"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live. Remember that."
from The Harry Potter Movie
******************************************************
"I Couldn't Justify..."
One question I'm often asked is, "How does one I turn down an offer when it isn't acceptable and, still not offend the person, closing down further dialogue?"
I always consider that to be a great question because it shows a desire to treat people right. It also shows understanding that the best way to get what you want is to make the other person feel good about themselves, as well as about you.
Have you ever witnessed a person saying, "That's my final offer - take it or leave it!"? If that's happened to you, did you "leave it" even if it was a decent offer? People do that because no one wants to be treated unkindly. Let's face it, the ego elicits the making of emotional decisions and, if insulted, people will often make decisions that aren't good for them.
And, even if they are in a position where they must accept now, they'll be tempted to somehow sabotage the arrangement and/or do what they can in the future to make life difficult for that person.
Some people, when refusing an offer, respond in a similar fashion. They might say, "There's no way I'll accept that. You
*must* give me 'such and such' or I'm walking." This then puts the other person in a situation where, if they agree, they have just "backed down" or "submitted."
On the other hand, we can very pleasantly turn down an offer while allowing that person to "save face" and still understand they need to come back with a better offer. For example:
Steve: This is the price for the widget, and delivery will be in two weeks.
You: Thank you Steve. I appreciate the offer. Unfortunately, at that price and the long delivery time, "I couldn't justify" making the purchase. But I DO appreciate the offer.
You've very kindly, politely and respectfully (which, in his mind, has just separated you positively from many others) said no, while leaving his self-esteem totally intact. People like Steve WANT to do business with people like you. Now, say nothing and see if Steve comes back with another offer or asks you what price/delivery time you were thinking. If, after a few seconds, he says nothing (and assuming you really want the widget enough to pursue this), simply say: "Steve, what can you offer that would help me to justify the decision to buy?"
He'll either come back with something better, or he won't. There's no guarantee he will. (Sometimes, it's a condition, not a choice, meaning that he has no room to negotiate further.) The choice will then be yours. However, what I CAN guarantee is that if you'll proceed with the "I couldn't justify..." response as opposed to a simple (or less than nice) "no", the odds of him going out of his way to make you happy will increase dramatically.
Bob Burg
*****************************************************
"The amount of satisfaction you get from life depends largely on your own ingenuity, self-sufficiency, and resourcefulness. People who wait around for life to supply their satisfaction usually find boredom instead."
Dr. William Menninger
******************************************************
Something to Make Me Happy
By Sharon Palmer
I was doing some last-minute Christmas shopping in a toy store and decided to look at Barbie dolls for my nieces.
A nicely dressed little girl was excitedly looking through the Barbie dolls as well, with a roll of money clamped tightly in her little hand.
When she came upon a Barbie she liked, she would turn and ask her father if she had enough money to buy it. He usually said "yes," but she would keep looking and keep going through their ritual of "Do I have enough?"
As she was looking, a little boy wandered in across the aisle and started sorting through the Pokémon toys.
He was dressed neatly, but in clothes that were obviously rather worn, and wearing a jacket that was probably a couple of sizes too small. He, too, had money in his hand, but it looked to be no more than five dollars or so, at the most.
He was with his father as well, and kept picking up the Pokémon video games. Each time he picked one up and looked at his father, his father shook his head, "no."
The little girl had apparently chosen her Barbie, a beautifully dressed, glamorous doll that would have been the envy of every little girl on the block.
However, she had stopped and was watching the interchange between the little boy and his father. Rather dejectedly, the boy had given up on the video games and had chosen what looked like a book of stickers instead. He and his father then started walking through another aisle of the store.
The little girl put her Barbie back on the shelf, and ran over to the Pokémon games. She excitedly picked up one that was lying on top of the other toys, and raced toward the check-out, after speaking with her father.
I picked up my purchases and got in line behind them.
Then, much to the little girl's obvious delight, the little boy and his father got in line behind me.
After the toy was paid for and bagged, the little girl handed it back to the cashier and whispered something in her ear. The cashier smiled and put the package under the counter.
I paid for my purchases and was rearranging things in my purse when the little boy came up to the cashier. The cashier rang up his purchases and then said, "Congratulations, you are my hundredth customer today, and you win a prize!"
With that, she handed the little boy the Pokémon game, and he could only stare in disbelief.
It was, he said, exactly what he had wanted!
The little girl and her father had been standing at the doorway during all of this, and I saw the biggest, prettiest grin on that little girl that I have ever seen in my life. Then they walked out the door, and I followed, close behind them.
As I walked back to my car, in amazement over what I had just witnessed, I heard the father ask his daughter why she had done that. I'll never forget what she said to him.
"Daddy, didn't Nana and Paw Paw want me to buy something that would make me happy?"
He said, "Of course they did, Honey."
To which the little girl replied, "Well, I just did!"
With that, she giggled and started skipping toward their car. Apparently, she had decided on the answer to her own question of, "Do I have enough?"
******************************************************
"I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing."
Agatha Christie
from The Harry Potter Movie
******************************************************
"I Couldn't Justify..."
One question I'm often asked is, "How does one I turn down an offer when it isn't acceptable and, still not offend the person, closing down further dialogue?"
I always consider that to be a great question because it shows a desire to treat people right. It also shows understanding that the best way to get what you want is to make the other person feel good about themselves, as well as about you.
Have you ever witnessed a person saying, "That's my final offer - take it or leave it!"? If that's happened to you, did you "leave it" even if it was a decent offer? People do that because no one wants to be treated unkindly. Let's face it, the ego elicits the making of emotional decisions and, if insulted, people will often make decisions that aren't good for them.
And, even if they are in a position where they must accept now, they'll be tempted to somehow sabotage the arrangement and/or do what they can in the future to make life difficult for that person.
Some people, when refusing an offer, respond in a similar fashion. They might say, "There's no way I'll accept that. You
*must* give me 'such and such' or I'm walking." This then puts the other person in a situation where, if they agree, they have just "backed down" or "submitted."
On the other hand, we can very pleasantly turn down an offer while allowing that person to "save face" and still understand they need to come back with a better offer. For example:
Steve: This is the price for the widget, and delivery will be in two weeks.
You: Thank you Steve. I appreciate the offer. Unfortunately, at that price and the long delivery time, "I couldn't justify" making the purchase. But I DO appreciate the offer.
You've very kindly, politely and respectfully (which, in his mind, has just separated you positively from many others) said no, while leaving his self-esteem totally intact. People like Steve WANT to do business with people like you. Now, say nothing and see if Steve comes back with another offer or asks you what price/delivery time you were thinking. If, after a few seconds, he says nothing (and assuming you really want the widget enough to pursue this), simply say: "Steve, what can you offer that would help me to justify the decision to buy?"
He'll either come back with something better, or he won't. There's no guarantee he will. (Sometimes, it's a condition, not a choice, meaning that he has no room to negotiate further.) The choice will then be yours. However, what I CAN guarantee is that if you'll proceed with the "I couldn't justify..." response as opposed to a simple (or less than nice) "no", the odds of him going out of his way to make you happy will increase dramatically.
Bob Burg
*****************************************************
"The amount of satisfaction you get from life depends largely on your own ingenuity, self-sufficiency, and resourcefulness. People who wait around for life to supply their satisfaction usually find boredom instead."
Dr. William Menninger
******************************************************
Something to Make Me Happy
By Sharon Palmer
I was doing some last-minute Christmas shopping in a toy store and decided to look at Barbie dolls for my nieces.
A nicely dressed little girl was excitedly looking through the Barbie dolls as well, with a roll of money clamped tightly in her little hand.
When she came upon a Barbie she liked, she would turn and ask her father if she had enough money to buy it. He usually said "yes," but she would keep looking and keep going through their ritual of "Do I have enough?"
As she was looking, a little boy wandered in across the aisle and started sorting through the Pokémon toys.
He was dressed neatly, but in clothes that were obviously rather worn, and wearing a jacket that was probably a couple of sizes too small. He, too, had money in his hand, but it looked to be no more than five dollars or so, at the most.
He was with his father as well, and kept picking up the Pokémon video games. Each time he picked one up and looked at his father, his father shook his head, "no."
The little girl had apparently chosen her Barbie, a beautifully dressed, glamorous doll that would have been the envy of every little girl on the block.
However, she had stopped and was watching the interchange between the little boy and his father. Rather dejectedly, the boy had given up on the video games and had chosen what looked like a book of stickers instead. He and his father then started walking through another aisle of the store.
The little girl put her Barbie back on the shelf, and ran over to the Pokémon games. She excitedly picked up one that was lying on top of the other toys, and raced toward the check-out, after speaking with her father.
I picked up my purchases and got in line behind them.
Then, much to the little girl's obvious delight, the little boy and his father got in line behind me.
After the toy was paid for and bagged, the little girl handed it back to the cashier and whispered something in her ear. The cashier smiled and put the package under the counter.
I paid for my purchases and was rearranging things in my purse when the little boy came up to the cashier. The cashier rang up his purchases and then said, "Congratulations, you are my hundredth customer today, and you win a prize!"
With that, she handed the little boy the Pokémon game, and he could only stare in disbelief.
It was, he said, exactly what he had wanted!
The little girl and her father had been standing at the doorway during all of this, and I saw the biggest, prettiest grin on that little girl that I have ever seen in my life. Then they walked out the door, and I followed, close behind them.
As I walked back to my car, in amazement over what I had just witnessed, I heard the father ask his daughter why she had done that. I'll never forget what she said to him.
"Daddy, didn't Nana and Paw Paw want me to buy something that would make me happy?"
He said, "Of course they did, Honey."
To which the little girl replied, "Well, I just did!"
With that, she giggled and started skipping toward their car. Apparently, she had decided on the answer to her own question of, "Do I have enough?"
******************************************************
"I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing."
Agatha Christie
