep his equipment running at full capacity because he has but a small window of time for the planting of his crop. Eventually winter comes when there is less for him to do to keep him busy.

There is a lesson here. Learn to use the seasons of life. Decide when to pour it on and when to ease back, when to take advantage and when to let things ride. It's easy to keep going from nine to five year in and year out and lose a natural sense of priorities and cycles. Don't let one year blend into another in a seemingly endless parade of tasks and responsibilities. Keep your eye on your own seasons, lest you lose sight of value and substance.

To Your Success,
Jim Rohn
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"Simplify, consolidate, and eliminate tasks. Reengineer your work continuously."
Brian Tracy

this first story today is just for you....pookie

i love you!!

"You can't brag that you're humble...and be humble."
Terry McEwen
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Blues, Blues, Go Away
by Marie T. Russell

This article was written in answer to the following question:

"Why am I feeling like this?"

The reason you are feeling "down" is that you are not following your inner truth.

When you don't feel like doing something, it is much better for you to do what you really feel like doing. This will serve you much better and keep your energy at a high peak, instead of letting it drain because you are going against the flow. I know you understand this.

When you do something with a negative attitude or in a negative (resentful) frame of mind, you will get the same kind of results on a energy level. As you sow, so shall you reap.

Learn to listen to and heed the small voice within. When you sense that you really don't feel like doing something... stop and ask yourself what you really would like to do at this time. Then if at all possible... do that which your heart truly desires. Don't let your mind or reason dictate what you are to do.

Follow the quiet promptings of your heart. The heart knows best. Have you not been told this before?

Remember to fulfill your heart's desires. Usually these are not such big things that are impossible to do. Sometimes it is simply to go outside and smell the roses... The saying does go "Don't go through life so fast you forget to smell the roses..."

Did you take time to smell the roses today?

Did you stop to chat with a friend?... Or were you too busy...

Did you take time to admire the beautiful perfection of the blue sky, or the shape of the clouds?

And how about admiring the beauty that you are?

Another reason you do not feel at your utmost level of energy is the food you eat... You need to keep "alive energy" in your cells and to do so must put in food which is also alive.

You need to slow down and take the time to prepare your food lovingly, or have someone else prepare it lovingly, and then stop and feed your body lovingly.

Take the time to sit down and eat instead of standing and eating 'on the go'. Your body carries you around throughout the day. It deserves to be treated with respect and love. It deserves some gratefulness for the work it is doing.

You sometimes only look at the dark side of your being... yes there is a pimple on your forehead... so what! Did you notice the healthy glow to your cheeks... or the beautiful smile, or the vibrant and healthy mane of hair?

Please! Stop and take time to love yourself.

Take time to do things for yourself.

Take time to listen to your heart and follow its guidance.

Don't override the voice that speaks within. It is there to serve you, to provide you with happiness at all times. When you override its feelings, it's like hanging up the phone on a friend. You would never do that would you? Well don't hang up on your inner voice. Its only desire is to help you attain that state of perfect happiness that you so desire.

Stop and pay attention.

Look around you.

And listen to the messages that come to you.
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"You can accomplish anything in life, provided that you do not mind who gets the credit."
Harry S. Truman
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It's great

It's great when others think highly of you. And yet your value does not depend on what others think.

It's great when things are going your way. And yet true fulfillment in life does not depend on everything always being perfect.

It's great when fortune smiles on you. And yet it is in the difficult, challenging times that you grow stronger and gain valuable wisdom.

It's great when you get something right on the first attempt. And yet there is much to be learned from mistakes and disappointments as well.

It's great to spend some time relaxing. And yet if that's all you ever do, life can become unbearably empty.

Whatever life may send your way, there's a way for you to make the most of it. In every up and every down, you have the golden opportunity to fully live.

Ralph Marston
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"Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact."
George Eliot

"The operative assumption today is that someone, somewhere, has a better idea; and the operative compulsion is to find out who has that better idea, learn it and put it into action – fast."
Jack Welch
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If Only You'd Listen to Your Own Intuition
by Anita Foley

"I KNEW that was going to happen!" How many times have you heard those words come out of your own mouth? Probably plenty, if you're like most people.

We all possess something called "intuition". It's an inner "knowing' which, when paid attention to, will help us make decisions and even prevent us from making mistakes!

Do you remember when you were in school and you had to take those dreaded multiple choice tests? How many times did you get an answer wrong because you had changed it from your original answer? I'll bet it didn't take long before you figured out you should always go with your FIRST instinct. That's because you really did know the correct answer, and your intuition provided it for you. Then, perhaps you doubted your insight and changed the answer.

Did you know that your brain, like a giant computer, stores all the data that is ever put into it? The problem is that most of us can only RECALL about 10% of that data at any given time. But, on occasion, your intuition kicks in and digs deep into the file cabinet of your mind to pull out a stored-away answer.

I'm sure you've experienced having a piece of information "right on the tip of your tongue". The data is in your head somewhere but you can't quite get it out. Sometimes it just takes a while and the answer will come to you a few hours later. It just sort of "pops in" when you're not even trying to remember it anymore.

Well, sometimes information will "pop in" as a warning or in answer to an unasked question. You get a "feeling" about something. Maybe it's just a "gut feeling" or maybe it's more like a premonition. Do you listen to it or ignore it?

It's very easy, in hindsight, to see where you could have prevented a problem or mistake by listening to your hunches. But how can you learn to use your intuition to give you answers or even evoke warnings BEFORE it's too late to do something about them?

1. Learn to listen to your own intuition. The voice within you speaks to you constantly, and you are usually just too busy to listen to it. When making major decisions, make a conscious effort to take some quiet time alone to hear what your inner voice is saying.

2. Never doubt your own intelligence and common sense. When your inner voice says, "watch out", learn to take heed.

3. Never feel, because you don't have a PhD or other fancy degree, that you are less capable than the next guy. The so-called gurus and experts don't have all the answers and don't always know what they're talking about. Just remember how many stock EXPERTS told people to buy Yahoo at $150 a share.

4. Remember that nobody knows you like YOU do. Your intuition is YOU talking to you.

5. Keep your own counsel. There's a reason your intuition gives you advice. Don't ignore it. You are your own best advisor.

Some people intentionally ignore their intuition. They doubt their own inner wisdom. They do things even though their intuition tells them otherwise. They make the same mistakes over and over again. Then they find themselves always saying, "I KNEW that was going to happen!"
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"Ideas are like children; they must crawl before they can walk, and walk before they can run."
Denis Waitley
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Success is achieved
Success is achieved not by doing only what is comfortable and convenient. Success is built by doing what must be done to reach it. Success is achieved not by waiting until the last minute to get started. Success is created by looking ahead and working to be fully prepared.

Success is achieved not by making a half-hearted effort. Success comes when there is rock-solid commitment and real, meaningful purpose.

Success is achieved not by waiting for the lucky breaks. Success is built by making the most of whatever circumstances and events may come along.

Success is achieved not at random. Success happens when there is a decision and an effort and a commitment to make it happen.

Success is achieved not by a lucky few. Success is achieved by anyone who chooses to create it.

Ralph Marston
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"A new idea is delicate. It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn; it can be stabbed to death by a quip and worried to death by a frown on the right man's brow."
Charles Browner

"All human wisdom is summed up in two words - wait and hope."
Alexander Dumas
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90/10 Secret
by Rashid.A.V.

We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane may be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%!

How? By your reaction.

Let's use an example.... You're eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened. What happens next will be determined by how you react. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the coffee cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school - she misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit.

You have a miserable day at work but are not sure why everything seems to go wrong. You look forward to going home. When you arrive home you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.

Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning.

Why did you have a bad day? A) Did the coffee cause it? B) Did your daughter cause it? C) Did your colleagues cause it? D) Did you cause it? The answer is D.

You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day. Here is what could have and should have happened. Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say "It's OK honey, you just need to be more careful next time".

Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase. You come back down in time look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You and your spouse kiss before you both go to work. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good of day you are having. Notice the difference. Two different scenarios. Both started the same, but ended differently.

Why? Because of how you REACTED.

Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 secret: If someone says something negative about you, do not be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out, etc.

How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound the steering wheel? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them? WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the other driver ruin your day?

The plane is late. It is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passengers, etc. Why get stressed out?


You now know the 90-10 secret - apply it and you will be amazed at the results!
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"Expect to have hope rekindled. Expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways. The dry seasons in life do not last. The spring rains will come again."
Sarah Ban Breathnach
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Taking responsibility for our own attitudes, actions, and neglects is far more difficult than managing and directing other people's lives.

Giving advice to another, for example, is much easier that practicing what we preach. If we would apply our advice to our own lives, we would have less time to criticize, correct, or interfere in someone else's difficulties. Moreover, we would be amazed at how many alternatives we have within our own grasp that could solve, or at least alleviate, the problems in our lives.

TODAY - Let me realize I am far more positive and predictive when I concentrate my efforts and thoughts on changing myself and my own actions. Give me the courage to act on my own internal wisdom.

The Reflecting Pond
by Liane Cordes
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"Hope is necessary in every condition. The miseries of poverty, sickness and captivity would, without this comfort, be insupportable."
Samuel Johnson

"Treat your body like a temple, not a woodshed. The mind and body work together. Your body needs to be a good support system for the mind and spirit. If you take good care of it, your body can take you wherever you want to go, with the power and strength and energy and vitality you will need to get there." -
Jim Rohn
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The Words Do Matter

Air Canada Flight 154

I was boarding a flight in Edmonton, Alberta, bound for Toronto after a long day. As I handed my boarding pass to the Air Canada gate agent, I asked her if she was having a good day. Her response has been in my mind for nearly two weeks. She looked at me, smiled, and said, "All the better for you asking me, thanks."

As I literally skipped down the jetway, I smiled. I have asked hundreds of people if they are having a good day. Never have I received that response. I've heard, "It's ok.", "No not really," and "Fine, thanks." But never, until now, have I heard "All the better for you asking me, thanks."

Her response was gracious and warm. It wowed me as a Customer - giving me a very positive experience with Air Canada (even before I was on the plane!) More importantly, it made me feel special as a human being. Perhaps she was taught to say this by a parent at a young age and it was an automatic response. Even if this were true, her genuine response makes that irrelevant.

What would have been a normal flight was changed by eight words - eight words I am sure I will never forget.

The Internet Essay

Recently I read an essay from one of my favorite writers. Scott Ringwelski writes an essay each week called Positive Pause. Last week's issue starts . . .

"No Problem.actually is.

'No problem.' It seems natural, easy going, off the cuff, casual.

It's a throwaway line for a disposable world.

However, how does your throwaway line and casual attitude translate to those you say it to?"

Scott goes on to say that the two words are actually two negatives, no and problem. Through a wonderful personal story he relates that rather than answering a request with "no problem," it would be much more meaningful and powerful to say "It would be my pleasure." Scott knows, as does my Edmonton friend, that choosing these words can make a huge difference.

Rhea

A few hours ago my step mother passed away. While there are many ways she blessed my life and there will be many things I will remember about her, the thing that strikes me now is one of her favorite phrases. "Terrific!" Ask Rhea how she was, and she, more often than not, would say "Terrific!" Even over the last few months when she was very ill. When you saw her, or spoke to her on the phone, if you asked how she was, she would say, "Terrific!"

Certainly in these last few months she hasn't always been terrific, at least by most people's standards. Her optimistic reply though, always lifted my day - even if I were calling to try and lift hers.

The Common Thread

In all of these cases, the words chosen by people have made a positive difference to those around them. As a consultant if I think about these word choices, I could easily make a case that using these phrases would be powerful in terms of Customer Service, and internal communications.


Most importantly though is that choosing these words transforms the people who say the words. Think about my Air Canada friend saying, "All the better for you asking me, thanks!", or anyone saying "It's been a pleasure," or "Terrific!"

These phrases recast our thinking and our self talk in a more positive, focused, and accountable way. Indeed, these words can make a big difference in the lives of others, and in our lives as well.

The words do matter. To everyone.

Yours in Learning,
Kevin Eikenberry
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"Laughter is the most healthful exertion."
Christoph Wilhelm Hufeland
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Superbly fulfilling
The quickest route to an empty life is to live only for yourself. There is no pain greater than the pain of total self absorption. Yet there is always a way to get away from that unbearable emptiness. The moment you begin to sincerely care for someone or something beyond yourself, a golden warmth enters your life.

As soon as you let go of a few of your own self-centered concerns, you start to make room in your world for real joy and fulfillment. When you give of yourself, you begin to experience a magnificent sense of purpose that cannot be reached in any other way.

Behind every desire is a longing for meaning and fulfillment. A truly powerful way to quench that thirst for meaning is to live beyond yourself.

Before you speak, choose words that will serve a greater good. Before you act, choose deeds that will make a positive contribution to the world around you.

In small things and large, use the opportunity of each moment to look and to act beyond your own concerns. The success you create by so doing will be real and superbly fulfilling.

Ralph Marston
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"It is not work that kills men; it is worry. Work is healthy; you can hardly put more upon a man than he can bear. Worry is rust upon the blade. It is not the revolution that destroys the machinery, but the friction. Fear secrets acids; but love and trust are sweet juices."
Henry Ward Beecher

The truth shall make you free.
John 8:32
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What Can We Give? Fifteen special gifts you can give anytime--and that don't cost a cent!
By Hal Urban

When we give our time we give our lives. It’s the foundation of these fifteen special gifts. You may not have previously thought of them as gifts, but they are. If you look upon them in this way you’ll be much more likely give them and be a blessing to others.

1. The Gift of Personal Communication How do you feel when someone contacts you out of the blue for the sole purpose of reminding you that you’re a treasured friend? You feel the same way everyone else does—special, loved, appreciated. And you can brighten someone else’s life any day of the week. This can be done with a phone call, a handwritten note, or an e-mail, and none take more than a few minutes.
2. The Gift of Quotations I’ve never met anyone who doesn’t appreciate a good quotation. That’s why I put so many of them in my books—they’re a gift to my readers, especially those who have expressed appreciation for them. The beauty of a good quotation is that it’s brief, to the point, full of wisdom and advice, and a boost for the spirit. Find them, collect them, and share them. It’s a simple way of giving someone a lift.

3. The Gift of a Good Recommendation When you make a great discovery, one that in some way enriches your life, share it with others. It could be a book (like this one, I hope), a play, a movie, a restaurant, a recipe, an article, a product, a service, a TV program, or a music CD. When you make these kinds of recommendations, you’re really saying, “This brought some joy to my life. I want it to do the same for you.”

4. The Gift of a Helping Hand All of us appreciate it when someone not only offers to help, but actually follows through. We’re all faced with tasks—some big, some small; some important, some trivial; some requiring skill, some menial. Whatever it is, it always goes better with the help of another person. Whether on the job, at home, in school, or out socially, the gift of help is always appreciated.

5. The Gift of Laughter I’ve never met anyone who didn’t like to laugh. It’s one of the happiest and most healthy activities known to the human race. Victor Borge said, “Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.” It’s also a life enhancer and a great gift, one that can be given easily and often. Don’t let those funny jokes, stories, bloopers, signs, and one-liners fade away. Share them with others.

6. The Gift of Listening There are many times when someone close to us wants only one thing—our full and undivided attention. Listening intently to another person, with our eyes and with our hearts, silently says, “What you have to say, and the feelings behind your words, are important. Right now this is the best gift I can give you. I value our friendship.”

7. The Gift of an Invitation I regard all invitations, whether to a major event, a wedding, a party, a sporting event, or lunch with a friend, as special gifts. Whenever we ask someone to join us, we’re really saying, “I want you to be there. Your company is cherished. You have something good to offer.” We all want to be included, to be asked to join in, for a simple reason—sharing experiences with other people is one of the greatest joys of life.

8. The Gift of Physical Affection How do you feel when someone gives you a hug, a warm handshake, a friendly pat on the back, a kiss on the cheek, an affectionate touch? If you’re a normal, red-blooded, breathing, living human being, you feel great. Alan Loy McGinnis, an esteemed counselor and author, advises, “Use your body to demonstrate warmth.” With the right people and in the proper setting, that’s exactly what acts of fondness do. Give this gift of affection liberally.9. The Gift of Appreciation When someone does something thoughtful for us, regardless of its nature, it’s a gift. We can give another gift in return simply by expressing our appreciation. The great psychologist and philosopher William James said, “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.” We can satisfy that craving, and give a gift, every time we express our appreciation.

10. The Gift of Good Advice Not everyone asks for it or wants it, but there are times when good advice is the greatest gift of all. The reason is that it can change lives. Countless accomplished people throughout history have cited good advice as the key to their success. When the opportunity is there and the other person is willing to listen, never hesitate to give this precious gift.

11. The Gift of Encouragement One of the greatest things you can do for another person is give encouragement. The word means, literally, to give courage. Sometimes it’s all a person needs to get started on something important. History is full of stories about people who achieved great things because of someone else’s encouragement.

12. The Gift of Patience This is actually a dual gift, because patience always comes as the result of understanding. That’s what we most want from other people, especially those closest to us. We especially need their patience and understanding when we’re not at our best. They’re gifts that enrich relationships by allowing them to grow. We can give the same gift to our family members, friends, and colleagues.

13. The Gift of Empathy Any time we can share feelings with another person, whether they’re of sorrow or joy, we give a treasured gift. When Cathy’s dad died unexpectedly in his midfifties some years ago, she experienced both shock and loss. The greatest comfort she received was from people who had also lost a parent under similar circumstances. They were able to identify with her, understand what she was going through, offer hope, and let her know they were there for her.

14. The Gift of Forgiveness This is the ultimate win-win gift. Both the giver and the receiver get something of great value—healing. We’re all in need of it because we’ve all been hurt and offended by someone else. It makes it easier to forgive them when we remind ourselves that we’ve also caused pain in others. Forgiveness releases us from unnecessary negative emotions and allows us to move on to better things.

15. The Gift of Prayer It was not a coincidence that I received an e-mail, a phone call, and a handwritten note about prayer while writing this chapter. Each one was from a dear friend who was not only thinking about me but praying for me. What made the gift even more special was that I hadn’t asked for the prayers. Since I look upon prayer—communication with God—as the highest activity of which a human being is capable, and because I know the sincerity of these people, their gifts became lasting treasures.

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The highest compact we can make with our fellow is: "Let there be truth between us two forevermore."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
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So much to do

Do you have so much to do that is seems overwhelming? Then stop thinking about how much there is and start getting it done. Feeling overwhelmed is merely a state of mind that you choose. And just as easily as you can choose it, you can choose to let it go.

A new day, a new month, a new year dawns and it can make you feel like time is quickly slipping away. But in fact, time comes to you just as quickly as it moves past.

And that means that each moment you get the opportunity to make a difference. Each moment, the best thing you can do is to make full and meaningful use of that moment.

That is how you get things done. Moment by moment, little by little, small tasks build into great accomplishments, and accomplishments build into a life with real fulfillment.

You don't have to tackle everything all at once. Just do what you can, when you can, filling each moment with positive purpose and action.

And what once seemed overwhelming will quickly become a source of real and lasting fulfillment.

Ralph Marston
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"You can only do good if you feel good."
Denis Waitley

So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.
Morrie Schwartz
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Resolutions for a Peaceful New Year
How you--and your children--can start to create peace and harmony this year.
By Naomi Drew

Peace is a daily, a weekly, a monthly process, gradually changing opinions, slowly eroding old barriers, quietly building new structures. —John F. Kennedy

Hope is believing in spite of the evidence, then watching the evidence change. —Jim Wallis, editor of "Sojourners"

The joy and hope of this new year are tempered by heaviness in our hearts as conflict rages abroad, and young lives are lost daily. Regardless of our religious, ethnic, or political orientation, we each feel the pain of this loss, and have great compassion for families whose loved ones are fighting abroad. May we take care not to get so swept up in the busy-ness of our lives that we lose touch with the heartache that many in our midst are enduring. Now, more than ever, it's essential that we bring the spirit of peace, love, and goodwill toward each other into the new year. May this be a time of healing, compassion, and reaching out--a time to transcend our differences, and strengthen our human connections.
How do we stay in touch with and convey to our children spirit and meaning peace, love, and good will? How can we embody each of these in our actions? What follows are some answers to these questions.

1. Speak from the heart.
Let people know either by your spoken words, or through notes you send, how much you love and care about them. Avoid the superficial and inauthentic. Reach deep into your heart and soul, and speak from these when you connect with others. Encourage your children to do the same.

2. Forgive someone.
Think of one person, past or present, toward whom you have ill feelings. Be it a parent, a sibling, a spouse, child, or someone who was once your friend, ask yourself if you can find it in your heart to grant them forgiveness.

Sit down and write a note of forgiveness to this person. This note is just for you. When you're finished, ask yourself if you're ready to make a phone call or send an actual note that helps mend fences. Talk to your children about your process and see if they have someone they need to forgive. Let them know that forgiving is one of the greatest gestures of generosity we can make.

3. Listen with compassion.
So often conversation tends toward the mundane. We go through the motions of talking and listening while our internal conversations ramble on. This year, try listening with an open heart even if you disagree. Listening compassionately simply means that you're making an effort to understand. Try putting yourself in the other person's place as you listen, and see what you can learn. Encourage your children to do this as well. Compassionate listening is another gesture of true magnanimity.

4. Stop and notice.
The rush-rush nature of life often compels us to engage in back-to-back activities without soaking in what we're experiencing. Stop, notice, and take in the small moments: the look in your child's eyes as you admire a drawing she made for you in school; the feel of your mother's arms around you after having been apart; the sound of your friend's voice a thousand miles away. Then, later, reflect. Take some time to write about subtle observations and emotions that you experienced just by stopping and noticing. Resist getting swept up in the swirl. Instead, stay present to the richness of each moment.

5. Make a difference for someone in need.
What can you do to make a difference in someone's life? My sister has a wonderful ritual of taking her children to a home for the aged each New Year's. She and her girls give homemade gifts to elderly people who have no families to visit them. My sister has shared many stories with me about the tears and hugs of the people she and her children have connected with. The small handmade gifts and shared conversation are priceless to the elderly people who would otherwise be alone during this time. Think of things you and your family can do to reach out to others.

6. Continue several of the above suggestions all year long.
If we each made the conscious decision to live in the spirit of peace, love, and goodwill every single day, our world would slowly start to change. For this new year, and all year long, remind yourself and your children that this essential change in our world begins with each of you. We can each be the candle that helps to light the world.

For those of you who have loved ones serving overseas, deepest prayers go to you and to those you love. May they be well wherever they are, and may, someday soon, we find a way to live in peace.

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"Don't dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend you energies on moving forward toward finding the answer."
Denis Waitley

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Inner Beauty

When it is only through age that one gathers wisdom and experience, why this endless struggle to seem young?...Remember that beauty works from within, it cannot be put on and off like a garment, and it depends far more on the culture of the intellect, than the taste, sentiment, and affections of the soul than the colour of the hair, eyes, or complexion...Be kind, noble, generous, well-mannered, be true to yourselves and your friends, and the soft lines of these tender graces and noble virtues will reveal themselves in the face...we cannot be one thing and look another...There are indelible marks in every face showing the real life within.

Elizabeth Cady Stanton
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It doesn't take much to lift one's spirits: simple pleasures abound everywhere. All we need to do is prepare the mind, look, then enjoy.
Brian Luke Seaward

"Generosity lies less in giving much than in giving at the right moment."
Jean de la Bruyere
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Bad Hop
By Steve Smith


The ball pinged off the aluminum bat and headed toward the hole between shortstop and third base, the sort of one-hop screamer that the high-school junior shortstop, my son Chris, had backhanded a thousand times. Only this time, the ball hit a pebble and caromed weirdly toward his head. With a sickening crunch, the ball caught him flush in his left eye, and he went down in a heap. Bad hop, and a bad break.
The ambulance came onto the field, and he was taken away, something that just doesn't seem to happen in the pastoral world of high-school baseball. At the hospital, Chris was diagnosed with a blowout fracture of the bones in the orbit of his eye socket - a classic sports injury easily resolved by a simple surgical procedure.
Except that things went wrong, and when the surgeon finally screwed up his courage enough to tell my wife and me what happened - an undetected blood clot had cut off oxygen to the optic nerve - the long and short of it was that Chris would be blind in his left eye, probably for the rest of his life. In one instant, the college scholarships Chris had contemplated and the dreams of a professional baseball career vanished.
Chris was still groggy from the surgery when we went into his hospital room, his bandaged eye holding a secret we now had to share with him. We chatted about small things until he was alert enough to ask the inevitable, "Did everything go okay?"
My wife, Sue, gripped my hand as I told him that, no, it had not. That there had been complications. That the doctors had done their best, that medicine was still more art than science.
Halfway through my semiprepared speech, Chris interrupted me:
"Dad, am I blind?"
"Yeah, son. I'm afraid so."
"Will I be able to see out of it at all?"
"We don't know - the doctors don't know. Maybe a little. Someday. Not now." It was the toughest thing I've ever had to do.
Chris sort of nodded and looked away toward the window. Outside it was spring, and we listened for a time to a robin's territorial song from a nearby tree.
"Can I have a Coke?"
The duty nurse brought Chris a soft drink in a can with a cup and some ice. His mother poured the drink and he sat up and drank some of it through a straw, and then peered at the can on his bedside table.
"Dad, could you see if they have a pencil and paper I can use?"
I walked outside to the nurses' station and borrowed a notepad and a pencil and returned to Chris's room, where his mother was talking with him in hushed tones. I handed him the pad and pencil, and we elevated his bed. He raised his knees and propped the pad against them, looked at the soda can, and began to draw. Sue and I said nothing as long minutes passed. Finally, he tore off the sheet of paper and handed it to me. We looked at it - a photo-likeness of a Coca-Cola soft-drink can. Chris had always had an uncanny artistic ability: if his eyes could see it, his hand could draw it. We had thought of art as his second love - right behind baseball. In those brief moments, Chris took a bad hop, made a decision and changed forever the course of his life.
"I'm okay, you guys. I can still draw."
With that, he lowered his bed, turned onto his side and fell asleep.
That was eleven years ago. Since then, about 40 percent of the sight has returned to Chris's left eye. Even with this handicap, which severely affects depth perception, he went on to hit .385 and shortstop a state-championship baseball team the very next season, earning all-state honors in the process.
But his focus had changed. Chris took his college degree - with the help of an academic and not an athletic scholarship - in fisheries and wildlife management as a background for his career as a wildlife and sporting artist. Today, his paintings and pencil renderings grace the pages and covers of magazines and more than a dozen books, and they hang in galleries and museums in New York and Tennessee. The list of his clients awaiting oil and watercolor commissions is always at least a year long.
Human courage manifests itself in countless ways, countless times every day in every city and town and hamlet on every continent around the world. One bad hop, one routine ground ball, one instant of pain, and what could have been months of despair. But instead, that bad hop - and the courage to accept what could not be changed - altered the course of a life for the better.
In sports we call such things great comebacks. I suppose in Chris's case, there is no reason to call it anything else. Proving, I guess, that some bad hops can be fielded cleanly after all.
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We don't accomplish anything in this world alone ... and whatever happens is the result of the whole tapestry of one's life and all the weavings of individual threads from one to another that creates something.
Sandra Day O'Connor
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Unfortunately, life does not come with a money-back guarantee. Going after what we want, especially if we're up against established interests, is likely to demand the commitment of our best energies -- with no certainty of getting it.

Oddly enough, some of the happiest people we are ever likely to meet are those who devote their lives to seemingly hopeless causes. For such people, daring a lot can mean staking their lives on a belief. The outcomes are bound to be small in proportion: failure, perhaps. At best, limited achievement.

But none of this seems to matter. In fact, a happy person with a cause seems to have totally let go of the outcome. The joy is in the struggle, in the process. They learn so much; and by living for something outside themselves, their own small problems miraculously fall into line.

Today I'll keep in mind that achievement is risky, but dedication is wonderfully liberating.

from the book: The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey & Martha Vanceburg
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"When God makes a person what is most important is the heart and soul. The outside is just decoration."
Muhammad Ali

Living in the moment means letting go of the past and not waiting for the future. It means living your life consciously, aware that each moment you breathe is a gift.
Oprah Winfrey
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ESTABLISHING DREAMS AND GOALS
by Jim Rohn

One of the amazing things we have been given as humans is the unquenchable desire to have dreams of a better life, and the ability to establish goals to live out those dreams. Think of it: We can look deep within our hearts and dream of a better situation for ourselves and our families; dream of better financial lives and better emotional or physical lives; certainly dream of better spiritual lives. But what makes this even more powerful is that we have also been given the ability to not only dream but to pursue those dreams and not only to pursue them, but the cognitive ability to actually lay out a plan and strategies (setting goals) to achieve those dreams. Powerful! And that is what we will discuss in detail this week: How to dream dreams and establish goals to get those dreams.

What are your dreams and goals? This isn't what you already have or what you have done, but what you want. Have you ever really sat down and thought through your life values and decided what you really want? Have you ever taken the time to truly reflect, to listen quietly to your heart, to see what dreams live within you? Your dreams are there. Everyone has them. They may live right on the surface, or they may be buried deep from years of others telling you they were foolish, but they are there.

So how do we know what our dreams are? This is an interesting process and it relates primarily to the art of listening. This is not listening to others; it is listening to yourself. If we listen to others, we hear their plans and dreams (and many will try to put their plans and dreams on us). If we listen to others, we can never be fulfilled. We will only chase elusive dreams that are not rooted deep within us. No, we must listen to our own hearts.

Let's take a look at some practical steps/thoughts on hearing from our hearts on what our dreams are:

Take time to be quiet. This is something that we don't do enough in this busy world of ours. We rush, rush, rush, and we are constantly listening to noise all around us. The human heart was meant for times of quiet, to peer deep within. It is when we do this that our hearts are set free to soar and take flight on the wings of our own dreams! Schedule some quiet "dream time" this week. No other people. No cell phone. No computer. Just you, a pad, a pen, and your thoughts (you get to do this in the workbook exercises this week).

Think about what really thrills you. When you are quiet, think about those things that really get your blood moving. What would you LOVE to do, either for fun or for a living? What would you love to accomplish? What would you try if you were guaranteed to succeed? What big thoughts move your heart into a state of excitement and joy? When you answer these questions you will feel Great and you will be in the "dream zone." It is only when we get to this point that we experience what Our dreams are!

Write down all of your dreams as you have them. Don't think of any as too outlandish or foolish - remember, you're dreaming! Let the thoughts fly and take careful record.

Now, prioritize those dreams. Which are most important? Which are most feasible? Which would you love to do the most? Put them in the order in which you will actually try to attain them. Remember, we are always moving toward action, not just dreaming.

Here is the big picture: Life is too short to not pursue your dreams.

Someday your life will near its end and all you will be able to do is look backwards. You can reflect with joy or regret. Those who dream, who set goals and act on them to live out their dreams are those who live lives of joy and have a sense of peace when they near the end of their lives. They have finished well, for themselves and for their families.

Remember: These are the dreams and goals that are born out of your heart and mind. These are the goals that are unique to you and come from who you were created to be and gifted to become. Your specific goals are what you want to attain because they are what will make your life joyful and bring your family's life into congruence with what you want it to be.

Jim Rohn
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I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.
Albert Einstein
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Above and beyond
When life asks for a single measure of effort, give two, or three. When just a little bit of patience and understanding is called for, give a lot.

When a small thing is expected of you, give more than what's expected. Once you've worked yourself into a positive, productive, value-creating state, keep it going for a while.

Every extra effort draws immense leverage from all the ordinary efforts that have preceded it. Once you have positive momentum established, it pays to make the most of it.

The longer you extend that momentum, the more powerful it grows. In such a situation, even a small extra effort can produce large and impressive results.

If you stop when you've done just the bare minimum, you walk away from all the momentum you've created. What a shame it would be to waste something so valuable that you've worked to create.

Instead, choose to go above and beyond. You'll find that every extra effort will add greatly to life's richness.
Ralph Marston
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I've come to believe that all my past failure and frustration were actually laying the foundation for the understandings that have created the new level of living I now enjoy.
Anthony Robbins

"Habits are like submarines; they run silent and deep."
Denis Waitley
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Eight Steps to Aging Gracefully Recommendations for enhancing spiritual health and well-being.
By Andrew Weil, M. D.

Pay attention to your breath. Many cultures identify breath with spirit, seeing the breath cycle as the movement of spirit in the physical body…. Simply minding the breath is a way of expanding consciousness beyond the ego, of experiencing transcendence.

Connect with nature. You can do this by walking or sitting in a natural setting; a city park will do just fine. Allow yourself to slow down, drop your usual routines, and just absorb the influence of the place.

Make a list of people in your life in whose company you feel more alive, happy, and optimistic. Make an effort to spend more time with them. Our spiritual selves resonate with others, and that connection is a healing.

Bring flowers into your home and enjoy their beauty.

Listen to music that you find inspirational and uplifting.

Admire a work of art that raises your spirits: a painting, sculpture, or work of architecture.

Reach out and try to resume connection with someone from whom you are estranged; practice forgiveness.

Do some sort of service work. Give some of your time and energy to help others. The possibilities are endless but do not include just writing a check to charity. The suggestions above are intended to help you become more aware of your spiritual self. Any activity that makes you feel more alive, more connected to others and to nature, less isolated, more comfortable with change, is beneficial. It will enhance your physical and mental health. It will help you accept the fact of your aging. It will help you to age gracefully.
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"Being miserable is a habit; being happy is a habit; and the choice is yours."
Tom Hopkins
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Timeless joy

Every joy you've experienced, even years and years ago, is still with you. Time and events can take away the conditions and surroundings of that joy, yet they can never take away the joy itself. Joy has no need of being remembered, for it is always with you. All you have to do is allow it to fill your heart, and it will.

The terrain will change, the colors will fade, the sounds will grow silent and other experiences will take their place. Yet the joy is always as fresh and new, as sweet and revitalizing as ever.

Even when memories grow dim, the joy will shine ever more brightly. For joy is truly timeless.

Put joy into your life and it will always be there. The more often you let it touch you and fill you, the more of it there will be.

Put joy into your moments and create value that you can always draw upon. Spread joy to others and you give a gift that will keep on giving, over and over again.

Ralph Marston
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"Good habits are hard to form and easy to live with. Bad habits are easy to form and hard to live with. Nothing is neutral. Everything counts."
Brian Tracy