"It takes but one positive thought when given a chance to survive and thrive to overpower an entire army of negative thoughts."
Robert H. Schuller

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The Word That Made a Difference

How just one word of praise helped a shy student break through a mental block.

By Gary Smalley and John Trent

Sixth grade hadn’t been a banner year for Eric. Never very confident in school, he had a particular dread of mathematics. “A mental block,” one of the school’s counselors had told him. Then, as if a mental math block wasn’t enough for an eleven-year-old kid to deal with, he came down with measles in the fall and had to stay out of school for two weeks. By the time he got back, his classmates were multiplying fractions. Eric was still trying to figure out what you got when you put a half pie with three-quarters of a pie...besides a lot of pie. Eric’s teacher, Mrs. Gunther—loud, overweight, and terrifying—was unsympathetic. For the rest of the year she hounded him with ceaseless makeup assignments. When his mental block prevented his progress in fractions, she would thunder at him in front of the class, “I don’t care for your excuses! You’d better straighten up!”

The mental block, once the size of a backyard fence, now loomed like the Great Wall of China. Eric despaired of ever catching up, and even fell behind in subjects he’d been good at.

Then came the remarkable moment.

It happened in the middle of Mrs. Warwick’s ninth grade English class. To this day, some twenty-five years later, Eric still lights up as he recalls the Moment.

The fifth period class had been yawning through Mrs. Warwick’s attempts to spark discussion about a Mark Twain story. At some point in the lecture, something clicked in Eric’s mind. It was probably crazy, but it suddenly seemed like he understood something Twain had been driving at—something a little below the surface. Despite himself, Eric raised his hand and ventured an observation.

That led to the moment when Mrs. Warwick looked straight into Eric’s eyes, beamed with pleasure, and said, “Why, Eric...that was very perceptive of you!” Perceptive. Perceptive? Perceptive!

The word echoed in Eric’s thoughts for the rest of the day—and then for the rest of his life. Perceptive? Me? Well, yeah. I guess that WAS perceptive. Maybe I AM perceptive. One word, one little positive word dropped at the right moment somehow tipped the balance in a teenager’s view of himself—and possibly changed the course of his life, even though he still can’t multiply fractions.

Eric went on to pursue a career in journalism and eventually became a book editor, working successfully with some of the top authors in America.

Many teachers are well aware how praise motivates children. One teacher said she praised each student in her third grade class every day, without exception. Her students were the most motivated, encouraged, and enthusiastic in the school. I remember what happened when my high school geometry teacher began to affirm me regularly. Within six weeks my D average climbed to an A.

It’s wonderful when a teacher has the opportunity to inject a word of affirmation into a child’s life. It’s even better when that opportunity is seized. But perhaps the greatest honor of any teacher is seeing a child’s eyes light up when they discover something new about themselves and about the world around them. It’s what kindles their pride in being called “teacher.”

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The world is like a mirror; frown at it, and it frowns at you. Smile and it smiles, too.
Herbert Samuels

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The reason

When it seems too frustrating, tedious, difficult or uncomfortable, stop for a moment and give yourself time to remember. Stop for a moment and remember why you're doing it in the first place. When there's a meaningful reason behind what you're doing, then you'll be able to find the motivation and the energy to get it done. Connect yourself with that reason, and allow it to push you forward.

Because you have a reason, you have a very real stake in the outcome of your own efforts. Be sure to keep yourself connected to whatever that reason may be.

The discipline, persistence, commitment and effectiveness necessary to get the job done need substance to support and maintain them. They require a real and meaningful reason, a driving purpose, in order to thrive.

Whenever something starts to get you down, challenge yourself to remember why you're doing it. Remember why, and move ahead with a fresh, powerful, renewed sense of purpose.

Remember why, and you'll have what it takes to get it done.

Ralph Marston

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"Ordinary riches can be stolen: real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you."
Oscar Wilde

"When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself."

Wayne Dyer
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A Real Home By Carol McAdoo Rehme Her world had shattered with the divorce. Bills, house payments, health insurance. Her part-time job provided little income and fewer benefits. With no financial support, she had finally lost the house. At wit's end, Karen managed to rent a cramped camper at the local RV park for herself and five-year-old Joshua. It was only a little better than living out of their car, and she wished with all her heart that she could provide more for her child. After their evening ritual of giggling over a table game and reading stories, Karen sent her son outside to play until bedtime while she agonized over the checkbook. She glanced out the window when she heard voices. "Say, Josh, don't you wish you had a real home?" asked the campground manager. Karen tensed and held her breath as she leaned nearer the open window. Then a smile spread across her face when she heard Joshua's response. "We already have a real home," he said. "It's just that we don't have a house to put it in."
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"Our attitude toward life determines life's attitude towards us."

Earl Nightingale
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Unfortunately, life does not come with a money-back guarantee. Going after what we want, especially if we're up against established interests, is likely to demand the commitment of our best energies -- with no certainty of getting it.

Oddly enough, some of the happiest people we are ever likely to meet are those who devote their lives to seemingly hopeless causes. For such people, daring a lot can mean staking their lives on a belief. The outcomes are bound to be small in proportion: failure, perhaps. At best, limited achievement.

But none of this seems to matter. In fact, a happy person with a cause seems to have totally let go of the outcome. The joy is in the struggle, in the process. They learn so much; and by living for something outside themselves, their own small problems miraculously fall into line.

Today I'll keep in mind that achievement is risky, but dedication is wonderfully liberating.

from the book:

The Promise of a New Day

by Karen Casey & Martha Vanceburg
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"You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Come through for others and they will come through for you."

Denis Waitley
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7 Gifts that Multiply Happiness

by Steve Brunkhorst

Did you know that there are gifts that will multiply your happiness when you give them away? Here are seven of those gifts. Giving these gifts will allow you to share with others your most unique treasure: your authentic self. Each gift will return to you many times.

As you read about each of these gifts, think about ways that you could share that gift with someone today.

1. Share appreciation
Tell someone how much you appreciate the faith they've shown in you. Thank them sincerely for being part of your life. Tell them how much they are needed.

Feeling appreciated is one of the most important needs that people have. When you share with someone your appreciation and gratitude, they will not forget you. Appreciation will return to you many times.

2. Share time
Balance your time expenditures so you can spend time with the people that you love. Support local organizations by sharing your special talents. Volunteer time for projects that benefit others in your community, country, and world.

When we slow down and observe our thoughts closely, we will sometimes uncover gifts and talents we didn't know we had. Sharing time and talents can result in discoveries that bring happiness beyond measure.

3. Share knowledge and ideas
Tell someone about a great book that you read so they can benefit from it too. Teach a new concept or idea that you've learned.

One of the best ways to strengthen new concepts in your mind is to share them with others. The more often you share what you've learned, the stronger that information will become in your memory. Sharing knowledge also provides solutions to problems. The more knowledge we share, the more knowledge we receive in return.

4. Share friendship
Acknowledge someone's strengths. Let them know that you are willing to be there when they need you. Visit someone you haven't seen for a long time. Telephone friends or relatives who live far away. Introduce two friends who don't know each other.

Bringing one individual into another's life can result in tremendous changes for both people, and for you. We succeed with the help of others. People grow by growing together. If you'd like to have many friends, then share friendship with others generously.

5. Share kindness
Perform a random act of kindness for someone: a smile, compliment, or a favor just for fun. These will multiply and spread very rapidly.

There is a powerful quote by Stephen Jay Gould who said, "The center of human nature is rooted in ten thousand ordinary acts of kindness that define our days." Kindness is priceless. The love, kindnesses, and value we have given authentically to others will be our remaining treasures at the end of life.

6. Share experience
Keep written or photo journals of your life: things you've done, places you've traveled, things you've learned. Record successes and failures. Share a happy memory. Also share the difficult times that have helped you become stronger and wiser. When shared, the value of these experiences multiplies.

Our unique experiences and perceptions of life are priceless. Sharing experiences will build one of the strongest bonds with others. Our descendants can learn and benefit from our lifetime experiences for generations to come.

7. Share enthusiasm
If you are excited about a new success, tell someone. If you're ecstatic about a new project, show your glow. Your enthusiasm will inspire others to move forward with actions that bring rewarding achievements.

Enthusiasm keeps us looking forward to the future. It brings many of those exciting days that we can savor with gratitude. That kind of glowing excitement for life is impossible to hide. It is contagious and will quickly spread to others.

Think about this statement by Norman MacEwan: "Happiness is not so much in having as sharing. We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give."

Sharing these gifts sends our thoughts on a far-reaching journey where they will touch many lives, and reconnect with our own. Would you like to receive these same life-enhancing gifts again and again? Begin multiplying your happiness by sharing one of these special gifts with someone today!
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"It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life, that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself."

Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Timeless joy Every joy you've experienced, even years and years ago, is still with you. Time and events can take away the conditions and surroundings of that joy, yet they can never take away the joy itself. Joy has no need of being remembered, for it is always with you. All you have to do is allow it to fill your heart, and it will.

The terrain will change, the colors will fade, the sounds will grow silent and other experiences will take their place. Yet the joy is always as fresh and new, as sweet and revitalizing as ever.

Even when memories grow dim, the joy will shine ever more brightly. For joy is truly timeless.

Put joy into your life and it will always be there. The more often you let it touch you and fill you, the more of it there will be.

Put joy into your moments and create value that you can always draw upon. Spread joy to others and you give a gift that will keep on giving, over and over again.

Ralph Marston
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"We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give."

Norman MacEwan

"There are many ways of going forward, but only one way of standing still."

Franklin D. Roosevelt
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FOCUS ON IDEA

by Vic Johnson

"No person can be confronted with a difficulty which he has not the strength to meet and subdue… Every difficulty can be overcome if rightly dealt with; anxiety is, therefore, unnecessary. The task which cannot be overcome ceases to be a difficulty and becomes an impossibility… and there is only one way of dealing with an impossibility - namely to submit to it." - Byways of Blessedness

Most people who read these articles probably think that I write them for others. The truth is, I write them for me. I need them as much or more than the folks I write for.

Several days ago when I started this I was confronted with a difficulty that I allowed to fill me with a great deal of anxiety. It's not a new difficulty or even a totally unexpected one. But I was faced with a decision that will have long-term ramifications. One of those kind of decisions that we'd rather not make - one of those decisions that makes you want to pull the covers up over your head in the morning.

James Allen's words are so incredibly penetrating on this subject because he's basically saying that there's no problem that we should be anxious about. We can either solve it or it's impossible to solve. Kind of reminds you of the Serenity Prayer doesn't it? "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the Wisdom to know the difference."

I once heard Rita Davenport give some great advice on handling most of the problems in our life: "If money can fix it, it's not a problem." Well that's great, you say, but I don't have the money to fix it, so I've got a problem. Wrong thinking. Because the truth is you're only one idea away from obtaining whatever amount of money you might need. So instead of focusing on the money you don't have (which will almost surely result in you attracting more lack into you life), focus on ideas, ideas, ideas.

There's also another great reason not to be anxious about the difficulty you're facing today - it contains a lesson. And once you master it, you will be much stronger and wiser. My long-time hero, Emmet Fox, wrote, "It is the Law that any difficulties that can come to you at any time, no matter what they are, must be exactly what you need most at the moment, to enable you to take the next step forward by overcoming them. The only real misfortune, the only real tragedy, comes when we suffer without learning the lesson."

And that's worth thinking about.

Vic Johnson
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"We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be."

May Sarton
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"Endless Possibilities Exist For All of Us"

New decisions and changes are frightening but they can also be exhilarating!

No matter what pressures you're under, what tough decisions you face, keep in mind that it is possible to turn chaos and turmoil into an exciting beginning.

Look at all the options life has to offer. Ask yourself how those options fit in with your deepest desires. Whether your desires are intellectual, artistic, spiritual, or physical, you can make a decision, now, to make them into realities.

Do this and you will soar over boundaries, and recognize that your endless possibilities have no limits.

~author unknown~
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"Let a person rejoice when he is confronted with obstacles, for it means that he has reached the end of some particular line of indifference or folly, and is now called upon to summon up all his energy and intelligence in order to extricate himself, and to find a better way; that the powers within him are crying out for greater freedom, for enlarged exercise and scope."

James Allen

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow."

Melody Beattie
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LEARNING FROM EINSTEIN'S CREATIVITY

by Ron White

One of the most famous quotes of Einstein is when he said, "Imagination is more important than knowledge." Einstein was putting value on creativity here. His theories and ideas were all about creativity. When he made a working boxcar for his son out of shoestring and some boxes, that was creativity. When he was down and out and needed money and posted an ad for tutoring lessons; that was creativity in making money.

Since Einstein accomplished some of the greatest thoughts of our time, an argument could be made that he was one of the most creative people of all time. You can know more about your product than anyone and have more degrees than anyone you know, but if you don't have a little bit of creativity to take advantage of what you have, then it is useless.

Credentials and knowledge will do you little good if you lack the creativity to take advantage of them. Einstein once said, "The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources." I think he was being a little humble and a lot humorous here, but he was once again acknowledging the importance of being creative!

So you may ask yourself, "What is creativity?"

That is an excellent question -- let's go straight to the source to answer it. Einstein said, "CREATIVITY is seeing what other see and THINKING what no one else has thought."

Robert Kennedy said the same thing this way, "I look at things that are and I ask why? I look at things that never were and ask why not?" Robert Kennedy was talking about creativity, just as Einstein was.

So how do you do it? How do you model the creativity of Albert Einstein?

First of all, we need to address the idea of the limiting belief that you are not creative.

There is a prevailing belief that creativity is an inborn trait - you are either creative or you're not. Well, while creativity is an inborn trait, we are all born with a creative brain (your right cerebral hemisphere) and have many creative skills. Children are naturally curious and eager to explore the world around them and spend hours playing with toys, making up imaginary friends and pretend games. But as we get older, we begin to lose some of our natural creativity as we learn and use more left-brain thinking skills in school and at work. Research shows that our propensity to generate original ideas reduces from 90% at age 5, to 20% at age 7 and even further to 2% as adults! However, unless you have suffered brain damage in your right hemisphere or had it surgically removed, you still have a creative brain; so you are still creative. It's just that maybe you don't use your creativity skills as much as you used to.

Now for the good news! You can reawaken your creative brainpower.

What would Einstein tell you in regards to increasing your creativity? Well, we don't have to guess on that one, because he did tell us. He said, "The important thing is to not stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing."

Develop the curiosity of a child. Leonardo Da Vinci, who is said to be one of the greatest geniuses of all time, also had this creativity. I don't think that it is a coincidence that Leonardo and Einstein were both extremely creative and that so many years after their deaths we are still talking about them.

Let me give you a few of Da Vinci's credentials:

500 years ago he:

- drew blue prints for the worlds first helicopter - drew blueprints for a submarine - built an extendable ladder that is still being used by fire departments today - built the world's first hydraulic jack - built a rotating stage - and 500 years ago he built a water powered alarm clock!

Those are some pretty amazing credentials if you ask me.

Curiosity might have "killed the cat" but it can help you think like a genius. Leonardo Da Vinci had a book of questions. In this journal of sorts he would write down questions as fast as they would pop into his head. He would write down questions such as:

why do birds fly?

why do they slow down as they land?

what do their feathers do?

The interesting thing is that he didn't worry about the answers. He simply wrote down the questions because he knew something about the power of the human mind. He knew the subconscious mind was powerful and if he wrote down the questions his subconscious mind would continue to work on the answers.

Creativity is defined by Webster as "creative ability or intellectual inventiveness." This is a skill that everyone has to some extent. There are ways to improve your ability to create and generate new ideas. Not everyone can be a great artist or a creative genius, but it makes sense to make the most of the potential we are given.

Brainstorming is an extremely good way at practicing creativity. A brainstorm can work with an individual or a group. This technique requires the generation of as many ideas as quickly as possible to solve a problem.

It does not matter how outlandish an idea might be, all ideas are written down. The ideas need to be written down, and a time limit should be imposed for accepting ideas. If this is a group brainstorm, an individual should be appointed as recorder to write down the ideas. If this is an individual project, the person should write as the thoughts come. Remember the less judgment of ideas the greater the number of ideas generated. Although many of the ideas may be unreasonable and ineffective, they may lead you to the idea that will really work. It is helpful to set a goal for the number of ideas you wish to generate. This will give you something to work toward, and may unleash the perfect solution.

Journal your thoughts for future use. This includes writing down dreams, insights, experiences, quotes, problems with friends, and any other information that is pertinent to you. This should have some kind of organization so you can look back on it periodically. You may find the answer to a problem in last month's dream, so remember to review these personal logs frequently. This system will compliment the complex subconscious mind, and allow you to retrieve from this boundless resource.

Allow your ideas to develop and follow through on them. It is said that a good idea is worth fifty cents, and the plan to implement that plan is worth millions of dollars. It has been said another way as well: Anyone who has ever taken a shower has had an idea. It is the man who gets out of the shower, dries off and does something about it that changes the world.

As you learn about creativity and the techniques that work best for you, a whole new world will open up to you. Creativity can be helpful in problem solving, dealing with people, and creating success in all areas of your life. Take the time to tap into your greatest power, the power of the imagination and increase your creativity in all areas of life.

Sometimes when we face a problem we struggle with our thoughts so much, our energy is spent. The stress that comes with this kind of problem solving also affects how we think. If the anxiety level becomes too high, parts of the brain will shut down and it is impossible to generate the ideas needed to deal with the problem. When faced with too much stress the mind goes into the "fight or flight" mode. This allows the mind to deal with only two alternatives, fighting the opponent or fleeing the danger.

You can avoid these mind numbing emotions by altering your environment. When you feel yourself getting stressed out or you begin losing your focus, walk away from everything for a change of scenery. Allow yourself to focus on another task. Some people, golf, juggle, or exercise to get away from their mind blocks. When you return to this important task, you will have shifted from your stressed out mind set to a new relaxed and ready to conquer attitude.

Blaise Pascal said, "Almost all of the problems of mankind arise from the inability to be alone with oneself in a room for any period of time."

Getting away from the problem allows your subconscious mind to problem solve, while your conscious mind is occupied with other things. Sometimes you will find the solution to your problem in your sleep. This is when the subconscious mind is most active. Basically, all your experiences and learnings are stored in this part of the brain. This is where your creativity gets turbo-powered. If you can tap into this force you will have creative powers beyond your wildest expectations.

Another good way to help your creativity is to read. That is right, read.

You see when you read your subconscious mind is automatically creating pictures whether you like it or not. So develop a passion for reading and watch your creativity increase. Both Einstein and Da Vinci were avid readers. Model this behavior and watch your creativity increase.

Einstein said that he would simply imagine it so and then go about to prove it. In other words the creative process occurred before the experiments.
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"The more you recognize and express gratitude for the things you have, the more things you will have to express gratitude for."

Zig Ziglar
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Generosity Want to give yourself an instant boost? Be generous to someone and see how great it makes you feel.

Have you been treated rudely, or been the victim of greedy manipulation? Be generous to someone and see how quickly you get beyond that bitter, negative mind-set.

Want to make this a really great day? Then spend it taking advantage of opportunities to give of yourself to others.

You don't need to have a lot of money or spare time or expertise in order to be generous. There are opportunities for sincere generosity in every situation, all day long.

With an attitude of generosity, the experience of life will rise to a higher level of richness and beauty. Each moment lived with generosity will be a moment lived with real and lasting joy.

Give of yourself. And be amazed at how very much real value you receive.

Ralph Marston
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"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them."

John Fitzgerald Kennedy

"A dream is a vision, a goal is a promise. You can keep your promises to yourself by remaining flexible, focused, and committed."

Denis Waitley
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The Rewards and Risks of Personal Freedom

By Charlie Badenhop

One of the first things I noticed about my newly purchased parrot, was that he couldn't fly. Chico's wings had been clipped and he was stuck here on earth just like us humans.

Once the weather turned nice I took Chico and sat him on a branch of a tree in my backyard, hoping to make him happier. At first he seemed confused. He walked back and forth on the branch looking like an agitated father pacing back and forth in the maternity waiting room. I was surprised to see that he didn't flap his wings in an attempt to fly. Somehow he knew he was incapable. I always wondered how he knew such a thing.

One day, while sitting on his branch, Chico got way more agitated then he had been when I first took him outside months ago. He was pacing back and forth and talking up a storm. Then all of a sudden, he stopped pacing, let out a spine tingling scream, and started madly flapping his wings for the first time ever. About three seconds later, he lifted off from the branch like the space shuttle at Cape Canaveral! I was amazed and shocked. Little did I know his feathers had been growing back in, and just like a sly convict, Chico had been biding his time until the moment was ripe for escape!

Chico made his break for freedom on a late Monday afternoon, and by late Monday night I knew he was not coming home. Finally, on Tuesday evening Chico returned, but stayed way out of reach. I talked to him and showed him some food, but to no avail. Then I took his cage inside so he would not relate coming back to getting locked up again. Finally, I made him a firm promise that if he did come back I would let him out every day the weather was nice. Shortly after making my solemn oath, he flew onto my shoulder and I took him upstairs.

From that day on, whenever the weather was good I would let him out early and he would fly around and be back before dark. This routine lasted for about two months and then suddenly Chico became ill. The vet said that he had contracted a disease from the pigeons in the neighborhood. Within a few days he died, and I mourned his loss.

Just once the thought crossed my mind that if I had not set him free to fly every day, he would still be alive. It was then that I realized that the quality of one's life is much more important than the number of years one lives. What sense is there in being a bird if you can't fly?

Chico made his initial break for freedom on a late Monday afternoon in April. When will you make yours? You too can take a chance when the conditions are right, knowing you too in your own way, were built to fly. If you don't set yourself free, what will be the purpose of your life?

I would suggest that the quality of one's life is dependant on feeling one's essence, and living the design that is you. If you are a fish, your life needs to be all about swimming. If you are a bird, your life needs to be all about flying and spreading your message to all that you meet along the way. What sense is there in being you, if you don't really let yourself free and express your heart?
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"Goals are incredible important...or impotent. You decide.

Doug Firebaugh
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"To Have Compassion For Others, You Must Have Compassion For Yourself"

Self-compassion is the ability to acknowledge your shortcomings, your vulnerability and your humanness----yet still perceive yourself as the lovable person that you are.

You can never truly give to another if you feel empty inside. You can force yourself to give, but your giving won't be genuine and you will feel resentful. This is why it's so important to care for yourself first.

No one can give a gift they don't already possess.

So, practice self-compassion today. Meet your own deepest needs. Take time for yourself, by listening to your inner voice and feeling your own emotions. Know that they are okay because you are a person and you are only human.

~author unknown~
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"Setting goals is one of the most important things you can do to guarantee your personal, professional and financial success. Goals are like a road map to your target destination. Each goal accomplished is another mile behind you on the way to where you want to be."

Mark Victor Hansen

"Your ability to delay gratification in the short-term will determine your financial success in the long-term."

Brian Tracy
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POTENTIALIZE YOUR OPPORTUNITIES

by Mark Victor Hansen
I remember watching the movie "Dead Poet's Society" when it was first released in the theatres. Robin Williams's character is a professor who wants his students to think for themselves, so he makes them stand on top of their desks to view things in a different way. That really stuck with me.

When you think about it, people hardly ever look at the world through their own eyes. They get their information filtered through the eyes of others, whether they're the eyes of the media, politicians, friends or family. But what looks like one thing to someone may look totally different to someone else. To really see what's going on in the world, to see what opportunities exist for us, we have to see the world through our own eyes in our own way.

We all need to recognize and potentialize opportunities when we see them. What do I mean by potentialize? When something has potential it has power, it expresses possibility, it is influential and effective.

As we go through each day we should be on the lookout for any situation that expresses possibility. Any situation. To attain the success you desire you have to recognize possibility everywhere and then stretch and flex your mind to create million-dollar ideas. And you're not limited to just one. The more you practice seeing the possible in daily life, the better you will become. Then you take those small possibilities and potentialize them and create great monetary abundance.

We all have the ability to potentialize opportunities and create phenomenal wealth. And the amazing thing is that there are multiple possibilities for potentalizing in every situation! Just because someone comes up with a new way to do something doesn't mean that there isn't yet another way to do it. We have each been blessed with individual characteristics and abilities that no one else has. We each have our own special way of doing things. And that means we each have the ability to potentialize in our own unique way.

'Be grateful for your problems, for they stimulate an 'I-can-solve-it' new attitude.'

Mark Victor Hansen
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"The best thing about the future is that it only comes one day at a time."

Abraham Lincoln
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"Anything that you should have done, but didn't, ties you to your past"

Is your mental and emotional clutter getting in the way of a fulfilling life? It's time to clean out the "need-to's," "have-to's," and "ought-to's," from your past. When you have regrets it's tough to move forward and grow.

Put the past in the past. Return anything you borrowed. Make apologies where needed. Get your bills up to date. Send the card or gift that you forgot to send. Make the phone call you need to make.

Taking care of these things cleans your mental slate and eliminates any regrets or resentments you may harbor.

Now, take a deep breath; look ahead. Both your conscience, and your future vision, is clear.

Meditations For Women
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"Make your decisions for your tomorrows not just your todays."

Patricia Fripp

The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak.

Hans Hofmann
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ACHIEVING YOUR DREAMS

by Jim Rohn

While most people spend most of their lives struggling to earn a living, a much smaller number seem to have everything going their way. Instead of just earning a living, the smaller group is busily working at building and enjoying a fortune. Everything just seems to work out for them. And here sits the much larger group, wondering how life can be so unfair, so complicated and unjust. What's the major difference between the little group with so much and the larger group with so little?

Despite all of the factors that affect our lives - like the kind of parents we have, the schools we attended, the part of the country we grew up in - none has as much potential power for affecting our futures as our ability to dream.

Dreams are a projection of the kind of life you want to lead. Dreams can drive you. Dreams can make you skip over obstacles. When you allow your dreams to pull you, they unleash a creative force that can overpower any obstacle in your path. To unleash this power, though, your dreams must be well defined. A fuzzy future has little pulling power. Well-defined dreams are not fuzzy. Wishes are fuzzy. To really achieve your dreams, to really have your future plans pull you forward, your dreams must be vivid.

If you've ever hiked a fourteen thousand-foot peak in the Rocky Mountains, one thought has surely come to mind "How did the settlers of this country do it?" How did they get from the East Coast to the West Coast? Carrying one day's supply of food and water is hard enough. Can you imagine hauling all of your worldly goods with you... mile after mile, day after day, month after month? These people had big dreams. They had ambition. They didn't focus on the hardship of getting up the mountain.

In their minds, they were already on the other side – their bodies just hadn't gotten them there yet! Despite all of their pains and struggles, all of the births and deaths along the way, those who made it to the other side had a single vision: to reach the land of continuous sunshine and extraordinary wealth. To start over; where anything and everything was possible. Their dreams were stronger than the obstacles in their way.

You've got to be a dreamer. You've got to envision the future. You've got to see California while you're climbing fourteen thousand-foot peaks. You've got to see the finish line while you're running the race. You've got to hear the cheers when you're in the middle of a monster project. And you've got to be willing to put yourself through the paces of doing the uncomfortable until it becomes comfortable and until you realize your dreams.

To Your Success,

Jim Rohn
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If you believe that feeling bad or worrying long enough will change a past or future event, then you are residing on another planet with a different reality system.

William James
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Would you think differently about your problems if they were not yours, but instead were being experienced by someone else? Consider for a moment the most difficult problem you currently face. Now, imagine that you're not the person experiencing the problem, that you're only an observer.
In such a situation, what advice would you give to the person experiencing the problem? Would you advise that person to become depressed? Of course not. Would you advise that person to run and hide from the problem? Certainly not! Would you advise that person to take positive, productive, sustained actions that will deal with the problem? Sure you would.
So, is that what you're doing? Are you following your own advice? Or have you allowed the problem to take over your thinking?
Your problems do not define you. You can detach yourself from them just as surely as if they were being experienced by someone else. Step back and look objectively at the challenges you face. Don't allow your problems to cloud your thinking just because you're the person who happens to be experiencing them. Think clearly, act decisively and keep moving yourself positively forward.
Ralph Marston
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"If you're laser beam focused on your "to do" list at the expense of seeing what is happening around you, you may be able to check items off the list and not meet your desired outcome."

Jim Canterucci

"Do yourself a favor and master the art of money. Treat it as an honored guest in your life, one who will quickly flee if you do not treat her well, but one who will stay and enrich your life beyond measure if you treat her with care and respect."

Philip E. Humbert
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7 KEYS FOR JOYFUL LIVING!

by Chris Widener

Here are some thoughts for finding and experiencing joy in your life. If there were one thing I could wish upon my family, friends and the readers of this Ezine, it would be joy in everything they do!

Know your purpose. Nothing will bring you joy more than knowing what it is that you are about on this earth. Not knowing brings sadness, wondering, fear and lack of fulfillment. Above all, find out what your unique purpose is here on this earth - then fulfill it! As you do, you will experience joy!

Live purposefully. This is a follow up to number one. It is one thing to know your purpose, but then you need to live according to that purpose. This is a matter of priorities. Let your actions and schedule reflect your purpose. Don't react to circumstances and let them cause you to live without your purpose fully in site. Living without your purpose will cause frustration. Living purposefully will bring you deep satisfaction and joy!

Stretch yourself. Don't settle into the status quo. That will leave you unfulfilled. Always look to stretch yourself. Whatever you are doing, stretch yourself to do more! Stretching yourself will break the limits you have set for yourself and will cause you to find joy in your expanded horizons!

Give more than you take. It brings happiness to accumulate. It brings joy to give away. Sure, getting the car you worked hard for will bring you a sense of satisfaction and even happiness. But it won't bring you joy. Giving something away to the less fortunate will bring you deep, abiding joy.

Surprise yourself and others too. The words here are spontaneity and surprise! Every once in a while, do the unexpected. It will cause everybody to sit back and say, "Wow, where did that come from?" It will put a little joy in your life, and theirs.

Indulge yourself sometimes. Too much indulgence and you are caught in the happiness trap; looking for the next purchase, celebration, etc., to bring you a little "happiness high." But if you will allow yourself an infrequent indulgence as a reward for a job well done and a life well lived, you will appreciate the indulgence and experience the joy of it.

Laugh a little - no, a lot! Most people are just too serious. We need to laugh a little - no, a lot! Learn to laugh daily, even if you have to learn to laugh in bad situations. This life is to be enjoyed! The next time you go to the movie rental store, get a comedy and let loose! Let yourself laugh!

Joy can be yours! Look for it, pursue it and enjoy it!
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"Earn all you can, give all you can, save all you can."

John Wesley
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With Each Day...

May I positively impact the life of another, and smile more than frown;

Put service and compassion before my own renown;

Meet adversity with courage, sorrow with hope;

Have Faith to face uncertainty, and resiliency to cope;

With joy as my companion, and truth as my guide;

May I walk the path of excellence, gaining knowledge with each stride;

To see the good that lies within each person in suppression;

And through love and understanding, bring it forth into expression;Though this day may bring new challenges, yet not manifest;

May I ever be reminded how much my life is blessed.

Robert Akers
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"Design your financial future in every respect, and then make a plan to achieve it."

Brian Tracy

"Everything depends upon execution; having just a vision is no solution.

"Stephen Sondheim
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The Principle Of Agreement

Dale Carnegie, author of the classic, "How to Win Friends and Influence People" <http://www.amazon.com> eloquently taught that there is no winning an argument. It makes sense, doesn't it? After all, if you lose on merit, you've lost. However, even if you win on merit (showing the other person that you are right and they are wrong), you most likely still won't get them to take the action you want. Why? Because their ego; that all-important decision-making instrument indigenous to the human being, has been insulted. When that is the case, know that although you may be able to convince, rarely will you persuade.

So, what do you do when the other person says something you know is wrong? Well, agree. At first, anyway. This can be a wonderful way to disarm the person who, most likely, expects you to argue. But you aren't doing that. You are agreeing. And, this leads to what I call The Principle of Agreement: "Nobody is going to argue...with himself." Think of it - after agreeing with him or her, might they respond by defiantly saying, "No, you're wrong, I was wrong!" :-) I don't think so.

Now, at this point, you'll go into some of the other methods of positive persuasion we've discussed often and will continue to. (If you've been printing out your issues you can go back and find plenty; certainly too many to list here.) A couple of good "bridge phrases" you can use are "I'm wondering if..." or "Here's what I'm thinking..." and then make your suggestion. The key is, you've effectively brought down the other person's defenses and made them much more amenable to your point of view. Positive persuasion is now within reach.

Do you agree? If not, agree anyway...before you persuade me otherwise, that is. :-)

Bob Burg Proper credit of "Bob Burg is author of "Winning Without Intimidation: How to Master the Art of Positive Persuasion"
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"Some people plant in the spring and leave in the summer. If you've signed up for a season, see it through. You don't have to stay forever, but at least stay until you see it through.

" Jim Rohn
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"The Person You Choose To Be With Should Support Your Dreams and Respect Your Values"

Being accepted is a requirement in all relationships. Nobody wants to be with someone who rejects them for what they believe, or judges them for certain traits of their personality.

You're entitled to your own decisions, beliefs, goals, etc. When someone truly loves you, they love the whole package you come in. This includes the physical you, the emotional you and the dreams and values that come along with you.

After all, that's the true beauty of being an individual. And, the one you choose to be with should be grateful.

-Meditations For Women-
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"Follow up and follow through until the task is completed, the prize won."

Brian Tracy

"What this power is I cannot say; all I know is that it exists and it becomes available only when a man is in that state of mind in which he knows exactly what he wants and is fully determined not to quit until he finds it."

Alexander Graham Bell
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WHY ACCEPTING CHANGE IS VITAL TO YOUR PROFESSIONAL SUCCESS

by Connie Podesta

Like it or not, change is an integral part of today's business climate. Those employees who embrace and initiate change will thrive, while those who complain and fear change may be headed for the unemployment line.

Employers feel strongly about the need to have employees who are successful change agents for their team and their organization as a whole. What exactly is a "change agent?" An agent is someone who represents the interests of another person or organization, and his or her job is to take care of business and make sure everything goes smoothly. Thus, a change agent helps take care of an employer's business by facilitating change.

Are you a change agent for your organization? Can others count on you to make sure things go smoothly? Do you continue to take care of business in the midst of change?

Although some employees have been conditioned to fear change, we must not lose sight of the fact that change is normal, and most of us will experience unpredictable changes in both our personal and professional lives. In the workplace, changes can occur as a result of new thinking, advances in technology, innovation and progress, knowledge and communication, as well as mergers, takeovers, layoffs, and downsizing. These organizational changes can directly affect our professional lives as well as our personal lives. They may also lead to feelings of sadness, frustration, grief, and anger, especially when jobs are lost or worse, when an entire organization ceases to exist. So let's discuss how we can make this normal life experience-change-as positive and beneficial as possible.

What's Wrong with Change?

Employers want commitment to change when it's necessary. Knowing that, then, why are so many people resistant to it? The number one reason is fear, although very few people are willing to admit it. None of us want to acknowledge that we doubt our ability to integrate new ideas, use new technology, or adapt to new organizations. We don't even want to think about what's ahead: new management, new ways of doing things, new terminology, new titles, and new job description. Fear can have several components:

1. Fear of the unknown: What will happen to my organization, my job, my life, as I know it now? How secure is my future?

2. Fear of not being in control: What should I do? Should I just wait around while they make decisions that could seriously affect my life?

3. Fear of being inadequate: I know how to do this job now, but will I be able to do it as well as they expect me to when everything has changed? And if I can't, what happens then?

4. Fear of moving outside your personal comfort zone: I've been doing my job this way for years, and I'm very good at it. Why do we have to change what has worked so well for so long?

No matter which category your fear falls in, one thing is for sure. The more we fight and resist the change, the more painful and frightening the changes will be. Resisting doesn't keep a new idea from taking hold; it simply makes the process longer and more painful. Change will happen no matter what. We will handle it better when we learn to move with the change-not against it. Plus, this is definitely not the time to drag your feet because managers are not inclined to take employees by the hand and lead them through the change process.

Communication is Key:

There is no doubt that employees often view change from a different perspective than their supervisors. Many employees believe that management doesn't understand their side of the story, and managers often feel it is the employees who don't understand why the change is necessary. This is why communication is so vital during any change circumstance. It's been said that lack of communication is the number one reason why personal relationships can develop problems, and the same holds true for relationships between employers and employees. Change will require open communication on both sides. Unfortunately, fear has the power to freeze employees in their tracks and prevent them from expressing their ideas and opinions.

When faced with change we must always ask ourselves this important question: Does my resistance to change have anything to do with my own fears? That's a tough question and one that's not easy to answer honestly. It's natural to fear the unknown and lack of control. We know that we won't be quite as proficient at our tasks while we're in the process of learning to do things a new way. We know we will have to work a lot harder. Are we willing to let go of the present to embrace the future? We may not know what the future will bring, but we are responsible for what we bring to the future.

The Positive Side of Change

If you routinely describe your current job as boring, mundane, or menial, then perhaps a change is good for you. One of the most positive aspects of change is that it is never boring. On the contrary, it can create passion. And passion-and the excitement, creativity, and energy that accompany it-is the spark that keeps us going.

Passion could be called the charge for our life's batteries. Without that charge, it's hard to get our engines revved up. That igniting charge is sparked by the challenge of change-learning new things, meeting new people, growing as professionals, and taking risks that push us to reach our potential. None of that can happen unless and until we are willing to experience the fear that inevitably arises when we move out of our comfort zones. No risk, no fear; no fear, no passion; no passion, no fun.

If we want passion back in our lives, we must be willing to meet the challenge of change. What might that mean for you? Perhaps it might involve going back to school, learning how to work with a computer, working with a team, taking on new responsibilities, or redefining a career path. If you want to remain employable, you may have to change more than just your attitude and your reaction to change. You may have to change some of your ideas and goals to create a better future for yourself.

Embrace Upcoming Changes:

Many people are content to live their lives by playing it safe. If fear, pain, and hard work are prerequisites of change, it's easier to understand why some people are so dedicated to resisting it. They might be good at giving all the best-sounding reasons why this particular change is not right for the department, the organization, the team, or the customer. However, their underlying concern may be their fear about how the change will affect them-their job-their lives.

If you've been reacting negatively to change, it's important to modify your attitude and your behavior before it's too late. Think about what you really want. Comfort at all costs? The status quo? The good old days? If those are the aspects you desire-if that's what you're waiting for-then you will probably soon be out of a job. If, instead, you want challenge and welcome change, you will always be employable.
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"You will become as small as your controlling desire, or as great as your dominant aspiration." James Allen
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"If You Have Unresolved Family Conflicts, Lay Them To Rest"

When it comes to family, we all tend to carry unpleasant memories with us throughout our lives. If this goes unchanged we can become bitter and resentful.

If you have deep family issues that are hard to forgive and forget, make today the day you move forward. Put them behind you and try to be more positive about the time you have now. You can not change the bad things that have happened to you, but you can choose to stop letting them control you.

Life is too short to carry grudges that separate you from those people that you want near and dear to the heart.

~author unknown~
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"Emphasize everything and you emphasize nothing."

Herschell Gordon Lewis

"Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up interest wrinkles the soul." Douglas MacArthur
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ANCHOR YOUR RELATIONSHIPS by Chris Widener

I heard a speaker recently who was talking about how to maintain strong relationships. As I listened to his basic principle, I realized that it is true in all of our life situations, be it work, family etc. And let's face it, relationships are what make the world go 'round. So strong healthy relationships will make your work more enjoyable, and prosperous, and will make your family and friend relationships better as well.

What was the principle? The speaker said that each point of connection is like an anchor in the relationship, and the more connections you have, the stronger the relationship will be. He calls one-connection relationships "Simplex," and multi-connection relationships, "Multiplex." The strongest relationships are multiplex.

There is also the idea that some connections are stronger than others and so you want as many connections as possible and you want those connections to be as strong as they can be as well. Confused? Let's put some legs on this. We'll take a business situation and we'll take a family situation to illustrate the principle.

Anchoring work relationships. Let's say you sell insurance. A guy walks in and says, "I would like to purchase some term life insurance." You have a simplex relationship. The connection is that you both want him to have insurance. As you get to know him better and get information from him, you realize that you have a multiplex relationship growing and the chance that your business relationship will grow is improving.

"You grew up in Iowa? Me too!" "You like to golf? Me too!" "Your wife and you like to go to the opera? So do we! We should go together sometime."

The multiple connections are anchoring your relationship.

Anchoring a family relationship. Let's take a marriage in trouble. Chances are that at one time, the relationship was multiplex. Because of time, work, and other stresses, the marriage has deteriorated to the point where both are thinking, "What did I marry this person for?" Or "Why do I stay?" The chances are that now the relationship is simplex. Maybe it is that the one connection is that they want to do right by the kids and so they "Tough it out." What is the answer? I believe that it is regaining a multiplex relationship. Work hard to make those other anchoring connections. Did you used to play tennis together before the kids came along? Go play tennis together on a regular basis. Do you both have a common interest in a specific cause or charity, but time hasn't allowed you to pursue it? Take the time! It will anchor your relationship again!

I think you get the point.

Take some time to think about your current relationships. Are they as multiplex as they can be or as they used to be? Think about the new relationships you will make in the coming weeks or months. Think of ways you can make them strong by finding multiple connections, securing deeper and more fulfilling relationships.

Make your relationships "multiplex" and you make them strong, with an anchor that will not let them go!
******************************************** "I am neither especially clever nor especially gifted. I am only very, very curious." Albert Einstein
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Make use

The very best way to be thankful for the good things you have is to make use of them. The essence of each blessing is the positive possibility it holds.

The best way to be thankful for the love in your life is to live and express that love in each moment. Give your time, your thoughts, your presence and your feelings to the people you love, for those are the gifts that will truly be treasured.

The best way to be thankful for your life is to make something of it. Every day you have the opportunity to live with meaning and with purpose.

Every day you have the opportunity to make positive, beneficial use of the goodness that fills your world. The more of that goodness you appreciate and utilize, the more that goodness will grow.

The way to sincerely give thanks is to give your energy to the positive possibilities. For you have the power to bring those possibilities to life.

And to do so is, after all, the greatest form of gratitude. For it acknowledges the richest blessings, and makes them more and more.

Ralph Marston
****************************************** "The mark of a truly civilized man is confidence in the strength and security derived from the inquiring mind." Felix Frankfurter

I've learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances.

Martha Washington
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HOW TO SQUEEZE THE MOST OUT OF YOUR TIME

by Brian Tracy

How do you start your day? Years ago I started planning mine by writing everything down I would have to do, the night before. I found that drawing up your list the night before prompts your subconscious to work on your plans and goals while you sleep. When you wake up, you feel ready to tackle your challenges.

When prioritizing and planning your time, consider the following points:

Key questions

What is the highest value-added action I can do? What can I, and only I, do that I've done well before to make a difference? Why am I on the payroll?

The answers to these questions help identify all that needs to be done and in what order. That, in turn, will bolster personal productivity.

Values

Decide what's important to you, and in what order. Make sure your values don't conflict with work. Energy spent worrying diminishes your abilities.

Consequences

Every action has consequences - good and bad. Consider what rewards you'd reap by completing a task. Then, compare those rewards with the consequences of putting it aside. This process makes it easier to see which goals have a higher value.

The Pareto Principle

Vilfredo Pareto, a 19th-century engineer, argued that 20% of what you do accounts for 80% of the value. When considering the importance of a task, ask yourself whether it's among the 20% that creates the most value.

Urgency vs. Importance

An unexpected phone call or a drop-in visitor may be urgent, but the consequences of dealing with either may not be important in the long run.

The urgent is other-oriented; it's caused by someone else. Important things are self-directed and have the greatest value for you.

The Limiting Step

Standing between you and what you want to achieve is the limiting step. That's the bottleneck that determines how quickly you can reach your goal. It's important to identify that step and focus single-mindedly on getting that one thing done.

A Written Plan

Lists of goals, tasks and objectives are of no help unless they're written. Putting your plans on paper makes a seemingly elusive goal more concrete. There's a connection that takes place between the brain and the hand. When you don't write it down, it's fuzzy, but as you write it and revise it, it becomes clear.

Visualization

See yourself doing what you need to get done. Visualization trains the subconscious to focus on completing tasks. Say, for example, that you want to begin each morning by exercising. Visualizing yourself doing sit-ups and push-ups the night before conditions the mind to do those the next day. When you prime you mind, it wakes you up even before the alarm clock goes off.

Remember you are a winner and preparation goes a long way in helping you achieve all your goals.
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Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.

Louisa May Alcott
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"Anything that you should have done, but didn't, ties you to your past"

Is your mental and emotional clutter getting in the way of a fulfilling life? It's time to clean out the "need-to's," "have-to's," and "ought-to's," from your past. When you have regrets it's tough to move forward and grow.

Put the past in the past. Return anything you borrowed. Make apologies where needed. Get your bills up to date. Send the card or gift that you forgot to send. Make the phone call you need to make.

Taking care of these things cleans your mental slate and eliminates any regrets or resentments you may harbor.

Now, take a deep breath; look ahead. Both your conscience, and your future vision, is clear.
-Meditations For Women-
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Vocabulary enables us to interpret and to express. If you have a limited vocabulary, you will also have a limited vision and a limited future.

Jim Rohn

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.

Eleanor Roosevelt
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A SENSE OF URGENCY IS TREMENDOUS

by Charlie "Tremendous" Jones

Perhaps my findings are not the only solution, but with all my heart I believe the fires of greatness in our heart can be kept aglow only after we develop a sense of urgency and importance for what we are doing. I mean a sense of urgency to the extent that we feel it is a matter of life and death; and it is a matter of life and death, for in growing we are alive and in quitting we are dying in a sense. If you don't believe this, talk to anyone who has lost the sense of urgency of getting things done and has been drifting in complacency, mediocrity and failure. If you are without a sense of urgency in your work, you know what I mean.

A sense of urgency is that feeling that lets you know yesterday is gone forever, tomorrow never comes. TODAY is in your hands. It lets you know that shirking today's task will add to wasted yesterdays and postponing today's work will add to tomorrow's burden. The sense of urgency causes you to accomplish what today sets before you. Thank God for the sense of urgency that can change a dull, shabby existence into a sparkling life. Right now, ask God to give you a sense of urgency. Believe that He did, and then act accordingly.

Tremendously,

Charles "T" Jones
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Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact. Henry James
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"Practice in The Silence"

In his 1918 work, "The Power of Concentration" (re-published by Mike Litman, <http://www.powerofconcentration.net/>), the author, Theron Dumont wrote, "It is necessary to be silent before you can speak wisely." True enough, as stated. But then he goes on to write something that we've mentioned in several past issues, though I believe he says it much better and more powerfully than I have.

According to Dumont, "The person who is really alert and well poised and able to speak wisely under trying circumstance, is the person who has practiced in the silence."

I see two different interpretations - or levels - regarding what Mr. Dumont wrote:

#1 The silence itself must be practiced. In other words, how difficult is it for most people (myself included) to remain silent after hearing someone say something with which you disagree. Don't you just want to spring back with an answer? Well, what happens when you do that? There are several possible results, amongst which are:

A. You didn't understand exactly what the other person was really saying but, instead, allowed your personal belief system/paradigm/world model to interpret it for you, thus you responded to something the other person didn't actually mean.

B. You answer without first forming a clear idea as to what you want to say and how you can best say it so, even your answer lacks the meaning you would have given it had you taken a moment to think it out.

C. You cause the other person to resent you for jumping down his/her throat the very nanosecond they finished their sentence.

None of these options makes for effective and persuasive communication. For this alone, it seems as though it would be a great idea for all of us to practice (getting into) the silence. In other words, practice holding our tongues until we've first allowed silence to buffer the response.

The second interpretation I see of Mr. Dumont's statement however is, I believe, the more meaningful. In "practicing in the silence" he is teaching us to be comfortable in the silence and even allowing the silence to be our guide. There is actually wisdom within the silence.

He writes, "Speech interferes with the focusing powers of the mind, as it withdraws the attention to the external and therefore is hardly to be compared with that deep silence of the subconscious mind, where deep thoughts, and the silent forces of high potency are evolved.

So, as an exercise for this week, perhaps we can all keep within our awareness the goal to practice being silent before speaking, to practice not only being silent, but to practice *in* the silence.

Bob BurgBob Burg is author of"Winning Without Intimidation: How to Master the Art of PositivePersuasion"
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Willpower is the key to success. Successful people strive no matter what they feel by applying their will to over-come apathy, doubt or fear.

Dan Millman

"Don't wait for an employer, friend, or mentor to show appreciation for your work. Take pride in your own efforts on a daily basis."

Denis Waitley
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People in our Lives

by Catherine Pulsifer

I sat reflecting on the past year when my friend Charley came into the room. Charley took one look at my face and she could tell I was off in another world. Charley immediately snapped me out of my thoughts by saying, "you have that look on your face!". I immediately laughed and said, "Oh Charley, I was just reflecting on the past year".

Charley has always had the ability of drawing everything out of me. She can read my face and she knows when I am deep in thought; she knows when I am upset; she knows when I am happy. She sat down and said, "Tell me what your were thinking".

"Well Charley", I replied, "I was listening to a song on the radio that asked what have you done over the last year. I was thinking about the last year. When I reflect on the year, I have had such good fortune, with a few bumps along the way. Charley, at the beginning of the year my life was in such turmoil, challenges with my work, challenges financially, major decisions that I had to make and now here we are at the end of the year and so much has happened".

Charley immediately focused my thoughts and asked, "Tell me about the three things that impacted you the most during this year"?

I sat thinking if I had to pick only three things that impacted me what would they be? After a few minutes, I looked Charley straight in the eye and said, "Okay here are the three things that impacted me the most: 1. My family. I realized they are the most important part of my life. Throughout the year I had many challenges, but my family were always there offering support and encouragement. My husband. He understands and supports me even when I perhaps don't deserve such support. I have great children who make me proud. My parents, my sister and brothers are always there for me no matter what is happening in my life. 2. My friends. Over the years I have shared my dreams and my goals with my friends. Some goals I have realized and other goals I have not. But friends like you Charley always supported and encouraged me. It really has made a difference. As you know, I am going to make some major changes in my life in the coming year realizing a goal that is about 5 years behind but is finally coming to realization. A goal that will take me many miles away from my dear friends like you Charley but you still supported and encouraged me. 3. My colleagues. I have worked with some amazing people over the last year. People of whom I had a different perception. But, once I worked with them I realized how wrong my perception was. Sometimes, we past judgment on people and we really don't realize what they are all about. This year, I had many of my perceptions change. I have been very, very fortunate to have the opportunity to work with some excellent people over the last year.

Also Charley, the people who I have met through my website. People like M. K; Claire; Jackie; Josh; and others who have contributed to my website. They have truly had an impact on my life. They have shared their talents and contributed to my site not expecting anything in return only to help make a positive contribution to other peoples lives."

Charley smiled and said, "Do you realize that everything you have said has one thing in common"?

"What are you saying, Charley?" I asked.

She replied, "The one common denominator is people. The material things in your life, nor your actual job have had the most meaning in your life. It is the people in your life that have had the biggest impact. People have made the biggest difference in your life!"

I smiled. Leave it to Charley to see this and point it out to me. Material things are not important, and while our jobs provide the means, the important things in life are the people who touched our lives.
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"Fifteen to thirty minutes of training a day will make any employee a world class expert in five years."

Jeffrey Gitomer
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Dare To Dance Outside the Lines

Today is the day to give yourself permission to break the rules, to move outside the boundaries of your usual way of looking at things. For the time being, forget about practical, realistic ideas. Dare to go beyond the self-censorship that comes from worrying about what other people think.

When you follow your heart and dismiss unimportant "shoulds," you open the door to creative, spiritual and personal breakthroughs. Try it....today!

-Meditations for Women-
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"The difference between failure and success is doing a thing nearly right and doing a thing exactly right."

Edward Simmons

If you have knowledge, let others light their candles in it.

Margaret Fuller
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If and When Were Planted

By Catherine Pulsifer

How is "if and when" planted? The short stories below are examples of planting "if and when":

Karen, one of my coworkers was stressed about where she was living. She hated the apartment she was in and complained every day about it. One day over coffee, I asked her why she didn't look for another apartment - it seemed like an easy solution to me. Karen's reply to this was, "I will look for another apartment when I come back from vacation."

Sam hated his job. He dreaded getting up in the morning. He hated the work he was doing and it started to take a toll on him. He had a love for photography and was currently taking a two-year course to obtain his certificate. Every night he complained about his work. After listening to his complaints for a month, I asked him why he didn't finish his course and start a small business doing photography on the weekends. His reply, "if only I had more time to finish my course. When I finish my course I will start a business."

Sarah had saved all her life and now was retired and living comfortably. The house she bought had a dishwasher in it; however, the dishwasher was old and didn't work. She hated doing dishes, and every time we visited with her she complained about doing the dishes. One night, I asked her, "Why don't you buy a new dishwasher Sarah." Her reply, "I have been thinking about it, if they would only come on sale I would."

Larry worked for a company that allowed early retirement. Larry had both the years of service and his age, which allowed him to retire, but at a reduced pension. He was having difficulty coping with all the changes that were being made in his work. He had a couple of mild attacks, not a heart attack but similar to one. He called me and we talked for hours. I was worried about the stress of his job and the effects it was having on his health. "Why don't you retire Harry? Do something that you have always wanted to do," I asked. Harry's reply to my question was, "If only I was older then I would get my full pension." I got bolder in my conversation with him, "But Harry, you have your house paid off, you have no bills, the kids are grown up. You could sell your house and downsize, it really is not worth your health is it? Harry then said, "When the summer comes maybe I will."

All of these stories have the same theme running through them. There is a proverb that says it all: "If and when were planted, and nothing grew."

Now a year later, Karen is still living in the apartment she hates! Sam is still complaining about his job and still has not finished his course! Sarah is still washing dishes! Larry is still working and his health is not what it used to be!

The sad part of all of these stories is that all of these people had a lot of stress in their lives that they could have taken action to reduce. But, all of them defeated themselves by thinking "if" or "when". Life is too short for "if's and when's".

The next time you are in a stressful situation and you find yourself saying or thinking - "if or when" - remember the saying, "If and when were planted and nothing grew!" Change your thinking and take action, so that you can reduce your stress right now.

Quotes on procrastination:

"To be always intending to make a new and better life but never to find time to set about it is as...to put off eating and drinking and sleeping from one day to the next until you're dead." Og Mandino

"The two rules of procrastination: 1) Do it today. 2) Tomorrow will be today tomorrow." Author Unknown

"Someday is not a day of the week." Author Unknown

"Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week." Spanish Proverb
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"There is nothing like a dream to create the future."

Victor Hugo
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Patience and understanding Here's something to keep in mind as you go through this hectic day. The person who benefits most from your patience is you. Yes, you'll come across many people who are rude, annoying and self-centered. But does it really serve any positive purpose for you to sink to their depths of negativity?

Instead, take the opportunity to rise to a higher level of peacefulness and understanding. Take the opportunity to practice and strengthen your patience.

Patience and understanding will take you to places where anger, frustration, confusion and anxiety can never reach. Patience and understanding put you in a position of real power and effectiveness.

Practice patience, and you will build real strength. Live with patience and understanding, and a whole new world of valuable opportunities will open up to you.

There's nothing to be gained by reacting to rudeness and anxiety with more rudeness and anxiety of your own making. Respond instead with patience and understanding, and you'll make your world a much better place.

Ralph Marston
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"Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent."

Victor Hugo

Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one...
Eleanor Roosevelt
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THE POWER OF THREE LITTLE WORDS

Some of the most significant messages people deliver to one another often come in just three words. When spoken or conveyed, those statements have the power to forge new friendships, deepen old ones and restore relationships that have cooled.

The following three word phrases can enrich every relationship:

I'LL BE THERE - Being there for another person is the greatest gift we can give. When we are truly present for other people, important things happen to them and to us. We are renewed in love and friendship. We are restored emotionally and spiritually. 'Being there' is at the very, very core of civility.

I MISS YOU - Perhaps more marriages could be salvaged and strengthened if couples simply and sincerely said to each other, "I miss you." This powerful affirmation tells partners they are wanted, needed, desired and loved.

I RESPECT YOU - Respect is another way of showing love. Respect conveys the feeling that another person is a true equal. It is a powerful way to affirm the importance of a relationship.

MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT - This phrase is highly effective in diffusing an argument and restoring frayed emotions. The flip side of "maybe you're right" is the humility of admitting "maybe I'm wrong."

PLEASE FORGIVE ME - Many broken relationships could be restored and healed if people would admit their mistakes and ask for forgiveness. All of us are vulnerable to faults, foibles and failures. A man should never be ashamed to own up to he has been in the wrong, which is by saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.

I THANK YOU - Gratitude is an exquisite form of courtesy. People who enjoy the companionship of good, close friends are those who don't take daily courtesies for granted. They are quick to thank their friends for their many expressions of kindness. On the other hand, people whose circle of friends is severely constricted often do not have the attitude of gratitude.

COUNT ON ME - "A friend is one who walks in when others walk out." "Loyalty is an essential ingredient for true friendship; it is the emotional glue that bonds people. Those who are rich in their relationships tend to be steady and true friends. When troubles come, a good friend is there, indicating "you can count on me."

LET ME HELP - The best of friends see a need and try to fill it. When they spot a hurt they do what they can to heal it. Without being asked, they pitch in and help.

I UNDERSTAND YOU - People become closer and enjoy each other more if they feel the other person accepts and understands them. Letting others know in so many little ways that you understand him or her is one of the most powerful tools for healing your relationship.

GO FOR IT - Some of your friends may be non-conformists, have unique projects and unusual hobbies. Support them in pursuing their interests. Rather than urging your loved ones to conform, encourage their uniqueness - everyone has dreams that no one else has.

I suppose the 3 little words that you were expecting to see have to be reserved for those who are special; that is I LOVE YOU.

Author Unknown
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"The main thing in one's own private world is to try to laugh as much as you cry."

Maya Angelou
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FOLLOW YOUR BLISS

by Steve Goodier

Author Joseph Campbell often talked about "following your bliss." I heard of a bus driver in Chicago who does just that. He sings while he drives. That's right... sings! And I don't mean he sings softly to himself, either. He sings so that the whole bus can hear! All day long he drives and sings.

He was once interviewed on Chicago television. He said that he is not actually a bus driver. "I'm a professional singer," he asserted. "I only drive the bus to get a captive audience every single day.

His "bliss" is not driving a bus, though that may be a source of enjoyment for some people. His bliss is singing. And the supervisors at the Chicago Transit Authority are perfectly happy about the whole arrangement. You see, people line up to ride his bus. They even let other busses pass by so they can ride with the "singing bus driver." They love it!

Here is a man who believes he knows why he was put here on earth. For him, it is to make people happy. And the more he sings, the more people he makes happy! He has found a way to align his purpose in living with his occupation. By following his bliss, he is actually living the kind of life he believes he was meant to live.

Not everybody can identify a purpose in life. But when you do, and when you pursue it, you will be living the kind of life you feel you were meant to live. And what's more, you will be happy
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"Every great mistake has a halfway moment, a split second when it can be recalled and perhaps remedied."

Pearl S. Buck

"Life is so hard...unless you allow it to be easy… it will be whatever you expect it to be..."

Doug Firebaugh
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ACHIEVING SUCCESS BY EXPECTING SUCCESS

by Zig Ziglar

When you plan and prepare carefully, you can legitimately expect to have success in your efforts. When you recognize and develop the winning qualities that you were born with, the winner you were born to be emerges. When you plan and prepare to make a sale, for example, you can legitimately expect to make a sale. Although not all your expectations are going to come to pass, you give yourself an infinitely better chance of succeeding by taking the proper steps. Regardless of your goal--losing weight, making more sales, furthering your education, earning a promotion, saving money for a new home or an exotic vacation--you can expect to achieve your goal if you plan and prepare for it.

Also understand that the path from where you are to where you want to be is not always smooth and straight. The reason for the twists and bumps is simple, and it has nothing to do with you. It has more to do with the fact that not everyone is as interested in your success as you are. Some people may accidentally hinder your efforts; others who are in competition with you and have little or no integrity may try to sabotage your efforts.

Keep in mind, though, that when you hit those roadblocks your character, commitment, and attitude are the determining factors in your success... Carefully review your plan of action, seek wise counsel, and be particularly careful to feed your mind good information. An optimistic, positive mind is far more likely to come up with creative solutions than a mind that dwells on setbacks and difficulties.

Bottom line: expect success and you can achieve it!
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"Watch your manner of speech if you wish to develop a peaceful state of mind. Start each day by affirming peaceful, contented and happy attitudes and your days will tend to be pleasant and successful."

Norman Vincent Peale
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The positive side With every ending comes also a new beginning. With every disappointment comes a new opportunity for success. With every mistake comes a new and valuable lesson to be learned. With every setback comes a new position from which to move forward.

With every frustration comes the energy to move to a higher level of achievement. With every challenge comes a new strategy for taking action.

With every time of darkness comes the chance to make a real difference by shining your own special light. With every sadness comes a deeper appreciation for the joys that life can hold.

With every difficulty comes a new level of strength to be gained. With every loss comes an increased determination to win.

Though life has many pitfalls and problems, there is a positive side to every one of them. Choose to see and live that positive reality, and no problem will be a problem for long.

Ralph Marston
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"Don't join an easy crowd; you won't grow. Go where the expectations and the demands to perform are high."

Jim Rohn

Of all of these wondrous, challenging things with which we live, I hope you regard it a blessing to be alive in this great age of the world. . . . I hope you walk with gratitude in your hearts, really. Grateful people are respectful people. Grateful people are courteous people. Grateful people are kindly people. Be grateful.

Gordon B. Hinckley
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Lessons for Life - Gratitude

"Both abundance and lack exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend... when we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that's present -- love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature and personal pursuits that bring us pleasure -- the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience Heaven on earth." - Sarah Ban Breathnach

As I write this article, I’m filled with gratitude. Five years ago I was in a job I hated. Today, writing newsletter articles and sharing my experiences of self-care with you is part of my job - what a joy!

And though some days I can still get caught up in what I DON’T have yet, what I HAVEN’T done yet and what I’ll probably NEVER have or NEVER do, all it takes is a few moments of reflection about what I have to be grateful for and my thoughts are completely turned around.

Two experiences over recents month have helped me to get into the right frame of mind.

During eight weeks of the winter I’m blessed with a volunteer opportunity at a program that provides dinner and shelter to those in need. While I started out three years ago as a dinner helper, I soon realized that my music could be a real gift to our guests and volunteers – infusing the atmosphere and creating opportunities for camaraderie, nostalgia, relaxation and joy. Not to mention lots and lots of singing.

Now my “job,” for eight Wednesday nights every winter, is to set up my guitar and songbook (complete with a list of songs that guests can thumb through to make requests) and fill the room with music. I absolutely love it.

I’ve noticed that many of our guests are often cheerful, friendly and helpful, and deeply appreciative of what they receive. With all they’re struggling within their daily lives – struggles I can only imagine - they manage to celebrate the moment, show kindness to others and express their gratitude.

The other mind-altering event was of course the devastating earthquake and resulting tsunami of December 26, 2004, that destroyed so many lives and has impacted the entire world.

The gifts of gratitude I receive from my awareness of both of these realities so different from my own are many. Whenever I’m outdoors in the Canadian winter weather and I notice myself thinking that it’s too cold or too wet I immediately express my gratitude that for me the experience is only brief and temporary. In light of all I’ve seen and heard about in the last few weeks, what do I have to complain about?

Tonight, when you’re getting ready to sleep, why not stop for a moment and make a list of everything YOU have to be grateful for. Here's a few to get you started.

I’m grateful to have a roof over my head. I'm grateful for my health. I’m grateful to have money in my wallet. I’m grateful to have food in my fridge. What would life be like without even one of those things? What else can you think of to be grateful for?

Use your list as a reminder when you get caught up in the "I DON’T have yet, what I HAVEN’T done yet and what I’ll probably NEVER have or NEVER do" mind set.

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All rights reserved.
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Let there be more joy and laughter in your living.

Eileen Caddy
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EACH DAY IS A GIFT

by Author Unknown

The 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud lady, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with her hair fashionably coifed and makeup perfectly applied, even though she is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today.

Her husband of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary.

After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, she smiled sweetly when told her room was ready.

As she maneuvered her walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of her tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on her window. "I love it," she stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.

"Mrs. Jones, you haven't seen the room .... just wait."

"That doesn't have anything to do with it," she replied. "Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged, it's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it. It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do. Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away, just for this time in my life."

She went on to explain, "Old age is like a bank account, you withdraw from what you've put in. So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank. I am still depositing."

And with a smile, she said: "Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred.

2. Free your mind from worries.

3. Live simply.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less."
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In the case of good books, the point is not how many of them you can get through, but rather how many can get through to you.

Mortimer J. Adler