"Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up interest wrinkles the soul." Douglas MacArthur
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ANCHOR YOUR RELATIONSHIPS by Chris Widener

I heard a speaker recently who was talking about how to maintain strong relationships. As I listened to his basic principle, I realized that it is true in all of our life situations, be it work, family etc. And let's face it, relationships are what make the world go 'round. So strong healthy relationships will make your work more enjoyable, and prosperous, and will make your family and friend relationships better as well.

What was the principle? The speaker said that each point of connection is like an anchor in the relationship, and the more connections you have, the stronger the relationship will be. He calls one-connection relationships "Simplex," and multi-connection relationships, "Multiplex." The strongest relationships are multiplex.

There is also the idea that some connections are stronger than others and so you want as many connections as possible and you want those connections to be as strong as they can be as well. Confused? Let's put some legs on this. We'll take a business situation and we'll take a family situation to illustrate the principle.

Anchoring work relationships. Let's say you sell insurance. A guy walks in and says, "I would like to purchase some term life insurance." You have a simplex relationship. The connection is that you both want him to have insurance. As you get to know him better and get information from him, you realize that you have a multiplex relationship growing and the chance that your business relationship will grow is improving.

"You grew up in Iowa? Me too!" "You like to golf? Me too!" "Your wife and you like to go to the opera? So do we! We should go together sometime."

The multiple connections are anchoring your relationship.

Anchoring a family relationship. Let's take a marriage in trouble. Chances are that at one time, the relationship was multiplex. Because of time, work, and other stresses, the marriage has deteriorated to the point where both are thinking, "What did I marry this person for?" Or "Why do I stay?" The chances are that now the relationship is simplex. Maybe it is that the one connection is that they want to do right by the kids and so they "Tough it out." What is the answer? I believe that it is regaining a multiplex relationship. Work hard to make those other anchoring connections. Did you used to play tennis together before the kids came along? Go play tennis together on a regular basis. Do you both have a common interest in a specific cause or charity, but time hasn't allowed you to pursue it? Take the time! It will anchor your relationship again!

I think you get the point.

Take some time to think about your current relationships. Are they as multiplex as they can be or as they used to be? Think about the new relationships you will make in the coming weeks or months. Think of ways you can make them strong by finding multiple connections, securing deeper and more fulfilling relationships.

Make your relationships "multiplex" and you make them strong, with an anchor that will not let them go!
******************************************** "I am neither especially clever nor especially gifted. I am only very, very curious." Albert Einstein
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Make use

The very best way to be thankful for the good things you have is to make use of them. The essence of each blessing is the positive possibility it holds.

The best way to be thankful for the love in your life is to live and express that love in each moment. Give your time, your thoughts, your presence and your feelings to the people you love, for those are the gifts that will truly be treasured.

The best way to be thankful for your life is to make something of it. Every day you have the opportunity to live with meaning and with purpose.

Every day you have the opportunity to make positive, beneficial use of the goodness that fills your world. The more of that goodness you appreciate and utilize, the more that goodness will grow.

The way to sincerely give thanks is to give your energy to the positive possibilities. For you have the power to bring those possibilities to life.

And to do so is, after all, the greatest form of gratitude. For it acknowledges the richest blessings, and makes them more and more.

Ralph Marston
****************************************** "The mark of a truly civilized man is confidence in the strength and security derived from the inquiring mind." Felix Frankfurter

I've learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances.

Martha Washington
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HOW TO SQUEEZE THE MOST OUT OF YOUR TIME

by Brian Tracy

How do you start your day? Years ago I started planning mine by writing everything down I would have to do, the night before. I found that drawing up your list the night before prompts your subconscious to work on your plans and goals while you sleep. When you wake up, you feel ready to tackle your challenges.

When prioritizing and planning your time, consider the following points:

Key questions

What is the highest value-added action I can do? What can I, and only I, do that I've done well before to make a difference? Why am I on the payroll?

The answers to these questions help identify all that needs to be done and in what order. That, in turn, will bolster personal productivity.

Values

Decide what's important to you, and in what order. Make sure your values don't conflict with work. Energy spent worrying diminishes your abilities.

Consequences

Every action has consequences - good and bad. Consider what rewards you'd reap by completing a task. Then, compare those rewards with the consequences of putting it aside. This process makes it easier to see which goals have a higher value.

The Pareto Principle

Vilfredo Pareto, a 19th-century engineer, argued that 20% of what you do accounts for 80% of the value. When considering the importance of a task, ask yourself whether it's among the 20% that creates the most value.

Urgency vs. Importance

An unexpected phone call or a drop-in visitor may be urgent, but the consequences of dealing with either may not be important in the long run.

The urgent is other-oriented; it's caused by someone else. Important things are self-directed and have the greatest value for you.

The Limiting Step

Standing between you and what you want to achieve is the limiting step. That's the bottleneck that determines how quickly you can reach your goal. It's important to identify that step and focus single-mindedly on getting that one thing done.

A Written Plan

Lists of goals, tasks and objectives are of no help unless they're written. Putting your plans on paper makes a seemingly elusive goal more concrete. There's a connection that takes place between the brain and the hand. When you don't write it down, it's fuzzy, but as you write it and revise it, it becomes clear.

Visualization

See yourself doing what you need to get done. Visualization trains the subconscious to focus on completing tasks. Say, for example, that you want to begin each morning by exercising. Visualizing yourself doing sit-ups and push-ups the night before conditions the mind to do those the next day. When you prime you mind, it wakes you up even before the alarm clock goes off.

Remember you are a winner and preparation goes a long way in helping you achieve all your goals.
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Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.

Louisa May Alcott
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"Anything that you should have done, but didn't, ties you to your past"

Is your mental and emotional clutter getting in the way of a fulfilling life? It's time to clean out the "need-to's," "have-to's," and "ought-to's," from your past. When you have regrets it's tough to move forward and grow.

Put the past in the past. Return anything you borrowed. Make apologies where needed. Get your bills up to date. Send the card or gift that you forgot to send. Make the phone call you need to make.

Taking care of these things cleans your mental slate and eliminates any regrets or resentments you may harbor.

Now, take a deep breath; look ahead. Both your conscience, and your future vision, is clear.
-Meditations For Women-
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Vocabulary enables us to interpret and to express. If you have a limited vocabulary, you will also have a limited vision and a limited future.

Jim Rohn

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.

Eleanor Roosevelt
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A SENSE OF URGENCY IS TREMENDOUS

by Charlie "Tremendous" Jones

Perhaps my findings are not the only solution, but with all my heart I believe the fires of greatness in our heart can be kept aglow only after we develop a sense of urgency and importance for what we are doing. I mean a sense of urgency to the extent that we feel it is a matter of life and death; and it is a matter of life and death, for in growing we are alive and in quitting we are dying in a sense. If you don't believe this, talk to anyone who has lost the sense of urgency of getting things done and has been drifting in complacency, mediocrity and failure. If you are without a sense of urgency in your work, you know what I mean.

A sense of urgency is that feeling that lets you know yesterday is gone forever, tomorrow never comes. TODAY is in your hands. It lets you know that shirking today's task will add to wasted yesterdays and postponing today's work will add to tomorrow's burden. The sense of urgency causes you to accomplish what today sets before you. Thank God for the sense of urgency that can change a dull, shabby existence into a sparkling life. Right now, ask God to give you a sense of urgency. Believe that He did, and then act accordingly.

Tremendously,

Charles "T" Jones
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Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact. Henry James
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"Practice in The Silence"

In his 1918 work, "The Power of Concentration" (re-published by Mike Litman, <http://www.powerofconcentration.net/>), the author, Theron Dumont wrote, "It is necessary to be silent before you can speak wisely." True enough, as stated. But then he goes on to write something that we've mentioned in several past issues, though I believe he says it much better and more powerfully than I have.

According to Dumont, "The person who is really alert and well poised and able to speak wisely under trying circumstance, is the person who has practiced in the silence."

I see two different interpretations - or levels - regarding what Mr. Dumont wrote:

#1 The silence itself must be practiced. In other words, how difficult is it for most people (myself included) to remain silent after hearing someone say something with which you disagree. Don't you just want to spring back with an answer? Well, what happens when you do that? There are several possible results, amongst which are:

A. You didn't understand exactly what the other person was really saying but, instead, allowed your personal belief system/paradigm/world model to interpret it for you, thus you responded to something the other person didn't actually mean.

B. You answer without first forming a clear idea as to what you want to say and how you can best say it so, even your answer lacks the meaning you would have given it had you taken a moment to think it out.

C. You cause the other person to resent you for jumping down his/her throat the very nanosecond they finished their sentence.

None of these options makes for effective and persuasive communication. For this alone, it seems as though it would be a great idea for all of us to practice (getting into) the silence. In other words, practice holding our tongues until we've first allowed silence to buffer the response.

The second interpretation I see of Mr. Dumont's statement however is, I believe, the more meaningful. In "practicing in the silence" he is teaching us to be comfortable in the silence and even allowing the silence to be our guide. There is actually wisdom within the silence.

He writes, "Speech interferes with the focusing powers of the mind, as it withdraws the attention to the external and therefore is hardly to be compared with that deep silence of the subconscious mind, where deep thoughts, and the silent forces of high potency are evolved.

So, as an exercise for this week, perhaps we can all keep within our awareness the goal to practice being silent before speaking, to practice not only being silent, but to practice *in* the silence.

Bob BurgBob Burg is author of"Winning Without Intimidation: How to Master the Art of PositivePersuasion"
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Willpower is the key to success. Successful people strive no matter what they feel by applying their will to over-come apathy, doubt or fear.

Dan Millman

"Don't wait for an employer, friend, or mentor to show appreciation for your work. Take pride in your own efforts on a daily basis."

Denis Waitley
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People in our Lives

by Catherine Pulsifer

I sat reflecting on the past year when my friend Charley came into the room. Charley took one look at my face and she could tell I was off in another world. Charley immediately snapped me out of my thoughts by saying, "you have that look on your face!". I immediately laughed and said, "Oh Charley, I was just reflecting on the past year".

Charley has always had the ability of drawing everything out of me. She can read my face and she knows when I am deep in thought; she knows when I am upset; she knows when I am happy. She sat down and said, "Tell me what your were thinking".

"Well Charley", I replied, "I was listening to a song on the radio that asked what have you done over the last year. I was thinking about the last year. When I reflect on the year, I have had such good fortune, with a few bumps along the way. Charley, at the beginning of the year my life was in such turmoil, challenges with my work, challenges financially, major decisions that I had to make and now here we are at the end of the year and so much has happened".

Charley immediately focused my thoughts and asked, "Tell me about the three things that impacted you the most during this year"?

I sat thinking if I had to pick only three things that impacted me what would they be? After a few minutes, I looked Charley straight in the eye and said, "Okay here are the three things that impacted me the most: 1. My family. I realized they are the most important part of my life. Throughout the year I had many challenges, but my family were always there offering support and encouragement. My husband. He understands and supports me even when I perhaps don't deserve such support. I have great children who make me proud. My parents, my sister and brothers are always there for me no matter what is happening in my life. 2. My friends. Over the years I have shared my dreams and my goals with my friends. Some goals I have realized and other goals I have not. But friends like you Charley always supported and encouraged me. It really has made a difference. As you know, I am going to make some major changes in my life in the coming year realizing a goal that is about 5 years behind but is finally coming to realization. A goal that will take me many miles away from my dear friends like you Charley but you still supported and encouraged me. 3. My colleagues. I have worked with some amazing people over the last year. People of whom I had a different perception. But, once I worked with them I realized how wrong my perception was. Sometimes, we past judgment on people and we really don't realize what they are all about. This year, I had many of my perceptions change. I have been very, very fortunate to have the opportunity to work with some excellent people over the last year.

Also Charley, the people who I have met through my website. People like M. K; Claire; Jackie; Josh; and others who have contributed to my website. They have truly had an impact on my life. They have shared their talents and contributed to my site not expecting anything in return only to help make a positive contribution to other peoples lives."

Charley smiled and said, "Do you realize that everything you have said has one thing in common"?

"What are you saying, Charley?" I asked.

She replied, "The one common denominator is people. The material things in your life, nor your actual job have had the most meaning in your life. It is the people in your life that have had the biggest impact. People have made the biggest difference in your life!"

I smiled. Leave it to Charley to see this and point it out to me. Material things are not important, and while our jobs provide the means, the important things in life are the people who touched our lives.
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"Fifteen to thirty minutes of training a day will make any employee a world class expert in five years."

Jeffrey Gitomer
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Dare To Dance Outside the Lines

Today is the day to give yourself permission to break the rules, to move outside the boundaries of your usual way of looking at things. For the time being, forget about practical, realistic ideas. Dare to go beyond the self-censorship that comes from worrying about what other people think.

When you follow your heart and dismiss unimportant "shoulds," you open the door to creative, spiritual and personal breakthroughs. Try it....today!

-Meditations for Women-
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"The difference between failure and success is doing a thing nearly right and doing a thing exactly right."

Edward Simmons