If you have knowledge, let others light their candles in it.

Margaret Fuller
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If and When Were Planted

By Catherine Pulsifer

How is "if and when" planted? The short stories below are examples of planting "if and when":

Karen, one of my coworkers was stressed about where she was living. She hated the apartment she was in and complained every day about it. One day over coffee, I asked her why she didn't look for another apartment - it seemed like an easy solution to me. Karen's reply to this was, "I will look for another apartment when I come back from vacation."

Sam hated his job. He dreaded getting up in the morning. He hated the work he was doing and it started to take a toll on him. He had a love for photography and was currently taking a two-year course to obtain his certificate. Every night he complained about his work. After listening to his complaints for a month, I asked him why he didn't finish his course and start a small business doing photography on the weekends. His reply, "if only I had more time to finish my course. When I finish my course I will start a business."

Sarah had saved all her life and now was retired and living comfortably. The house she bought had a dishwasher in it; however, the dishwasher was old and didn't work. She hated doing dishes, and every time we visited with her she complained about doing the dishes. One night, I asked her, "Why don't you buy a new dishwasher Sarah." Her reply, "I have been thinking about it, if they would only come on sale I would."

Larry worked for a company that allowed early retirement. Larry had both the years of service and his age, which allowed him to retire, but at a reduced pension. He was having difficulty coping with all the changes that were being made in his work. He had a couple of mild attacks, not a heart attack but similar to one. He called me and we talked for hours. I was worried about the stress of his job and the effects it was having on his health. "Why don't you retire Harry? Do something that you have always wanted to do," I asked. Harry's reply to my question was, "If only I was older then I would get my full pension." I got bolder in my conversation with him, "But Harry, you have your house paid off, you have no bills, the kids are grown up. You could sell your house and downsize, it really is not worth your health is it? Harry then said, "When the summer comes maybe I will."

All of these stories have the same theme running through them. There is a proverb that says it all: "If and when were planted, and nothing grew."

Now a year later, Karen is still living in the apartment she hates! Sam is still complaining about his job and still has not finished his course! Sarah is still washing dishes! Larry is still working and his health is not what it used to be!

The sad part of all of these stories is that all of these people had a lot of stress in their lives that they could have taken action to reduce. But, all of them defeated themselves by thinking "if" or "when". Life is too short for "if's and when's".

The next time you are in a stressful situation and you find yourself saying or thinking - "if or when" - remember the saying, "If and when were planted and nothing grew!" Change your thinking and take action, so that you can reduce your stress right now.

Quotes on procrastination:

"To be always intending to make a new and better life but never to find time to set about it is as...to put off eating and drinking and sleeping from one day to the next until you're dead." Og Mandino

"The two rules of procrastination: 1) Do it today. 2) Tomorrow will be today tomorrow." Author Unknown

"Someday is not a day of the week." Author Unknown

"Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week." Spanish Proverb
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"There is nothing like a dream to create the future."

Victor Hugo
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Patience and understanding Here's something to keep in mind as you go through this hectic day. The person who benefits most from your patience is you. Yes, you'll come across many people who are rude, annoying and self-centered. But does it really serve any positive purpose for you to sink to their depths of negativity?

Instead, take the opportunity to rise to a higher level of peacefulness and understanding. Take the opportunity to practice and strengthen your patience.

Patience and understanding will take you to places where anger, frustration, confusion and anxiety can never reach. Patience and understanding put you in a position of real power and effectiveness.

Practice patience, and you will build real strength. Live with patience and understanding, and a whole new world of valuable opportunities will open up to you.

There's nothing to be gained by reacting to rudeness and anxiety with more rudeness and anxiety of your own making. Respond instead with patience and understanding, and you'll make your world a much better place.

Ralph Marston
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"Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent."

Victor Hugo

Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one...
Eleanor Roosevelt
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THE POWER OF THREE LITTLE WORDS

Some of the most significant messages people deliver to one another often come in just three words. When spoken or conveyed, those statements have the power to forge new friendships, deepen old ones and restore relationships that have cooled.

The following three word phrases can enrich every relationship:

I'LL BE THERE - Being there for another person is the greatest gift we can give. When we are truly present for other people, important things happen to them and to us. We are renewed in love and friendship. We are restored emotionally and spiritually. 'Being there' is at the very, very core of civility.

I MISS YOU - Perhaps more marriages could be salvaged and strengthened if couples simply and sincerely said to each other, "I miss you." This powerful affirmation tells partners they are wanted, needed, desired and loved.

I RESPECT YOU - Respect is another way of showing love. Respect conveys the feeling that another person is a true equal. It is a powerful way to affirm the importance of a relationship.

MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT - This phrase is highly effective in diffusing an argument and restoring frayed emotions. The flip side of "maybe you're right" is the humility of admitting "maybe I'm wrong."

PLEASE FORGIVE ME - Many broken relationships could be restored and healed if people would admit their mistakes and ask for forgiveness. All of us are vulnerable to faults, foibles and failures. A man should never be ashamed to own up to he has been in the wrong, which is by saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.

I THANK YOU - Gratitude is an exquisite form of courtesy. People who enjoy the companionship of good, close friends are those who don't take daily courtesies for granted. They are quick to thank their friends for their many expressions of kindness. On the other hand, people whose circle of friends is severely constricted often do not have the attitude of gratitude.

COUNT ON ME - "A friend is one who walks in when others walk out." "Loyalty is an essential ingredient for true friendship; it is the emotional glue that bonds people. Those who are rich in their relationships tend to be steady and true friends. When troubles come, a good friend is there, indicating "you can count on me."

LET ME HELP - The best of friends see a need and try to fill it. When they spot a hurt they do what they can to heal it. Without being asked, they pitch in and help.

I UNDERSTAND YOU - People become closer and enjoy each other more if they feel the other person accepts and understands them. Letting others know in so many little ways that you understand him or her is one of the most powerful tools for healing your relationship.

GO FOR IT - Some of your friends may be non-conformists, have unique projects and unusual hobbies. Support them in pursuing their interests. Rather than urging your loved ones to conform, encourage their uniqueness - everyone has dreams that no one else has.

I suppose the 3 little words that you were expecting to see have to be reserved for those who are special; that is I LOVE YOU.

Author Unknown
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"The main thing in one's own private world is to try to laugh as much as you cry."

Maya Angelou
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FOLLOW YOUR BLISS

by Steve Goodier

Author Joseph Campbell often talked about "following your bliss." I heard of a bus driver in Chicago who does just that. He sings while he drives. That's right... sings! And I don't mean he sings softly to himself, either. He sings so that the whole bus can hear! All day long he drives and sings.

He was once interviewed on Chicago television. He said that he is not actually a bus driver. "I'm a professional singer," he asserted. "I only drive the bus to get a captive audience every single day.

His "bliss" is not driving a bus, though that may be a source of enjoyment for some people. His bliss is singing. And the supervisors at the Chicago Transit Authority are perfectly happy about the whole arrangement. You see, people line up to ride his bus. They even let other busses pass by so they can ride with the "singing bus driver." They love it!

Here is a man who believes he knows why he was put here on earth. For him, it is to make people happy. And the more he sings, the more people he makes happy! He has found a way to align his purpose in living with his occupation. By following his bliss, he is actually living the kind of life he believes he was meant to live.

Not everybody can identify a purpose in life. But when you do, and when you pursue it, you will be living the kind of life you feel you were meant to live. And what's more, you will be happy
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"Every great mistake has a halfway moment, a split second when it can be recalled and perhaps remedied."

Pearl S. Buck

"Life is so hard...unless you allow it to be easy… it will be whatever you expect it to be..."

Doug Firebaugh
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ACHIEVING SUCCESS BY EXPECTING SUCCESS

by Zig Ziglar

When you plan and prepare carefully, you can legitimately expect to have success in your efforts. When you recognize and develop the winning qualities that you were born with, the winner you were born to be emerges. When you plan and prepare to make a sale, for example, you can legitimately expect to make a sale. Although not all your expectations are going to come to pass, you give yourself an infinitely better chance of succeeding by taking the proper steps. Regardless of your goal--losing weight, making more sales, furthering your education, earning a promotion, saving money for a new home or an exotic vacation--you can expect to achieve your goal if you plan and prepare for it.

Also understand that the path from where you are to where you want to be is not always smooth and straight. The reason for the twists and bumps is simple, and it has nothing to do with you. It has more to do with the fact that not everyone is as interested in your success as you are. Some people may accidentally hinder your efforts; others who are in competition with you and have little or no integrity may try to sabotage your efforts.

Keep in mind, though, that when you hit those roadblocks your character, commitment, and attitude are the determining factors in your success... Carefully review your plan of action, seek wise counsel, and be particularly careful to feed your mind good information. An optimistic, positive mind is far more likely to come up with creative solutions than a mind that dwells on setbacks and difficulties.

Bottom line: expect success and you can achieve it!
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"Watch your manner of speech if you wish to develop a peaceful state of mind. Start each day by affirming peaceful, contented and happy attitudes and your days will tend to be pleasant and successful."

Norman Vincent Peale
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The positive side With every ending comes also a new beginning. With every disappointment comes a new opportunity for success. With every mistake comes a new and valuable lesson to be learned. With every setback comes a new position from which to move forward.

With every frustration comes the energy to move to a higher level of achievement. With every challenge comes a new strategy for taking action.

With every time of darkness comes the chance to make a real difference by shining your own special light. With every sadness comes a deeper appreciation for the joys that life can hold.

With every difficulty comes a new level of strength to be gained. With every loss comes an increased determination to win.

Though life has many pitfalls and problems, there is a positive side to every one of them. Choose to see and live that positive reality, and no problem will be a problem for long.

Ralph Marston
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"Don't join an easy crowd; you won't grow. Go where the expectations and the demands to perform are high."

Jim Rohn