"Generosity lies less in giving much than in giving at the right moment."
Jean de la Bruyere
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Bad Hop
By Steve Smith


The ball pinged off the aluminum bat and headed toward the hole between shortstop and third base, the sort of one-hop screamer that the high-school junior shortstop, my son Chris, had backhanded a thousand times. Only this time, the ball hit a pebble and caromed weirdly toward his head. With a sickening crunch, the ball caught him flush in his left eye, and he went down in a heap. Bad hop, and a bad break.
The ambulance came onto the field, and he was taken away, something that just doesn't seem to happen in the pastoral world of high-school baseball. At the hospital, Chris was diagnosed with a blowout fracture of the bones in the orbit of his eye socket - a classic sports injury easily resolved by a simple surgical procedure.
Except that things went wrong, and when the surgeon finally screwed up his courage enough to tell my wife and me what happened - an undetected blood clot had cut off oxygen to the optic nerve - the long and short of it was that Chris would be blind in his left eye, probably for the rest of his life. In one instant, the college scholarships Chris had contemplated and the dreams of a professional baseball career vanished.
Chris was still groggy from the surgery when we went into his hospital room, his bandaged eye holding a secret we now had to share with him. We chatted about small things until he was alert enough to ask the inevitable, "Did everything go okay?"
My wife, Sue, gripped my hand as I told him that, no, it had not. That there had been complications. That the doctors had done their best, that medicine was still more art than science.
Halfway through my semiprepared speech, Chris interrupted me:
"Dad, am I blind?"
"Yeah, son. I'm afraid so."
"Will I be able to see out of it at all?"
"We don't know - the doctors don't know. Maybe a little. Someday. Not now." It was the toughest thing I've ever had to do.
Chris sort of nodded and looked away toward the window. Outside it was spring, and we listened for a time to a robin's territorial song from a nearby tree.
"Can I have a Coke?"
The duty nurse brought Chris a soft drink in a can with a cup and some ice. His mother poured the drink and he sat up and drank some of it through a straw, and then peered at the can on his bedside table.
"Dad, could you see if they have a pencil and paper I can use?"
I walked outside to the nurses' station and borrowed a notepad and a pencil and returned to Chris's room, where his mother was talking with him in hushed tones. I handed him the pad and pencil, and we elevated his bed. He raised his knees and propped the pad against them, looked at the soda can, and began to draw. Sue and I said nothing as long minutes passed. Finally, he tore off the sheet of paper and handed it to me. We looked at it - a photo-likeness of a Coca-Cola soft-drink can. Chris had always had an uncanny artistic ability: if his eyes could see it, his hand could draw it. We had thought of art as his second love - right behind baseball. In those brief moments, Chris took a bad hop, made a decision and changed forever the course of his life.
"I'm okay, you guys. I can still draw."
With that, he lowered his bed, turned onto his side and fell asleep.
That was eleven years ago. Since then, about 40 percent of the sight has returned to Chris's left eye. Even with this handicap, which severely affects depth perception, he went on to hit .385 and shortstop a state-championship baseball team the very next season, earning all-state honors in the process.
But his focus had changed. Chris took his college degree - with the help of an academic and not an athletic scholarship - in fisheries and wildlife management as a background for his career as a wildlife and sporting artist. Today, his paintings and pencil renderings grace the pages and covers of magazines and more than a dozen books, and they hang in galleries and museums in New York and Tennessee. The list of his clients awaiting oil and watercolor commissions is always at least a year long.
Human courage manifests itself in countless ways, countless times every day in every city and town and hamlet on every continent around the world. One bad hop, one routine ground ball, one instant of pain, and what could have been months of despair. But instead, that bad hop - and the courage to accept what could not be changed - altered the course of a life for the better.
In sports we call such things great comebacks. I suppose in Chris's case, there is no reason to call it anything else. Proving, I guess, that some bad hops can be fielded cleanly after all.
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We don't accomplish anything in this world alone ... and whatever happens is the result of the whole tapestry of one's life and all the weavings of individual threads from one to another that creates something.
Sandra Day O'Connor
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Unfortunately, life does not come with a money-back guarantee. Going after what we want, especially if we're up against established interests, is likely to demand the commitment of our best energies -- with no certainty of getting it.

Oddly enough, some of the happiest people we are ever likely to meet are those who devote their lives to seemingly hopeless causes. For such people, daring a lot can mean staking their lives on a belief. The outcomes are bound to be small in proportion: failure, perhaps. At best, limited achievement.

But none of this seems to matter. In fact, a happy person with a cause seems to have totally let go of the outcome. The joy is in the struggle, in the process. They learn so much; and by living for something outside themselves, their own small problems miraculously fall into line.

Today I'll keep in mind that achievement is risky, but dedication is wonderfully liberating.

from the book: The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey & Martha Vanceburg
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"When God makes a person what is most important is the heart and soul. The outside is just decoration."
Muhammad Ali

Living in the moment means letting go of the past and not waiting for the future. It means living your life consciously, aware that each moment you breathe is a gift.
Oprah Winfrey
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ESTABLISHING DREAMS AND GOALS
by Jim Rohn

One of the amazing things we have been given as humans is the unquenchable desire to have dreams of a better life, and the ability to establish goals to live out those dreams. Think of it: We can look deep within our hearts and dream of a better situation for ourselves and our families; dream of better financial lives and better emotional or physical lives; certainly dream of better spiritual lives. But what makes this even more powerful is that we have also been given the ability to not only dream but to pursue those dreams and not only to pursue them, but the cognitive ability to actually lay out a plan and strategies (setting goals) to achieve those dreams. Powerful! And that is what we will discuss in detail this week: How to dream dreams and establish goals to get those dreams.

What are your dreams and goals? This isn't what you already have or what you have done, but what you want. Have you ever really sat down and thought through your life values and decided what you really want? Have you ever taken the time to truly reflect, to listen quietly to your heart, to see what dreams live within you? Your dreams are there. Everyone has them. They may live right on the surface, or they may be buried deep from years of others telling you they were foolish, but they are there.

So how do we know what our dreams are? This is an interesting process and it relates primarily to the art of listening. This is not listening to others; it is listening to yourself. If we listen to others, we hear their plans and dreams (and many will try to put their plans and dreams on us). If we listen to others, we can never be fulfilled. We will only chase elusive dreams that are not rooted deep within us. No, we must listen to our own hearts.

Let's take a look at some practical steps/thoughts on hearing from our hearts on what our dreams are:

Take time to be quiet. This is something that we don't do enough in this busy world of ours. We rush, rush, rush, and we are constantly listening to noise all around us. The human heart was meant for times of quiet, to peer deep within. It is when we do this that our hearts are set free to soar and take flight on the wings of our own dreams! Schedule some quiet "dream time" this week. No other people. No cell phone. No computer. Just you, a pad, a pen, and your thoughts (you get to do this in the workbook exercises this week).

Think about what really thrills you. When you are quiet, think about those things that really get your blood moving. What would you LOVE to do, either for fun or for a living? What would you love to accomplish? What would you try if you were guaranteed to succeed? What big thoughts move your heart into a state of excitement and joy? When you answer these questions you will feel Great and you will be in the "dream zone." It is only when we get to this point that we experience what Our dreams are!

Write down all of your dreams as you have them. Don't think of any as too outlandish or foolish - remember, you're dreaming! Let the thoughts fly and take careful record.

Now, prioritize those dreams. Which are most important? Which are most feasible? Which would you love to do the most? Put them in the order in which you will actually try to attain them. Remember, we are always moving toward action, not just dreaming.

Here is the big picture: Life is too short to not pursue your dreams.

Someday your life will near its end and all you will be able to do is look backwards. You can reflect with joy or regret. Those who dream, who set goals and act on them to live out their dreams are those who live lives of joy and have a sense of peace when they near the end of their lives. They have finished well, for themselves and for their families.

Remember: These are the dreams and goals that are born out of your heart and mind. These are the goals that are unique to you and come from who you were created to be and gifted to become. Your specific goals are what you want to attain because they are what will make your life joyful and bring your family's life into congruence with what you want it to be.

Jim Rohn
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I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.
Albert Einstein
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Above and beyond
When life asks for a single measure of effort, give two, or three. When just a little bit of patience and understanding is called for, give a lot.

When a small thing is expected of you, give more than what's expected. Once you've worked yourself into a positive, productive, value-creating state, keep it going for a while.

Every extra effort draws immense leverage from all the ordinary efforts that have preceded it. Once you have positive momentum established, it pays to make the most of it.

The longer you extend that momentum, the more powerful it grows. In such a situation, even a small extra effort can produce large and impressive results.

If you stop when you've done just the bare minimum, you walk away from all the momentum you've created. What a shame it would be to waste something so valuable that you've worked to create.

Instead, choose to go above and beyond. You'll find that every extra effort will add greatly to life's richness.
Ralph Marston
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I've come to believe that all my past failure and frustration were actually laying the foundation for the understandings that have created the new level of living I now enjoy.
Anthony Robbins

"Habits are like submarines; they run silent and deep."
Denis Waitley
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Eight Steps to Aging Gracefully Recommendations for enhancing spiritual health and well-being.
By Andrew Weil, M. D.

Pay attention to your breath. Many cultures identify breath with spirit, seeing the breath cycle as the movement of spirit in the physical body…. Simply minding the breath is a way of expanding consciousness beyond the ego, of experiencing transcendence.

Connect with nature. You can do this by walking or sitting in a natural setting; a city park will do just fine. Allow yourself to slow down, drop your usual routines, and just absorb the influence of the place.

Make a list of people in your life in whose company you feel more alive, happy, and optimistic. Make an effort to spend more time with them. Our spiritual selves resonate with others, and that connection is a healing.

Bring flowers into your home and enjoy their beauty.

Listen to music that you find inspirational and uplifting.

Admire a work of art that raises your spirits: a painting, sculpture, or work of architecture.

Reach out and try to resume connection with someone from whom you are estranged; practice forgiveness.

Do some sort of service work. Give some of your time and energy to help others. The possibilities are endless but do not include just writing a check to charity. The suggestions above are intended to help you become more aware of your spiritual self. Any activity that makes you feel more alive, more connected to others and to nature, less isolated, more comfortable with change, is beneficial. It will enhance your physical and mental health. It will help you accept the fact of your aging. It will help you to age gracefully.
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"Being miserable is a habit; being happy is a habit; and the choice is yours."
Tom Hopkins
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Timeless joy

Every joy you've experienced, even years and years ago, is still with you. Time and events can take away the conditions and surroundings of that joy, yet they can never take away the joy itself. Joy has no need of being remembered, for it is always with you. All you have to do is allow it to fill your heart, and it will.

The terrain will change, the colors will fade, the sounds will grow silent and other experiences will take their place. Yet the joy is always as fresh and new, as sweet and revitalizing as ever.

Even when memories grow dim, the joy will shine ever more brightly. For joy is truly timeless.

Put joy into your life and it will always be there. The more often you let it touch you and fill you, the more of it there will be.

Put joy into your moments and create value that you can always draw upon. Spread joy to others and you give a gift that will keep on giving, over and over again.

Ralph Marston
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"Good habits are hard to form and easy to live with. Bad habits are easy to form and hard to live with. Nothing is neutral. Everything counts."
Brian Tracy

"For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Just Another Day
By Charlotte "Charlie" Volnek


Is it morning already? I rub my eyes and get up to ready myself for just another day. It's just another day. . . . I look out my window to see the sun beaming down, caressing the Earth with its golden rays. Above, white clouds float in the brilliant blue sky. I hear a cardinal singing to his mate as he perches upon my back fence. And a bed of crocus open their purple heads to the heavens in joyful thankfulness.
It's just another day. My small daughter bursts into the room, her giggle ringing through the house as she hugs my neck tightly. Her small hand fits into mine as she pulls me to the kitchen to show me the card she has made. A stick figure with curly brown hair waves from the paper and beneath it, written in purple crayon are the words, "I love you, Mommy."
It's just another day as I stand quietly and watch a handicapped child. He struggles to get his special walker over the curb, but it won't budge. A well-meaning teacher offers assistance, but he brushes her away. With determination, he conquers the curb and is off to laugh and play with his friends. I weep inside for his handicap, but I am inspired by his courage. And I smile as I watch the children play, totally accepting their friend for who he is, not judging him for what he lacks.
It's just another day. My son proudly presents the report he did for school. He shares with me the hopes and dreams he holds for his future. His curiosity and excitement are contagious as we unfold the limitless possibilities that lay before him. I am encouraged that no dream is beyond our reach if we want it bad enough.
It's just another day. My beloved wraps his arms around me and surrounds me in love. I turn to look in the eyes that share my innermost feelings. What a special friend I have. Someone who loves me for who I am. Someone to lean on when I feel down. Someone to share my happiness. Someone to love.
Yes, it is just another day. A day to enjoy God's gracious beauty upon this Earth. A day to kiss the cherub cheeks of my children, and share in their hopes and dreams. A day to learn the value of determination and hard work. A day to learn the value of judging mankind for the quality he has, not what he has not. A day to learn the value of love. Yes, it's just another day, I sigh. The stars dance in the velvet sky as a full yellow moon smiles cheerfully down. The house is quiet and still. The only sound is the soft even breathing of my spouse. I recall the scripture: "This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." (Psalm 118:24) And as I lay at the side of my soul mate I pray that God will let me see "just another day"!
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"Defeat never comes to any man until he admits it."
Josephus Daniels
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"Count Your Blessings"

Perhaps one of the simplest ways to change your mood
or mental outlook is to remind yourself of all the good things in your life. Reflecting on how far you've come, what you have already accomplished, and what you have learned, can be very encouraging.

Appreciating your dearest friends, your closest family members, your favorite
possessions and of course yourself can bring a smile to your face.

If you need a lift or an attitude adjustment, try to appreciate and reflect on the
good things. Count your blessings. It can be done anytime and and place.
-Meditations for Women-
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"Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with."
Mark Twain

"Happiness is essentially a state of going somewhere, whole-heartedly, one-directionally, without regret or reservation."
William H. Sheldon
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Long Distance Vitamins
By Emily Chase


We arrived at the hospital to find Dad exhausted and weak, but his smile was as sure as ever. It was another bout of pneumonia. My husband and I stayed with him for the weekend but had to return to our jobs by Monday morning. Local relatives would see that Dad got home from the hospital, and they would look in on him regularly and prepare his meals. They would make sure he got his daily medicine and take him to his doctor appointments. But I longed to be able to let him know that we cared, too, even when we weren't with him. Then I remembered a family tradition I initiated when our children were small. When leaving their grandparents' home after a visit, each child would hide a love note in the house for their grandfather or grandmother to find after we were gone. They hid notes in the cereal box, to be poured into their bowls the next morning. They'd tuck a note under a hairbrush, in a deck of cards, next to the phone or even in the microwave. For days after our departure, their grandparents would smile as they discovered these reminders of our love. So as I tidied Dad's kitchen and made up a bed for him downstairs in the living room, I began writing notes. Some were practical. "Dad, I froze the casserole that was in the fridge so it wouldn't spoil." Some expressed my love. "Dad, I hope you sleep well in your new bed." Most notes were downstairs where he would be confined for several weeks until he regained strength, but one note I hid upstairs under his pillow. "Dad, if you have found this note, you must be feeling better. We are so glad!" While others cared for Dad's day-to-day needs, we, of course, would stay in touch by phone. But our notes were a tangible reminder of our love and concern for him during this recovery period. Just like his medicines boosted him physically, these "emotional vitamins" would boost his spiritual health. Several weeks later, in one of our regular phone calls, I asked Dad how he was doing. He said, "I'll tell you how I'm doing. I just found your note under my upstairs pillow!"

Emily Chase (c) 2004
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"The days that make us happy make us wise."
John Masefield
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"The Person You Choose To Be With Should Support Your Dreams and Respect Your Values"

Being accepted is a requirement in all relationships. Nobody wants to be with someone who rejects them for what they believe, or judges them for certain traits of their personality.

You're entitled to your own decisions, beliefs, goals, etc. When someone truly loves you, they love the whole package you come in. This includes the physical you, the emotional you and the dreams and values that come along with you.

After all, that's the true beauty of being an individual. And, the one you choose to be with should be grateful.
Meditations For Women
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"Always be happy, never be satisfied."
Mark McKeon

"It's how you deal with failure that determines how you achieve success."
David Feherty
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Just What the Doctor Ordered
By Whisperin' Bill Anderson


I've been asked a million times why I've chosen to put up with all the hassles and inconveniences of working the road all these years when I could have easily stayed in Nashville, written songs for a living, and enjoyed a peaceful and comfortable existence. My reply is now and has always been: Nobody applauds when you write a song. Applause surely must be the most powerful aphrodisiac known to mankind. The quest for it is a disease of the blood. Or, at best, a genetic disorder. What else would cause an apparently rational person of sound body and mind to pack his belongings and heedlessly ride away from his spouse and family in order to pursue such a nomadic and pointless existence? I mean, it's not like entertainers cure cancer or anything. Or do we? I once rode all night and half a day through a blinding snowstorm only to arrive in the little North Dakota town where we were booked to perform to find our concert had been canceled because of the weather. A handful of people hadn't heard the news, however, and had managed somehow to brave the elements and make their way to the auditorium. Normally, under such circumstances, no one would expect the entertainers to perform. All performance contracts contain an "Act of God" clause stating that if something out of human control occurs, the contract becomes null and void. The promoter was under no obligation to pay us for the date. Likewise, we had no obligation to go on stage. We were cold, tired and hungry. The endless miles on a narrow, snow-swept highway had taken their toll. But there was something in the eyes of those few fans who had shown up that told us how badly they wanted to hear the music they knew we could play if only we would. A small kitchen was off to the side of the auditorium, and the promoter offered to cook us some food. We warmed our hands by the steaming heat rising off a small group of antiquated radiator coils in the corner of the hallway and talked the situation over. There was certainly no place else for us to go. The entire town was held prisoner by the storm. Why not drink some coffee, fill our bellies and pick a little country music? Which is exactly what we did. I told the audience they'd better treat us real good, though, because we had 'em outnumbered. We gave them our time and our talents and, in return, they were more than generous to us with their applause. When our show was over, we stood around for a while and signed a few autographs and visited with the people. An elderly lady, wearing a heavy coat that had obviously kept her warm for many long winters, her head wrapped in a faded blue scarf, approached the stage where I was standing. "You don't know how much this evening has meant to me," she said, reaching up for my hand and looking deeply into my eyes. "Well, we've enjoyed it, too," I replied, smiling and giving her hand a slight squeeze. "My husband just passed away," she said sadly, lowering her head. "I haven't been out of the house since he died except to go to the grocery store and to church. I didn't really want to come here today, but my daughter insisted on bringing me. My husband and I had lots of your records, and we used to enjoy so much watching you on TV." I smiled and thanked her. "I'm so glad to get to meet you," she continued. "Thank you for playing and singing for such a small crowd. Today is the first time I've smiled since my husband died. Your music has helped me to forget my problems for a while." Okay, so entertainers don't cure cancer. But maybe, every once in a while, we cure some other things that are almost as important.

Whisperin' Bill Anderson (c) 1998
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"There is always one moment in childhood when the door opens and lets the future in."
Graham Greene
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TEN STEPS TO GOAL GETTING
by Zig Ziglar


These ten steps will help you achieve your goals in 2006.

1. Make the commitment to reach your goal. "One person with a commitment is worth a hundred who only have an interest." Mary Crowley.

2. Commit yourself to detailed accountability. Record your progress toward your goals every night, and list the six most important things you need to do the next day. Daily discipline is the key to reaching your goals.

3. Build your life on a sold foundation of honesty, character, integrity, trust, love, and loyalty. This foundation will give you an honest shot at reaching any goal you have set properly.

4. Break your intermediate and long-range goals into increments.

5. Be prepared to change. You can't control the weather, inflation, interest rates, Wall Street, etc. Change your decision to move toward a goal carefully--but be willing to change your direction to get there as conditions and circumstances demand.

6. Share your "give-up" goals (i.e., give up smoking, being rude, procrastinating, being late, eating too much, etc.) with many people. Chances are excellent they're going to encourage you.

7. Become a team player. Remember: You can have everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.

8. See the reaching. In your imagination see yourself receiving that diploma, getting that job or promotion, making that speech, moving into the home of your dreams, achieving that weight-loss goal, etc.

9. Each time you reach a goal your confidence will grow so that you can do bigger and better things. After accomplishing any goal, record it in your journal, Weekly Planner or Palm Pilot.

10. Remember, what you get by reaching your destination isn't nearly as important as what you become by reaching your goals--what you will become is the winner you were born to be!
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"Victory is sweetest when you've known defeat."
Malcolm Forbes

"It takes but one positive thought when given a chance to survive and thrive to overpower an entire army of negative thoughts."
Robert H. Schuller

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The Word That Made a Difference

How just one word of praise helped a shy student break through a mental block.

By Gary Smalley and John Trent

Sixth grade hadn’t been a banner year for Eric. Never very confident in school, he had a particular dread of mathematics. “A mental block,” one of the school’s counselors had told him. Then, as if a mental math block wasn’t enough for an eleven-year-old kid to deal with, he came down with measles in the fall and had to stay out of school for two weeks. By the time he got back, his classmates were multiplying fractions. Eric was still trying to figure out what you got when you put a half pie with three-quarters of a pie...besides a lot of pie. Eric’s teacher, Mrs. Gunther—loud, overweight, and terrifying—was unsympathetic. For the rest of the year she hounded him with ceaseless makeup assignments. When his mental block prevented his progress in fractions, she would thunder at him in front of the class, “I don’t care for your excuses! You’d better straighten up!”

The mental block, once the size of a backyard fence, now loomed like the Great Wall of China. Eric despaired of ever catching up, and even fell behind in subjects he’d been good at.

Then came the remarkable moment.

It happened in the middle of Mrs. Warwick’s ninth grade English class. To this day, some twenty-five years later, Eric still lights up as he recalls the Moment.

The fifth period class had been yawning through Mrs. Warwick’s attempts to spark discussion about a Mark Twain story. At some point in the lecture, something clicked in Eric’s mind. It was probably crazy, but it suddenly seemed like he understood something Twain had been driving at—something a little below the surface. Despite himself, Eric raised his hand and ventured an observation.

That led to the moment when Mrs. Warwick looked straight into Eric’s eyes, beamed with pleasure, and said, “Why, Eric...that was very perceptive of you!” Perceptive. Perceptive? Perceptive!

The word echoed in Eric’s thoughts for the rest of the day—and then for the rest of his life. Perceptive? Me? Well, yeah. I guess that WAS perceptive. Maybe I AM perceptive. One word, one little positive word dropped at the right moment somehow tipped the balance in a teenager’s view of himself—and possibly changed the course of his life, even though he still can’t multiply fractions.

Eric went on to pursue a career in journalism and eventually became a book editor, working successfully with some of the top authors in America.

Many teachers are well aware how praise motivates children. One teacher said she praised each student in her third grade class every day, without exception. Her students were the most motivated, encouraged, and enthusiastic in the school. I remember what happened when my high school geometry teacher began to affirm me regularly. Within six weeks my D average climbed to an A.

It’s wonderful when a teacher has the opportunity to inject a word of affirmation into a child’s life. It’s even better when that opportunity is seized. But perhaps the greatest honor of any teacher is seeing a child’s eyes light up when they discover something new about themselves and about the world around them. It’s what kindles their pride in being called “teacher.”

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The world is like a mirror; frown at it, and it frowns at you. Smile and it smiles, too.
Herbert Samuels

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The reason

When it seems too frustrating, tedious, difficult or uncomfortable, stop for a moment and give yourself time to remember. Stop for a moment and remember why you're doing it in the first place. When there's a meaningful reason behind what you're doing, then you'll be able to find the motivation and the energy to get it done. Connect yourself with that reason, and allow it to push you forward.

Because you have a reason, you have a very real stake in the outcome of your own efforts. Be sure to keep yourself connected to whatever that reason may be.

The discipline, persistence, commitment and effectiveness necessary to get the job done need substance to support and maintain them. They require a real and meaningful reason, a driving purpose, in order to thrive.

Whenever something starts to get you down, challenge yourself to remember why you're doing it. Remember why, and move ahead with a fresh, powerful, renewed sense of purpose.

Remember why, and you'll have what it takes to get it done.

Ralph Marston

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"Ordinary riches can be stolen: real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you."
Oscar Wilde