"Problems are only opportunities in work clothes."

Henry J. Kaiser
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Desperate Housewife No More- 8 Ways To Take Back Your Life

Do you feel that you are living someone else's life? Do you want to feel good and positive about yourself and your life? These 8 simple steps will help you to break free of what is causing distress in your life.

Change Your Approach to Life.

What is controlling your life right now?

Are you controlled by your emotions, by your past experiences, or by your thoughts? The way you approach life is the way you will live your life. If you see your life as miserable and a failure, then that is the way you will live your life.

By allowing yourself to grow in resentment and regret each day, you are cheating yourself of a quality life. You were not destined to live a life of uncertainty and emotional distress. Your negative experiences and disappointing past is what keeps you in desperation and frustration. Start to see things as getting better rather than getting worse.

Start each day with a clean slate and with the determination to be at your best. Think about what's possible, not what's implausible. Stop complaining about what isn't right in your life and start to embrace what is good in your life. Don't look back at what you have missed out on and what you have lost; think about all you have to gain. Anticipate the best for your life, be clear on what you want in your life, and then start to create life changing strategies.

It's not easy to change your approach; it takes time and commitment to living a better life. On useful way to change your approach is to not put any expectations on the day and to incorporate a bright attitude in your day.

Be Responsible for Your Own Happiness

No one has the power to make you happy. You are responsible for your own happiness. Not your spouse, significant other, children, parents, therapists, life coach, friends, lover, job, career, business, etc. Your happiness depends on your beliefs and attitudes. You can't change the past or predict the future, so be content with what you have today.

Happiness feeds your spirits and helps you regain your passion for life. It is up to you to make the strides toward your happiness. If you are constantly dealing with difficult people, develop a plan that will help you keep your sanity when dealing with them. By living in sadness and depression, you are giving away your powers and letting someone or something else control you. If you find that your interactions with certain people control your mood, and then make the decision to control whether or not you will be affected by them.

You are in control of your thoughts and emotions. If you are blaming others for your state of unhappiness, ask yourself how are contributing to the problem too? Make a list of 25 things you can be happy about right now. Look over your list whenever you feel yourself giving in to self pity or sadness.

Let People Know How You Want to Be Treated

Don't expect your friends, family and colleague to know what you want. If you have needs that aren't being met, you must clearly communicate what you want. You have to let people know what is acceptable and what is not acceptable to you. Be firm with your boundaries and let people know when they have crossed the line.

Never assume because you wouldn't do something to someone that they wouldn't do it to you. When dealing with strong personalities, let them know in an assertive manner what is not acceptable to you. If you continue to let people disrespect you, then they will just assume that it is acceptable. Be honest with people about how their behavior makes you feel. Don't look for them to change right away, but at least by telling them you are giving the message that you have self-respect.

Stop Putting Up With People and Situations that You Have Outgrown.

What are you still tolerating that no longer works for you? Why are you still putting up with it?

Tolerators can become old reliable friends once we've had them for a while. Although you know that you need to make changes, you avoid doing so because you are so comfortable with the toleration. Getting rid of Tolerators requires you to be honest with yourself about what isn't working in your life and then you have to make the decision whether to change it or live with it. But what will it cost you in the long run?

After some time, this toleration will drain your energy and sap your enthusiasm for life. If you have been desensitizing yourself from what you are allowing in your life, you will deprive yourself of a fulfilling life. Take some time to write down what you are putting up with and create a plan to change it.

Stop Attracting Drama into Your Life

Do bad things seem to always happen to you? Do you attract unstable or difficult people and situations?

Yes, we all face problems in life, but if this is consistent for you, maybe it's time to look at what you are subconsciously attracting to yourself.

If you don't feel right unless there is some crisis or unforeseen circumstance in your life, maybe it's time to shift your focus. You will always have these situations in your life if you are always thinking, worrying or talking about them. Learn to trust your instincts. If something doesn't feel right to you, then don't do it. If you are being pressured or coerced into an uncomfortable situation, stand firm and decline to make any major decisions.

Set Realistic Expectations

If your husband or significant other is not romantic, then don't expect him to do something outrageously romantic on your birthday. If you place unrealistic expectations on people or situations, you set yourself up for disappointment.

Be realistic about what people can and cannot do. Don't expect people to live up to your dreams of what they should be like. Don't expect more than people can deliver. If you have idealized expectations on what your life should be like, you may be dissatisfied in the actual results.

Maintain Your Individuality

Are you giving up so much of yourself that you don't even know your true self anymore?

If you are living someone else's idea life, then you are not living a self actualized life. You cannot make people accept or love you based on who they want you to be. You must be yourself at all times.

What is great about you? What are your strengths, your natural gifts? The things that make you who you are can sometimes conflict with other people's expectations. Building your self awareness and knowing your self worth helps you to avoid the pitfall of losing your individuality. You don't want to look back on your life with regret or resentment because you gave up yourself for someone else. Don't make sacrifices that will compromise your individuality. Do what you love to do, find what you are passionate about and live your life with enthusiasm.

Get Help When You Need It

It's so much easier to live in denial than to admit that you need help. Sometimes life can seem overbearing and repeated setbacks can lead to sadness, anxiety and depression. Depression is a debilitating disease that progresses slowly and grows worse with time.

There is a difference between feeling blue occasionally and not having any energy to do the simple things in life. This is when you need to make the decision to get help. Your situation will not get any better by doing nothing about it. Realize that you have a serious problem and seek help. Don't try to handle it by yourself or make it go away.

© Copyright Marie Magdala Roker

All rights reserved.
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"When you've got something to prove, there's nothing greater than a challenge."

Terry Bradshaw
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Values "A crust eaten in peace is better than a banquet partaken in anxiety." - Aesop (BC)

Most of us go through life always wanting more and better. Being in this state of constant desire does not coexist with peace of mind. It is normal to want a better life for ourselves and our families, but we have to balance our goals with the cost. How much does this promotion, vacation, new purchase, cost in terms of real life? How many extra hours of stress and anxiety, now and later, go into getting it?

"The cost of a thing is the amount of what I call life, which is required to be exchanged for it immediately or in the long run." - Henry Thoreau (1817-1862)

Corporations and their advertisers are out to make money. Advertising is one-way communication persuading us to buy things we may not need or want. The good things in life are free, life itself, friendship, nature. Whatever we do possess, in the end we must leave it all behind.

"Do not overrate what you have received, nor envy others. He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind. The demon of worldly desires is always seeking chances to deceive the mind. If a viper lives in your room and you wish to have a peaceful sleep, you must first chase it out." - Buddha (BC)

More and more we are coming to falsely regard material gains as success and missing out on the true values of life. "Whoever does not regard what he has as most ample wealth, is unhappy though he be master of the world." - Epicurus (BC)

Money really is quite necessary in our life, but its value should not be worshiped. Being careful not to waste it will give us less to worry about, so "Beware of little expenses; a small leak will sink a great ship." - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)

Ken a McIsaac
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"When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure."

Peter Marshal

"Those who seek security are no longer employable."

Denis Waitley
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Catching the Tradewinds: A Journey Towards Purpose

(c)2000 - Julie Jordan Scott

When I was in high school I moved from the safe, comfortable town I was raised in, to a place completely across the country. There were hardly two towns as different as Glen Ridge, New Jersey and Dana Point, California.

All my life I had been raised by my Western Parents that New Jersey was unfriendly and cold. I was not at all prepared for the arctic tundra of the tropical beach community that awaited me. Beautiful in outward appearances, thats true! I will never forget my little fifteen year old spirit walking by the bench in front of school during registration.

"Hi!" I said brightly to the girl on the bench. ("Might she be someone to sit next to during lunch hour?" I hoped.) She looked right through me and mumbled a "hi" in return. I would write very optimistic and newsy letters to my Northeastern friends.

"Wow, I can see the beach from Dana Hills!" and "I rode a boogey board for the first time today." and "Did you know our school has a surf team and the teachers wear shorts?"

I would write long letters as I perched on a hillside, overlooking the ocean. I spent many afternoons there after school. The sun kissed my cheeks and the wind hugged my skin, keeping me cool. When it was really clear, I could see Catalina Island. Nonetheless, I grew to love my surroundings. I found a group of friends. I got a great tan, and even occassionally spoke with the trademark Southern California "fer sure". One thing I knew for certain. I did not want my life to be filled with people who looked past or through other people. I knew I wanted to be among people who did not just envelope themselves in beauty.

I wanted to be among people who knew what true beauty means. How it feels. How it smells. It is almost twenty years ago since I graduated from Dana Hills High School. Most of my classmates have no idea where I am. I have never attended any of my reunions. I have only kept in contact with one person. In my mind's eye, I can see myself, at 15, looking out over the serene Dana Point Harbor, with the words of Mark Twain dancing in my waking dreams. "Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do.

So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the tradewinds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." In the twenty years since I left Dana Point permanently, I have been many places. I have studied at the United Nations. I have interviewed countless PhD's and scholars. I have appeared on TV and radio. I have had two babies die. I have had two babies live. I have adopted a daughter. I have had a marriage fail. I have touched lives in ways only I could. I have discovered that within the darkest depths of despair, joy can be found.

And now, I am embarking on a new career. I am sailing away from my safe harbor. The sun is kissing my cheeks. The wind is hugging me. The tradewinds are pushing me, filling my sails. I am exploring. I am dreaming. I am discovering. And I am coming alongside others, encouraging them as they throw off their bowlines. As they sail away from their safe, comfy harbors. Is the sun kissing your cheeks? Is the wind hugging your skin? Explore! Dream! Discover!

Julie Jordan Scott
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"What activities, behaviors, or decisions have been most responsible for your success in life? Do more of them."

Brian Tracy
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Faith

Faith: complete trust, unquestioning confidence, strong belief.

Have faith in yourself, your family, your friends, your God. "Have faith, hope, and charity. That's the way to live successfully." - Early 50's song

Believe in yourself, a unique individual having personal preferences and talents. Have a deep belief that events will unfold as you really desire and believe they will. This has a very strong and positive influence on your performance. It is just the opposite of feeling anxious and worried that you will fail. This is not a guarantee, but an excellent advantage working in your favor, available for every occasion and for life itself.

"A man of courage is also full of faith." Marcus Cicero (BC) "It's faith in something and enthusiasm for something that makes life worth living." - Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809-1894)

Faith is of special importance to us when we are down. It picks us up and prepares us for the next events in our lives. "Sometimes a noble failure serves the world as faithfully as a distinguished success." - Edward Dowden (1843-1913)

Believe in your fellow human beings, special people with special characteristics. Live by the golden rule, expressed in many different cultures and religions, it is basically - Treat others the way you would like to be treated. A time proven way to feel better.

"Religion gives me a new zest for life, it gives me faith, hope, and courage. It banishes tensions, anxieties, fears, and worries. It gives purpose to my life - and direction." - William James (1842-1910)

Ken N McIsaac
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"Your work should be a challenge, not a chore; a blessing, not a bore."

Hal Stewins

"I don't judge companies by the CEO or people who fly in the corporate jets, I judge a company by the real people the ones who answer the phone and carry your bags."

Patricia Fripp
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BROKEN EGGS AND SHATTERED GLASS . . . with my sincere thanks to those late night pranksters! September 12, 2005

On a recent Saturday evening at around midnight, my wife and I were just about to turn out the light and go to sleep when we heard the sounds of a group of people talking in the street, outside our home. Then out of the blue came two loud thuds above our bedroom window, followed by the noise of laughter and people running away down our street.

We both jumped out of bed, I turned on the external lights and rushed outside unsure of what had caused the two thuds or what damage I could expect to see. The silence of the night was broken by the distant sound of people laughing and at that moment I was of a mind to chase after them, however, running bare-footed on the road in the dark is not a very wise thing to do.

I could hear dripping noises on the driveway and the flood light above our garage helped me to identify just what had happened. Our home had been the victim of an egg bombing!

Being faced with the prospect of cleaning up this sticky mess in the early hours of the morning was not a pleasing thought, on top of which I was less than impressed that we had been singled out for this annoying prank. I decided that it was too late to clean up the mess, as it would disturb our neighbours, so it could wait to the morning.

Early next morning with a bucket of warm water and scrubbing brush in hand, and with the extension ladder placed on the front wall, I was now ready to wash off what was now two dry yellowish, egg grit impregnated, 1 metre long patches above our front bedroom windows.

My task was made even more challenging by the two large canvas awnings which protect our bedroom windows from the heat and glare of the afternoon sun. My annoyance with the late night pranksters was again building to the level of the night before.

After retracting each of the awnings, something we rarely do except when there is are very high winds, I then climbed the ladder to clean up the first patch of egg stain and then move the ladder to clean the second patch. As I climbed the ladder for the second time, I noticed that the glass in a small window just under the roof line was very badly cracked. On closer inspection the crack ran around over half of the outer edge of the window pane. As the awning protected the window, it was clear to me that the damage had not been caused by the egg bombing. As I carefully placed my hand on the glass, I discovered that the pane of glass was very loose and had the window been closed with any force, it would have most likely shattered and the glass dropped to the drive way, some seven metres below.

Just a few metres away, we have a basketball ring and on most days of the week there are up to six young people who play in the immediate area, including both my sons. My thoughts immediately turned to what could have happened if the broken glass in the window had gone undetected for much longer and then suddenly shattered. The likelihood of my two sons and their friends being seriously injured was extremely high.

After quickly washing the remaining egg stain off the front wall and with the help of Tom, my youngest son, I got to work with some heavy duty masking tape and secured the cracked window as best I could. Within 24 hours the cracked window had been replaced and all was back to normal, except for the small bits of egg shell I kept finding on the front drive way and stuck to our garage doors.

Over the next few days, I realized that had our home not been bombarded by those eggs late on that Saturday night, I may not have discovered the broken window pane before it shattered and came down all over our drive way.

Even though it had been an annoyance at time, the broken eggs and the stains were cleaned up very quickly, however, the pain that could have been caused by the shattering of glass would never gone away and would have haunted my wife and myself, forever and a day.

The cold shudder that ran down my spine when I first discovered the cracked window and the thought about the consequences of someone being seriously injured or even killed, made me realise just how very lucky we had been.

Frequently in life, the small things that happen to us may have a negative impact and cause some form of pain, sadness, discomfort or personal aggravation. It is often said that we should not 'sweat the small stuff' and always look for the positive outcome or the silver lining in those dark clouds of the current circumstance, even though at the time that is not always an easy thing to do.

My personal experience with the egg bombing on that Saturday evening reminded me that in most cases there is always a flip side to everything that happens to us and that often the flip side can provide a positive outcome or an even greater benefit, if not now, then at some time in the future.

From now on whenever I see or break an egg, I will think of the egg bombing incident and say a thank you to those late night pranksters. Equally, I will always be reminded of Jean-Paul Sartre's quote:

'What is important is not what happens to us, but how we respond to what happens to us'

by Keith Ready
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"Major Clue for employee -- Poor attitude can come from places other than work. Major Clue for employer -- You can't change people's home life, but it's to every employers best advantage to make the atmosphere inside the workplace a fun one."

Jeffrey Gitomer
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The Valley

The valley is a sacred place. Each and every valley in life is sacred and with awesome purpose. Trust that.

The valley asks us to walk by faith and not by sight.

The valley is a place of spiritual wonder and spiritual renewal. It is a detour that gives great direction in its own time if and when we trust it.

Peaks and valleys are a part of life. Ups and downs that flow naturally from all that means to be a human being in this very troubled and complicated world of ours.

The valley of any and all your experiences seeks to teach you. You are not abandoned in the valleys of life. You are being up-held and so gently and lovingly spiritually directed to learn what it is that you need to know to go forward and fulfill your purpose in this life.

The valley asks us to walk by faith and not by sight.

The valley may seem to be taking from you but the valley is asking you to grieve what you need to so that you can make room for all that is yet to be in your life according to your destined purpose.

Each and every valley in your life is sacred part of your life's journey.

The valley is a soulful place of transformation, change, redemption and renewal. The valley is a part of our journeys many times over in our lives. It is not a place to stay, however.

The valley is a guided pathway that takes us into the deep crevasses of self so that we can continue to grow, change, and heal.

Anyone who chooses to stay in the valley of soul, the valley of self, will not be able to get over the hill.

There are many hills we must climb as we grow and stretch and unstep each valley.

The valley asks us to walk by faith and not by sight.

Copyright (C) 2005 Ms. A.J. Mahari (soulselfhelp@rogers.com) (www.soulselfhelp.on.ca) All rights reserved.

"Whatever your problem, define it clearly in writing before attempting to solve it."
Brian Tracy
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PERSISTENCE

by Bob Proctor


If you were to choose just one part of your personality to develop that would virtually guarantee your success, I'd like to suggest that you place persistence at the top of your list.

Napoleon Hill, in his classic Think and Grow Rich felt so strongly about this subject, he devoted an entire chapter to it. Hill suggested, "There may be no heroic connotation to the word persistence but the quality is to your character what carbon is to steel."

Think about it. If you took a quick mental walk down memory lane and reviewed some of your accomplishments in the past – large and small – you would have to agree that persistence played an important role in your success.

Napoleon Hill studied many of the world's most successful people. He pointed out the only quality he could find in Henry Ford, Thomas Edison or a host of other notable greats that he could not find in everyone else was persistence. What I found even more intriguing was the fact that Hill made comment of the fact that these individuals were often misunderstood to be ruthless or cold-blooded and that this misconception grew out of their habit of following through in all of their plans with persistence.

It's both interesting and sadly amusing to me that, as a society, we would be quick to criticize people for realizing they had an unshakeable power within them and were capable of overcoming any obstacle outside of them. This power would ultimately move them toward a greater chance of achieving any goal they set for themselves!

Milt Campbell is a good friend of mine. He and I have shared many hours together discussing the very topic of persistence. Milt was a Decathlete in the Olympic Games held in Helsinki, Finland in 1952. His goal was to capture gold for the US. Unfortunately, another fierce competitor who had taken home the gold four years previous in London wasn't satisfied with one gold, Bob Mathias wanted two; Milt had to settle for silver. That did not deter Milt one bit. He had formed the habit of persistence and four years later in Melbourne, Australia, Milt won the gold medal, earning him the title of the greatest athlete in the world.

On numerous occasions Milt has said, "There were many guys in school who were far better athletes than me, but they quit." I can recount story after story about individuals who overcame obstacles so great, but only did so because they dared persist. These individuals are no different than you and I.

Ultimately persistence becomes a way of life, but that is not where it begins. To develop the mental strength – persistence - you must first want something. You have to 'Want' something so much that it becomes a heated desire... a passion in your belly. You must fall in love with that idea. Yes, literally fall in love with the idea and magnetize yourself to every part of the idea. At that point, persistence will be virtually automatic.

Persistence is a subject I have studied all of my adult life and I can tell you one thing I know for certain: very few people ever, mentally or verbally, say to themselves... this is what I really want and I am prepared to give my life for it, and thus, they never develop the persistence to achieve it.

Persistence is a unique mental strength; a strength that is essential to combat the fierce power of the repeated rejections and numerous other obstacles that sit in waiting and are all part of winning in a fast-moving, ever-changing world. As Napoleon Hill found out, there are hundreds of highly successful men and women who have cut a path for others to follow, while leaving their mark on the scrolls of history … and every one of these great individuals was persistent. In many cases it was the only quality that separated them from everyone else.

It is generally believed that a lack of persistence is a consequence of a weak willpower. That is not true. A person could have a highly evolved willpower and still lack the persistence required to keep moving forward in life. In more cases than not, if a person lacks persistence, they do not have a goal that is worthy of them, a desirable goal that excites them to their very core.

Though willpower is important in moving a person toward their goal, if there is ever a war between the will and the imagination, the imagination will win every time. What that means is: you're powered by desire and fuelled by the dream you hold. Once you start to use your imagination to help you build a bigger picture of your dream, to define and refine it until you get it just right in your mind, the emotion that is triggered by that desire far outweighs any force that may be caused by sheer will alone. I am not suggesting the will does not have to be developed, it does. It must become highly developed in order to direct you toward the image with which you are emotionally involved.

Your intellectual factors hold the potential for enormous good when they are properly employed. However, you must remember that everything has an opposite and any of your intellectual factors can turn, without warning, into destructive lethal enemies when they are directed toward results that are not wanted. It is easy to find individuals who are persistently doing what they don't want to do and achieving results that they do not want. A lack of persistence is not their problem; that person is persisting to their own detriment. Ignorance and paradigms are the enemy that we must defeat. Everyone is persistent. Our objective must be to put persistence to work for us rather than against us.

Vision and desire have to be the focus of your attention if you're going to develop persistence into the great ally it can become.

Another excellent example of persistence was demonstrated when, in 1953, a beekeeper from Auckland, N.Z., Edmund Hillary and his native guide, Tenzing Norguay, became the first two people to climb Mt. Everest and return, after having tried and failed the two previous years.

Hillary had two obvious character strengths that took him to the very top — vision and desire. Even despite the seemingly insurmountable challenges, he had no trouble persisting with the strenuous acts that were required because every act was hooked into the image of him standing on top of the mountain. They were expressed because of his persistence, but he was persistent because he was emotionally involved with the image. Without persistence, all his skills would have meant nothing.

Persistence is an expression of the mental strength that is essential in almost every profession, where repeated rejection and obstacles are part of a daily routine.

In closing, let me give you four relatively simple steps that will help you to turn persistence into a habit. These steps can be followed by virtually anyone.

1. Have a clearly defined goal. The goal must be something you are emotionally involved with, something you want very much. (In the beginning, you may not even believe that you can accomplish it—the belief will come.)

2. Have a clearly established plan that you can begin working on immediately. (Your plan will very likely only cover the first and possibly the second stage of the journey to your goal. As you begin executing your plan, other steps required to complete your journey will be revealed at the right time.)

3. Make an irrevocable decision to reject any and all negative suggestions that come from friends, relatives or neighbors. Do not give any conscious attention to conditions or circumstances that appear to indicate the goal cannot be accomplished.

4. Establish a mastermind group of one or more people who will encourage, support and assist you wherever possible.

What do you dream of doing with your life? Do it. Begin right now and never quit. There is greatness in you. Let it out. Be persistent.
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"When you know clearly what you want, you'll wake up every morning excited about life."
Mark Victor Hansen
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GROWING WISE

It's almost my birthday, again. The big twenty-nine - another year and I'll be thirty, halfway to sixty. That's a pessimistic way of looking at it! I've been thinking a lot over the last couple of years about experiences I've had, and have come to realize that there are more times than not when I've backed out of the idea of trying something new, through fear of the unknown.

I have a housemate who is my age and unemployed, and quite happy to spend his days and months hunched over his desk in a darkened room playing computer games. He's "trying to find himself", or so he tells me.

I've spent a lot of time over the years burying myself away in night-shift work, and reading books, to avoid the outside world. I want change in my life, and it's something which is happening - slowly - but I'm learning that unless you take courage, and make yourself get out there to experience new things, life will quite happily pass you by, and leave you nothing to show for the years lost besides a memory made of ashes.

It's a depressing thought, but there's one solution to all this: know that unless you try something, you'll never know what might have been. Think about what you want from life, and then have faith that with some work, and a little patience, things usually always have a habit of working out for the better. Some people never take that first step towards making change happen - if you've done so, you're already a winner!

Copyright © 2004 David Wyatt
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"What we see depends mainly on what we look for."
John Lubbock

"Don't read a book and be a follower; read a book and be a student."

Jim Rohn
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FACING THE ENEMIES WITHIN

by Jim Rohn

We are not born with courage, but neither are we born with fear. Maybe some of our fears are brought on by your own experiences, by what someone has told you, by what you've read in the papers. Some fears are valid, like walking alone in a bad part of town at two o'clock in the morning. But once you learn to avoid that situation, you won't need to live in fear of it.

Fears, even the most basic ones, can totally destroy our ambitions. Fear can destroy fortunes. Fear can destroy relationships. Fear, if left unchecked, can destroy our lives. Fear is one of the many enemies lurking inside us.

Let me tell you about five of the other enemies we face from within. The first enemy that you've got to destroy before it destroys you is indifference. What a tragic disease this is. "Ho-hum, let it slide. I'll just drift along." Here's one problem with drifting: you can't drift your way to the top of the mountain.

The second enemy we face is indecision. Indecision is the thief of opportunity and enterprise. It will steal your chances for a better future. Take a sword to this enemy.

The third enemy inside is doubt. Sure, there's room for healthy skepticism. You can't believe everything. But you also can't let doubt take over. Many people doubt the past, doubt the future, doubt each other, doubt the government, doubt the possibilities and doubt the opportunities. Worse of all, they doubt themselves. I'm telling you, doubt will destroy your life and your chances of success. It will empty both your bank account and your heart. Doubt is an enemy. Go after it. Get rid of it.

The fourth enemy within is worry. We've all got to worry some. Just don't let it conquer you. Instead, let it alarm you. Worry can be useful. If you step off the curb in New York City and a taxi is coming, you've got to worry. But you can't let worry loose like a mad dog that drives you into a small corner. Here's what you've got to do with your worries: drive them into a small corner. Whatever is out to get you, you've got to get it. Whatever is pushing on you, you've got to push back.

The fifth interior enemy is over-caution. It is the timid approach to life. Timidity is not a virtue (unlike humility – they are different); in fact, it can be an illness. If you let it go, it'll conquer you. Timid people don't get promoted. They don't advance and grow and become powerful in the marketplace. You've got to avoid over-caution.

Do battle with the enemy. Do battle with your fears. Build your courage to fight what's holding you back, what's keeping you from your goals and dreams. Be courageous in your life and in your pursuit of the things you want and the person you want to become.

To Your Success,

Jim Rohn
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"Read something positive every night and listen to something helpful every morning."

Tom Hopkins
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Self-esteem

The lack of self-esteem is common in our society. It can hold back our progress, put us under extreme stress, and make us feel generally bad about life. It may have been building inside us for many years with the aid of bad thinking, but bad thinking can be replaced with good thinking.

"A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms against himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it." - Alexandre Dumas (1802-1870)

First of all, be yourself! It is much better to be you than an imitation of someone else. We should accept that we are just human beings and forget trying to be perfect in the eyes of others. If there were no room for us who are not superstars, it would be a very empty world.

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." - Henry Thoreau (1817-1862)

"The finest lives, in my opinion, are those who rank in the common model, and with the human race, but without miracle, without extravagance." - Michel de Montaigne (1553-1592)

Whenever self-doubt creeps in, quickly replace your thoughts with a good image of yourself and your actions. "Drag your thought away from your troubles . . . by the ears, by the heels or any other way you can manage it. It's the healthiest thing a body can do." - Mark Twain (1835-1910)

Speaking out can be one of the most difficult things to do when bogged down with self-doubt. Some things to consider trying - Stop criticizing yourself. Don't be too careful about what you are going to say - just say it - the heck with it! Don't be too critical of others, and let anyone and everyone know that you feel friendly toward them.

"It is never so difficult to speak as when we are ashamed of our silence." - La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680)

Ken N McIsaac
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"The things I want to know are in books; my best friend is the man who'll get me a book I ain't read."

Abraham Lincoln

Just a quick thank you to all for your prayers for my dad. His stroke was pretty severe, and while we have seen some progress, it will be a long road to get the "old Jerr" back. He is a big guy, and has always had mobility issues, but he is sharp as a tack, and that's what we are praying comes back! Nothing can prepare you in watching a parent stuggle with this, so prayers are the best thing for him!
I am home now, so these posts should become more frequent. Thank you again to all of you.
sheri

A wonderful realization will be the day you realize that you are unique in all the world. There is nothing that is an accident. You are a special combination for a purpose and don't let them tell you otherwise, even if they tell you that purpose is an illusion. You are that combination so that you can do what is essential for you to do. Don't ever believe that you have nothing to contribute. The world is an incredible unfulfilled tapestry. And only you can fulfill that tiny space that is yours.
Leo Buscaglia
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An Educated Mind

In Tom Russell's, "SuperWisdom Ezine", http://www.superwisdom.com, he quotes the ancient Greek philosopher, Aristotle, who said, "It is the mark of the educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."

This is also great practice when it comes to mastering the art of positive persuasion. Why? Because, in persuasively communicating your point of view (remember, there is a big difference between "convincing" someone and "persuading" them. Typically, convincing does not move a person toward action - at least not the action you want but, instead, makes them more determined to stay with their current opinion. Persuasion, on the other hand, moves them to take the action you desire) you first must understand their point of view.

This does not mean you agree with it. But, in order for them to understand your view, they must first be - and actually feel - understood by you. This, of course, is the basis of Dr. Stephen Covey's 5th Habit from his book, "The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People", http://www.amazon.com ; "Seek first to understand, then to be understood."

However, entertaining someone's point of view that, by its very nature, disagrees with yours is much easier said than done. As human beings, we have a natural tendency to dismiss a foreign thought as, just that....foreign, and as having no credibility. This is due largely to our "Belief System" or - as Don Miguel Ruiz calls it, in his fantastic book, "The Four Agreements", http://www.amazon.com - our "Agreements" that we've unconsciously taken on due to circumstances of birth, environment and experiences throughout our lives.

How do we "train" ourselves then, in this somewhat challenging area, to be able to entertain a thought not typically in alignment with ours, without either dismissing it outright and/or without buying into it completely?

One method I use is to purposely read a book written by someone with whom I am prone to disagree. For me, this is easy to do with many politically-based books currently on the market but, depending upon your interests, you'll want to read books in other genres.

What I'll do is take a thought espoused by the author, and dissect it. I'll bend it, twist it, turn it, and look at it from as many different views as possible, playing both advocate (I'll ask myself what it is about the idea I like) and opposer.

Try this exercise and you'll see that the next time you're in a debate or disagreement with a person, you can utilize this same process to entertain their thought or idea without necessarily having to buy into it and without summarily dismissing it. Once the other person can tell that you had enough respect for them to at least entertain their idea, they will be a lot more likely to entertain yours....and hopefully buy into it, as well. Assuming, of course, that your idea is a win/win, which I'm sure it will be.

Bob Burg
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"In this world, you must be a bit too kind to be kind enough."
Pierre Carlet de Chamblain de Marivaux
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Boundaries

Boundaries keep us safe. Boundaries are functional limits that enable us to understand ourselves and others better.


Boundaries are often very challenging. They are challenging to identify and even more difficult, often, to up-hold especially during stressful moments.


Knowing what you need and want and don't need and don't want is at the centre of learning to identify the boundaries that you may need.


Learning to be respectful of yourself and others is central to learning how to respect the boundaries of others.


For some boundaries are brick walls. Wall that usually wall them in while they serve to keep others out. This is a lonely isolated place to be. It is a place of great protection and great loss.


The ideal is to develop flexible boundaries that can be adapted to your needs as situations and trust levels change. Life is about flow and flux. Boundaries that can be raised when needed and somewhat lowered when appropriate make for the most functional living.


Boundaries are a major vehicle of self-care and of healthy living.


For many who have had pasts that have made it difficult to understand how to identify needs, learning to set these healthy limits is not easy. Learning to develop and then up-hold boundaries for yourself takes conscious effort and work and is often a goal in getting therapy.


Boundaries are limits. Boundaries keep you separate as an entity from others. Knowing where you begin and end and anyone else begins is necessary to healthy relating.

Copyright (C) 2005 Ms. A.J. Mahari
(soulselfhelp@rogers.com)
(www.soulselfhelp.on.ca)
All rights reserved.
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"It is always with excitement that I wake up in the morning wondering what my intuition will toss up to me, like gifts from the sea. I work with it and rely on it. It's my partner."
Jonas Salk

Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage - to move in the opposite direction.

E.F. Schumacker
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A Child's Advice to His Parents

My hands are small. Please don't expect perfection whenever I make a bed, draw a picture, or throw a ball.

My eyes have not seen the world as yours have. Please let me explore it at my own level without unnecessary restrictions.

Housework will always be there, but I will be little only for a short time. Please take time to explain about this wonderful world.

My feelings are tender. Please be sensitive to my needs. Treat me as you would like to be treated.

I am a special gift from God. Treasure me as God intended, holding me accountable for my actions, giving me guidelines to live by, and disciplining me in a loving manner.

I need your encouragement to grow, so go easy on the criticism. Try to correct my behavior without criticizing me as a person.

Give me the freedom to make decisions. Permit me to fail, so I can learn from my mistakes. Then I'll be prepared to make the kind of decisions life requires of me as an adult.

Don't do jobs over that I have done. This makes me feel that my efforts don't quite measure up to your expectations. I know it's hard, but please don't compare me with my brother or sister.

Please don't be afraid to leave for a weekend together. Kids need vacations from parents, just as parents need to get away occasionally. This is also a great way to show us kids that your marriage is very special.

Please set a good example by taking me to church and religious education class regularly. I enjoy learning more about God.

~author unknown~
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Be content with what you have, rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.

Lao Tzu
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MANNERS by Zig Ziglar

Today, we too rarely practice good manners... When we neglect to require our children to say "thank you" when someone gives them a gift or does something for them, we are raising ungrateful children who are highly unlikely to be happy. Without gratitude, happiness is a rare thing. With gratitude, the odds go up dramatically that happiness will be the result.

A classic example of the validity of gratitude in action is the story of Roy Rogers. After he started in his first movie, he began receiving huge stacks of fan mail that he wanted to answer. However, his salary of $150 a week did not even cover the required postage. He talked to the head of Republic Pictures in the hope that the studio would handle some of his fan mail. He was summarily turned down and told he was foolish to think about answering fan mail because nobody else did. It took too much time and money.

Roy Rogers, one of the genuinely good guys of life, couldn't buy that. It was his conviction that if someone thought enough about him to write a letter, he should have enough respect for the person to answer it. Fortunately, the movie that caused him his "problem" also made him so popular that he could go on a personal appearance tour. He traveled many miles and performed countless one-night stands to raise the money to pay the salaries of the four people it took to answer his fan mail.

As a result of answering fan mail, he built a fan base that was faithful to him and remained faithful to him many, many years later. Yup, the good guys and the good gals really do win. So, develop some manners, respect others, and be grateful for what you have.

See you at the Top!

Zig Ziglar
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Simplicity is my hallmark, so keep life simple. Keep in constant contact with Me and watch yourself unfold in My love.

Eileen Caddy, Spiritual guide and author