Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.

Harold Whitman
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Reaping A Multiple Reward

by Jim Rohn

For every disciplined effort, there are multiple rewards. That’s one of life’s great arrangements. In fact, it’s an extension of the Biblical law that says that if you sow well, you will reap well.

Here’s a unique part of the Law of Sowing and Reaping. Not only does it suggest that we’ll all reap what we’ve sown, it also suggests that we’ll reap much more. Life is full of laws that both govern and explain behaviors, but this may well be the major law we need to understand: for every disciplined effort, there are multiple rewards.

What a concept! If you render unique service, your reward will be multiplied. If you’re fair and honest and patient with others, your reward will be multiplied. If you give more than you expect to receive, your reward is more than you expect. But remember: the key word here, as you might well imagine, is discipline.

Everything of value requires care, attention, and discipline. Our thoughts require discipline. We must consistently determine our inner boundaries and our codes of conduct, or our thoughts will be confused. And if our thoughts are confused, we will become hopelessly lost in the maze of life. Confused thoughts produce confused results.

Remember the law: "For every disciplined effort, there are multiple rewards." Learn the discipline of writing a card or a letter to a friend. Learn the discipline of paying your bills on time, arriving to appointments on time, or using your time more effectively. Learn the discipline of paying attention, or paying your taxes or paying yourself. Learn the discipline of having regular meetings with your associates, or your spouse, or your child, or your parent. Learn the discipline of learning all you can learn, of teaching all you can teach, of reading all you can read.

For each discipline, multiple rewards. For each book, new knowledge. For each success, new ambition. For each challenge, new understanding. For each failure, new determination. Life is like that. Even the bad experiences of life provide their own special contribution. But a word of caution here for those who neglect the need for care and attention to life’s disciplines: everything has its price. Everything affects everything else. Neglect discipline, and there will be a price to pay. All things of value can be taken for granted with the passing of time.

That’s what we call the Law of Familiarity. Without the discipline of paying constant, daily attention, we take things for granted. Be serious. Life’s not a practice session.

If you’re often inclined to toss your clothes onto the chair rather than hanging them in the closet, be careful. It could suggest a lack of discipline. And remember, a lack of discipline in the small areas of life can cost you heavily in the more important areas of life. You cannot clean up your company until you learn the discipline of cleaning your own garage. You cannot be impatient with your children and be patient with your distributors or your employees. You cannot inspire others to sell more when that goal is inconsistent with your own conduct. You cannot admonish others to read good books when you don’t have a library card.

Think about your life at this moment. What areas need attention right now? Perhaps you’ve had a disagreement with someone you love or someone who loves you, and your anger won’t allow you to speak to that person. Wouldn’t this be an ideal time to examine your need for a new discipline? Perhaps you’re on the brink of giving up, or starting over, or starting out. And the only missing ingredient to your incredible success story in the future is a new and self-imposed discipline that will make you try harder and work more intensely than you ever thought you could.

The most valuable form of discipline is the one that you impose upon yourself. Don’t wait for things to deteriorate so drastically that someone else must impose discipline in your life. Wouldn’t that be tragic? How could you possibly explain the fact that someone else thought more of you than you thought of yourself? That they forced you to get up early and get out into the marketplace when you would have been content to let success go to someone else who cared more about themselves.

Your life, my life, the life of each one of us is going to serve as either a warning or an example. A warning of the consequences of neglect, self-pity, lack of direction and ambition…or an example of talent put to use, of discipline self-imposed, and of objectives clearly perceived and intensely pursued.

To Your Success, Jim Rohn
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For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks; the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.

Rainer Maria Rilke
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Coaching for Character

Michael Josephson

I've spent lots of time with some of the world's most successful coaches. I discovered that many of them think about character a lot, especially traits that are important to winning—like self-discipline, perseverance, resiliency and courage. They pay less attention to virtues like honesty, integrity, responsibility, compassion, respect and fairness—aspects of character that make a good person, citizen, spouse or parent.

The problem is that even at the amateur level, many coaches are hired and paid to win, not to build character. Unless it interferes with performance, to worry about the kind of person an athlete is off the field is a waste of time.

Coaches who seek to hone the mental and physical skills of winning while ignoring moral virtues of honor and decency too often produce magnificent competitors who are menaces to society.

Perhaps coaches of elite athletes not connected with educational or youth-serving institutions can operate in this moral vacuum, but all others have a responsibility to teach, enforce, advocate and model all aspects of good character including trustworthiness, respect, responsibility, fairness, caring and citizenship.

Whether it's sports, business or politics, whenever we divorce issues of competence from issues of character, we create a class of amoral professionals who think they're exempt from common standards of honor and decency. This discredits and demeans the moral standing of everyone involved.
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An excuse is worse and more terrible than a lie, for an excuse is a lie guarded.

Pope John Paul II

"The most splendid achievement of all is in the constant striving to surpass yourself and to be worthy of your own approval."

Denis Waitley
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Not Help; "Advice"

In Joe Tye's book, "Personal Best: 1001 Great Ideas for Achieving Success in Your Career" <http://www.johnwiley.com>, he quotes William Moran and James Cabrera. In their book, "Parting Company" <http://www.amazon.com>, they advise, "Never ask for a job; always ask for suggestions. Don't ask for favors; ask for advice."

Although, in this case, the authors are referring to those with whom one is networking in order to find a job, their suggestion holds for most other areas of wwi, as well. When you need help from someone, anyone, and that person is not obligated to help you (nor do you know at this point whether they are even interested in such), you'll find that asking for advice instead of a favor/direct help is often an excellent way to acquire both.

When I was just a few years into my speaking business there was one particular company I very much wanted as a client. I was constantly frustrated in my attempts to reach a decision-maker because, in this case, the company was so large, it was extremely difficult to even find out who it was; not to mention knowing the correct approach.

Eventually, I learned of a person in a different field who had them as a client. I knew him only indirectly, and (based on several factors) felt that to ask him *directly* for help via a referral or personal introduction would be inappropriate at that time.

Instead, I asked him for advice. I said, "Tom, I understand that 'XYZ' company is a client of yours. I've been trying to get them as a client for some time now, with no success. First, please know that I am absolutely not asking you for a referral. I'm just wondering if you could give me some advice on how to go about learning who to contact in the first place and the best way to reach that person."

Well, Tom did much more than that. He actually introduced me to the decision-maker by way of a telephone call, and that company became a huge client of mine for several years. I truly believe that had I come right out and asked Tom for help, he would have found that to be presumptuous and resisted. But, since I merely asked for advice, he was all too happy to take the next step. Again, this works in all types of situations and, in my opinion, for two main reasons.

One is that people don't mind being asked for and giving advice but don't necessarily enjoy being asked to hand over the fruits of their years of hard work. The second reason is that being asked feels good. Most people enjoy feeling as though they might make a difference in someone's life so, when someone humbly asks for advice, they're only too happy to provide it.

Note: There are times when coming right out and asking for direct help is totally appropriate. The above situation just didn't happen to be one of those times. If you feel that is the case, then simply ask for advice.

Bob Burg
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"Successful people begin where failures leave off. Never settle for 'just getting the job done.' Excel!"

Tom Hopkins
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A purpose that is you

With a clear and meaningful purpose will come the motivation and the energy to follow that purpose. When you're sure of the what and the why, you'll find everything necessary to handle the how.

Do you have trouble staying motivated, or keeping yourself focused, or following through on your commitments? With a compelling purpose, those troubles disappear.

Are you worried and anxious about how you'll do what you need to do? With a deep sense of purpose, those worries and anxieties give way to valuable, positive ideas and effective action.

There is a purpose, there is a why, that can bring every aspect of your life to higher and higher levels of performance and experience. You've glimpsed that purpose in moments of pure joy, those times when everything in life just seemed to be flowing perfectly.

Dive deep into who you are and connect yourself to a purpose that is uniquely and overwhelmingly you. Seek to know and live a purpose so positive, powerful and compelling that you cannot let go of it.

Already you have seen bits and pieces of that purpose at times, even if somewhat dimly. Just imagine what you could do if you were to include that powerful purpose in every moment.

Imagine it, and then let yourself make it so. Your highest and best purpose is ready to be lived.

Ralph Marston
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My grandfather once told me that there were two kinds of people: those who do the work and those who take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group; there was much less competition.

Indira Gandhi
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BEING YOURSELF, BECOMING REAL

" Your goal is to find out Who You Are." --- A Course in Miracles

I heard a story once about an eagle's egg that had got lost or abandoned and was found by chickens. When the eagle hatched, it was loved and cared for by the chickens, brought up to act and behave as if it was a chicken. It knew nothing else… Until one day, the eagle was with his brothers and sisters pecking at the ground, like a chicken, when something made him look up to the sky. High above he saw a majestic sight, a beautiful bird soaring gracefully. Something was stirred inside him, a remembrance, a recognition of 'home'…

He asked the chickens, "What is that beautiful bird up there?" The chickens looked up. "Oh that," they said, "that's an eagle, king of the birds. But forget about him, you are one of us, you are a chicken…." I don't know how the story ended and, to me, it is not a case of an eagle being superior to a chicken…just different. The same story has been told about a duck's egg and one day the duck arrives at a great lake just swims, "because he can" --- "it's natural", leaving his family on the shore.

As I understand it, it's all just about remembering Who/What we really are, regardless of what we've been told by others or how we have been brought up. A rose will grow into a rose even if it's in the middle of a field of tulips.

There is an ancient Indian word "Dharma", which has two meanings. The first is, "Your nature, your true, real, essential nature." The second is, "Your purpose in life". To me the two are inseparable. I believe the word literally translates as Truth.

"You are what your deep driving desire is; as your desire is so is your will; as your will is so is your deed; as your deed is so is your destiny." --- Upanishads, India

Or, like they said in ancient Greece, "Character is fate".

Whatever we are at our most fundamental level, at our most base, whether that be something metaphysical, or something like DNA, I believe that to discover, or remember it is our 'raison d'etre'. And to live in accord, harmony with our deepest selves is the meaning of success.

"Above all, to thine own self be true." --- William Shakespeare

It's been said that when we die and go back home to our Maker, we will never be asked why we didn't cure the common cold, why we never made a billion pounds or anything else like that, but simply be asked, "Why didn't you just be yourself?"

Simon Heighwaya
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The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.

Richard Bach
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Quality of your thoughts

With your thoughts you can open your eyes. What you see in front of you is a function of the thoughts you nourish inside of you. Have you ever thought about a person whom you haven't heard from in a long time, and then that person suddenly appears again in your life? It may seem magical or supernatural but it's not.

For your thoughts did not magically cause that person to appear. Instead, your thoughts opened you up to connect with that person who was there all the time.

There are vast expanses of reality that you have never even considered. Your thoughts can open you up to experience all sorts of valuable and wondrous things.

Life becomes available to you to the extent that your thoughts allow. And the quality of life that you experience is very closely connected to the quality of your thoughts.

Your thoughts are the filter through which you connect with the world where you live. With your thoughts you can choose to experience the best of life's countless possibilities.

Ralph Marston
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To fulfill a dream, to be allowed to sweat over lonely labor, to be given a chance to create, is the meat and potatoes of life. The money is the gravy.

Bette Davis

"Some things you have to do every day. Eating seven apples on Saturday night instead of one a day just isn't going to get the job done."
Jim Rohn
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BALANCE OF LIFE
by Catherine Pulsifer

Mary and Susan were friends for years. They grew up together and attended the same schools. They were now both in their 40's, and both had great careers. They both had a similar upbringing - same education, same family values, similar support and financial position. But there was one main difference. Mary never seemed to have enough time. She watched her life long friend Susan. She had similar responsibilities and interests. Susan had a career, she had three children, she had her hobbies, one of which included golf. Over lunch, Susan was telling Mary about the golf game that she played last weekend.

"Susan, where do you find the time to play golf?" asked Mary. "I never seem to have the time, now with the children older and doing there own thing I thought I would have time to play golf like we did when we were in college."

Susan looked at Mary and laughed, "Mary, we both have the same hours in a day. You do have the time to play golf!"

With a sigh Mary replied, "That's easy for you to say. I never seem to have time. My work takes so much of my time. I am in the office at 7:30, I leave at 6:30 in the evening. By the time I get home and have dinner, it is 8:00! And, then I usually have a briefcase full of work. The weekends are full of more work. Just to keep up, I have to put in the hours. You know what it is like!"

"Of course, I know what it is like," Mary said. "But what would happen tomorrow if you got sick? Who would do the work?"

"Sick. Who has time to get sick! exclaimed Mary. "But if I did get sick, someone else would do the work, I suppose."

"You know something, Mary, I used to be like you. I worked night and day and of course on weekends. When I got home I was exhausted but I would push myself and read my children a bedtime story. By the time I went to bed, I would be more than exhausted. The boss I had was very demanding. She was there early in the morning, late at night, and she always worked weekends. I felt I had to do the same - I needed the job to help support my family - just as you did. But then I had a change of bosses. The man I worked for was older and much wiser, I might add! Of course, I continued to work the hours I had been working. One day he came to my desk and passed me a card that had a quote on it which said, 'What I do today is important, because I will never have today again' - then he left.

I sat there stunned. I suddenly thought of what was important to me. While my work was important, I realized my children were more important. I also realized that time for me was important. It was 4:30, the official closing time of the office. I straightened my desk, felt a twinge of guilt about leaving, but I forced myself to leave. I was home by 5:00. My children and husband were surprised. I had a wonderful evening. It was not a chore to read that bedtime story that evening."

Mary was looking at her friend thoughtfully and then questioned Susan about the work she had left on her desk.

Susan replied, "I never thought this possible, but I actually accomplished more the next day then I had in weeks. As I was leaving the next day I stopped at my new boss's office and thanked him for the quote. He told me a story about advice his dad had given him many years ago when he was working night and day. He referred to it as 'Balance of Life'. His dad told him to keep balance in his work, in his family life and in time for himself. He explained to me, while all aspects of our life are important, without a balance, you become addicted and like all addictions you lose -

- no balance with your family - you lose them

- no balance with your work - you lose your perspective and you actually lose focus on the important aspects of your job.

- no balance with yourself - you forget who you are and when you retire you have nothing! Or worse than that, if you lose your job through a company sale or downsizing you lose your identity.

He went on to tell me that who we are is NOT what we do to make a living. Who we are is a balance of our family, our work, ourselves! It truly was the best advice I ever received."

Mary took a drink of her tea and tearfully looked at her friend, "But I would never get my work done if I left at 4:30!"

Susan looked thoughtfully at her, "When you go to work on Monday, look at what you have on your desk. Make a list of everything you have to get done and beside that list write the impact of not doing it. Then focus only on the top three items that have the most impact. Do that everyday for a week. At first, you will find it difficult to leave. But, after awhile, you will find that you will have more energy, and you will be more focused in your work because you have BALANCE! There are times when we have to lose balance - a special project at work, or a family matter at home - but consciously focusing on balance keeps everything in check."

Mary smiled at her friend, "Thanks for talking with me. We have been friends for so long. Thank heavens I have balance with your friendship! You have convinced me. I will leave the work in my briefcase this weekend. On Monday, I will make the list first thing. Perhaps next weekend, I will have the time to go golfing with you!"

"Balance of Life" - important for us ALL!
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"Morale and attitude are the fundamental ingredients to success."
Bud Wilkinson
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When There Aren't Any Clear Answers

Often in life we have to deal with the fact that we have so many choices and so many things going on that there aren't always clear answers.


Clear answers are often elusive when we are in a transformative period of growth and change. As we all know change is not a one-time proposition in life. Life is not static. It is fluid. Life is like a river, always flowing, always moving with situations that are in constant flux.


When there aren't any clear answers what can you do? Do you try to force choices or decisions and then regret them later? Do you rush into things only to see them crumble around you? What do you do when there aren't any clear answers?


When we aren't sure what to do or what choice to make the in between time can yield increased stress and anxiety. Sometimes this increased stress and anxiety gives us the urgent and overwhelming impression we need to choose something really fast to ameliorate our growing discomfort. Or conversely, this increasing stress and anxiety can paralyze us if we aren't careful. Leave us feeling so overwhelmed we decide not to make any decisions. This can lead to a lot of subsequent chaos. Choices not made aren't choices. They are in effect the end result of our own chosen helplessness and more often than not will leave us feeling victimized and un-empowered. Letting life run its course for you is a sure way to end up lost.


When there are no clear answers, stand still. Relax. Create a reasonable time frame within which you will process and work through whatever you need to in order to find the answers that you seek and/or need.


You do not need any answer this minute that you do not have. You do not have it this minute because you are not yet ready to appreciate it, choose it, and act upon it.


When there are no clear answers the universe requires faith and trust from you. It is in your best interest to stand still, breathe, learn what you still need to learn in order to be able to move on.


The answers appear when the student of life is ready for them. When we have the luxury in this fast paced world to slow things down and to really search our hearts and souls acting in good and loving faith we will never be led astray.


When there are no clear answer there is as much purpose for that as there is purpose for the answers as they appear when you are ready to figure them out and to choose them.


Trust that things are unfolding as they should. Be patient in the hurried anxiety of waiting. Life calls us to hurry up and wait often.


It is in the waiting that we grow even more. It is in the waiting that the answers will come, in due time, to those who seek them.


Clearly, there will be that clear answer that you want and/or need the exact moment that you are ready to know what you need to learn and that you are willing to take loving, congruent, responsible action. The answer will come to you very clearly when you are ready to choose it. It will become an adventure and does not remain a stressful anxiety-filled fear-based cavern of doubt and insecurity.


When there is no clear answer sit with that in the unfolding moment in an aware and mindful way. You are the way for that answer to manifest from the universe in and through you -- for you.


Trust that.

Copyright (C) 2005 Ms. A.J. Mahari
(soulselfhelp@rogers.com)
(www.soulselfhelp.on.ca)
All rights reserved.
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"It's good to have money and the things money can buy, but it's good, too, to check up once in a while and make sure that you haven't lost the things money can't buy."
George
Horace Lormier

"Adventure isn't hanging on a rope off the side of a mountain. Adventure is an attitude that we must apply to the day to day obstacles of life – facing new challenges, seizing new opportunities, testing our resources against the unknown and in the process, discovering our own unique potential."

John Amatt
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Love is a Decision

Gary Smalley

If your marriage relationship doesn’t have a destination, how will you know when you arrive? And why wait for love to materialize out of stardust, when you could choose excitement and romance—now?

There is a simple yet profound plan for a marriage of depth and warmth and excitement! Plan, you ask? Exactly! Good marriages are no accident. …

Six elements to staying in love, included in Love is a Decision, are:

Making your spouse feel truly honored.

Learning the art of touching—tenderly.

Keeping courtship alive in your marriage.

Re-opening a heart closed by anger.

Building—or rebuilding—trust in a relationship.

Becoming best friends with your family

These six elements are the keys to Love. Love is not an emotion, love is not a feeling, love is not happen-stance. Love is a Decision. Love is waking up every day committed to honoring your mate by implementing the above six keys. If you want to have a great relationship, guess what, it’s up to you.
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"Bringing up a family should be an adventure, not an anxious discipline in which everybody is constantly graded for performance."

Milton R. Saperstein
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It's A Most Unusual Day William Arthur Ward

TODAY is a most unusual day, because we have never lived it before; we will never live it again; it is the only day we have.

TODAY can be a healthy unusual day for you—and for others—if you take time to give someone a smile…to express a word of kindness…to lend a helping hand to someone in need...to write a note of gratitude… to give a word of encouragement to someone who is temporarily overcome with problems…to share a portion of your material possessions with others.

LOSE YOURSELF in generous service and every day can be a most unusual day, a triumphant day, an abundantly rewarding day!
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"To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world. An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is an adventure wrongly considered."

G.K. Chesterton

Just a quick comment policy/guideline post…

I cannot tell you how happy I am to be back!! My WONDERFUL husband found this long lost list for me again, and I am so excited to begin sharing these things with you again in a new format. I will send an email to each of you for the first few posts to let you know of a new issue, and then hopefully this blog will be at the top of your favorite places and you will come and visit it often!

I started this list many years ago when I started reading these tidbits myself and sharing with a few friends. Those few grew to a few more, and the list grew huge after that!

PLEASE NOTE:

NONE OF WHAT I SHARE IS WRITTEN BY ME!!

I will always include the author when it is available, and when it is not I will post it as anonymous. I am not as wise as the words of others that I share! I only hope they make me wiser, and in turn I can share them with you.

This blog is like a big white board in my house. I post the kinds of things here that are of interest to me. Thinking that you or anyone else might possibly also find what I share interesting, I invite you all into my house to read and enjoy, and welcome you to make comments. I really would like for you to feel free to add to this blog or just to tell me what you think.


Finally, let's all have a wonderful time, and hope we can all become

"a better you"

Thanks,
Sheri