"What this power is I cannot say; all I know is that it exists and it becomes available only when a man is in that state of mind in which he knows exactly what he wants and is fully determined not to quit until he finds it."

Alexander Graham Bell
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WHY ACCEPTING CHANGE IS VITAL TO YOUR PROFESSIONAL SUCCESS

by Connie Podesta

Like it or not, change is an integral part of today's business climate. Those employees who embrace and initiate change will thrive, while those who complain and fear change may be headed for the unemployment line.

Employers feel strongly about the need to have employees who are successful change agents for their team and their organization as a whole. What exactly is a "change agent?" An agent is someone who represents the interests of another person or organization, and his or her job is to take care of business and make sure everything goes smoothly. Thus, a change agent helps take care of an employer's business by facilitating change.

Are you a change agent for your organization? Can others count on you to make sure things go smoothly? Do you continue to take care of business in the midst of change?

Although some employees have been conditioned to fear change, we must not lose sight of the fact that change is normal, and most of us will experience unpredictable changes in both our personal and professional lives. In the workplace, changes can occur as a result of new thinking, advances in technology, innovation and progress, knowledge and communication, as well as mergers, takeovers, layoffs, and downsizing. These organizational changes can directly affect our professional lives as well as our personal lives. They may also lead to feelings of sadness, frustration, grief, and anger, especially when jobs are lost or worse, when an entire organization ceases to exist. So let's discuss how we can make this normal life experience-change-as positive and beneficial as possible.

What's Wrong with Change?

Employers want commitment to change when it's necessary. Knowing that, then, why are so many people resistant to it? The number one reason is fear, although very few people are willing to admit it. None of us want to acknowledge that we doubt our ability to integrate new ideas, use new technology, or adapt to new organizations. We don't even want to think about what's ahead: new management, new ways of doing things, new terminology, new titles, and new job description. Fear can have several components:

1. Fear of the unknown: What will happen to my organization, my job, my life, as I know it now? How secure is my future?

2. Fear of not being in control: What should I do? Should I just wait around while they make decisions that could seriously affect my life?

3. Fear of being inadequate: I know how to do this job now, but will I be able to do it as well as they expect me to when everything has changed? And if I can't, what happens then?

4. Fear of moving outside your personal comfort zone: I've been doing my job this way for years, and I'm very good at it. Why do we have to change what has worked so well for so long?

No matter which category your fear falls in, one thing is for sure. The more we fight and resist the change, the more painful and frightening the changes will be. Resisting doesn't keep a new idea from taking hold; it simply makes the process longer and more painful. Change will happen no matter what. We will handle it better when we learn to move with the change-not against it. Plus, this is definitely not the time to drag your feet because managers are not inclined to take employees by the hand and lead them through the change process.

Communication is Key:

There is no doubt that employees often view change from a different perspective than their supervisors. Many employees believe that management doesn't understand their side of the story, and managers often feel it is the employees who don't understand why the change is necessary. This is why communication is so vital during any change circumstance. It's been said that lack of communication is the number one reason why personal relationships can develop problems, and the same holds true for relationships between employers and employees. Change will require open communication on both sides. Unfortunately, fear has the power to freeze employees in their tracks and prevent them from expressing their ideas and opinions.

When faced with change we must always ask ourselves this important question: Does my resistance to change have anything to do with my own fears? That's a tough question and one that's not easy to answer honestly. It's natural to fear the unknown and lack of control. We know that we won't be quite as proficient at our tasks while we're in the process of learning to do things a new way. We know we will have to work a lot harder. Are we willing to let go of the present to embrace the future? We may not know what the future will bring, but we are responsible for what we bring to the future.

The Positive Side of Change

If you routinely describe your current job as boring, mundane, or menial, then perhaps a change is good for you. One of the most positive aspects of change is that it is never boring. On the contrary, it can create passion. And passion-and the excitement, creativity, and energy that accompany it-is the spark that keeps us going.

Passion could be called the charge for our life's batteries. Without that charge, it's hard to get our engines revved up. That igniting charge is sparked by the challenge of change-learning new things, meeting new people, growing as professionals, and taking risks that push us to reach our potential. None of that can happen unless and until we are willing to experience the fear that inevitably arises when we move out of our comfort zones. No risk, no fear; no fear, no passion; no passion, no fun.

If we want passion back in our lives, we must be willing to meet the challenge of change. What might that mean for you? Perhaps it might involve going back to school, learning how to work with a computer, working with a team, taking on new responsibilities, or redefining a career path. If you want to remain employable, you may have to change more than just your attitude and your reaction to change. You may have to change some of your ideas and goals to create a better future for yourself.

Embrace Upcoming Changes:

Many people are content to live their lives by playing it safe. If fear, pain, and hard work are prerequisites of change, it's easier to understand why some people are so dedicated to resisting it. They might be good at giving all the best-sounding reasons why this particular change is not right for the department, the organization, the team, or the customer. However, their underlying concern may be their fear about how the change will affect them-their job-their lives.

If you've been reacting negatively to change, it's important to modify your attitude and your behavior before it's too late. Think about what you really want. Comfort at all costs? The status quo? The good old days? If those are the aspects you desire-if that's what you're waiting for-then you will probably soon be out of a job. If, instead, you want challenge and welcome change, you will always be employable.
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"You will become as small as your controlling desire, or as great as your dominant aspiration." James Allen
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"If You Have Unresolved Family Conflicts, Lay Them To Rest"

When it comes to family, we all tend to carry unpleasant memories with us throughout our lives. If this goes unchanged we can become bitter and resentful.

If you have deep family issues that are hard to forgive and forget, make today the day you move forward. Put them behind you and try to be more positive about the time you have now. You can not change the bad things that have happened to you, but you can choose to stop letting them control you.

Life is too short to carry grudges that separate you from those people that you want near and dear to the heart.

~author unknown~
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"Emphasize everything and you emphasize nothing."

Herschell Gordon Lewis

"Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up interest wrinkles the soul." Douglas MacArthur
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ANCHOR YOUR RELATIONSHIPS by Chris Widener

I heard a speaker recently who was talking about how to maintain strong relationships. As I listened to his basic principle, I realized that it is true in all of our life situations, be it work, family etc. And let's face it, relationships are what make the world go 'round. So strong healthy relationships will make your work more enjoyable, and prosperous, and will make your family and friend relationships better as well.

What was the principle? The speaker said that each point of connection is like an anchor in the relationship, and the more connections you have, the stronger the relationship will be. He calls one-connection relationships "Simplex," and multi-connection relationships, "Multiplex." The strongest relationships are multiplex.

There is also the idea that some connections are stronger than others and so you want as many connections as possible and you want those connections to be as strong as they can be as well. Confused? Let's put some legs on this. We'll take a business situation and we'll take a family situation to illustrate the principle.

Anchoring work relationships. Let's say you sell insurance. A guy walks in and says, "I would like to purchase some term life insurance." You have a simplex relationship. The connection is that you both want him to have insurance. As you get to know him better and get information from him, you realize that you have a multiplex relationship growing and the chance that your business relationship will grow is improving.

"You grew up in Iowa? Me too!" "You like to golf? Me too!" "Your wife and you like to go to the opera? So do we! We should go together sometime."

The multiple connections are anchoring your relationship.

Anchoring a family relationship. Let's take a marriage in trouble. Chances are that at one time, the relationship was multiplex. Because of time, work, and other stresses, the marriage has deteriorated to the point where both are thinking, "What did I marry this person for?" Or "Why do I stay?" The chances are that now the relationship is simplex. Maybe it is that the one connection is that they want to do right by the kids and so they "Tough it out." What is the answer? I believe that it is regaining a multiplex relationship. Work hard to make those other anchoring connections. Did you used to play tennis together before the kids came along? Go play tennis together on a regular basis. Do you both have a common interest in a specific cause or charity, but time hasn't allowed you to pursue it? Take the time! It will anchor your relationship again!

I think you get the point.

Take some time to think about your current relationships. Are they as multiplex as they can be or as they used to be? Think about the new relationships you will make in the coming weeks or months. Think of ways you can make them strong by finding multiple connections, securing deeper and more fulfilling relationships.

Make your relationships "multiplex" and you make them strong, with an anchor that will not let them go!
******************************************** "I am neither especially clever nor especially gifted. I am only very, very curious." Albert Einstein
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Make use

The very best way to be thankful for the good things you have is to make use of them. The essence of each blessing is the positive possibility it holds.

The best way to be thankful for the love in your life is to live and express that love in each moment. Give your time, your thoughts, your presence and your feelings to the people you love, for those are the gifts that will truly be treasured.

The best way to be thankful for your life is to make something of it. Every day you have the opportunity to live with meaning and with purpose.

Every day you have the opportunity to make positive, beneficial use of the goodness that fills your world. The more of that goodness you appreciate and utilize, the more that goodness will grow.

The way to sincerely give thanks is to give your energy to the positive possibilities. For you have the power to bring those possibilities to life.

And to do so is, after all, the greatest form of gratitude. For it acknowledges the richest blessings, and makes them more and more.

Ralph Marston
****************************************** "The mark of a truly civilized man is confidence in the strength and security derived from the inquiring mind." Felix Frankfurter

I've learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances.

Martha Washington
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HOW TO SQUEEZE THE MOST OUT OF YOUR TIME

by Brian Tracy

How do you start your day? Years ago I started planning mine by writing everything down I would have to do, the night before. I found that drawing up your list the night before prompts your subconscious to work on your plans and goals while you sleep. When you wake up, you feel ready to tackle your challenges.

When prioritizing and planning your time, consider the following points:

Key questions

What is the highest value-added action I can do? What can I, and only I, do that I've done well before to make a difference? Why am I on the payroll?

The answers to these questions help identify all that needs to be done and in what order. That, in turn, will bolster personal productivity.

Values

Decide what's important to you, and in what order. Make sure your values don't conflict with work. Energy spent worrying diminishes your abilities.

Consequences

Every action has consequences - good and bad. Consider what rewards you'd reap by completing a task. Then, compare those rewards with the consequences of putting it aside. This process makes it easier to see which goals have a higher value.

The Pareto Principle

Vilfredo Pareto, a 19th-century engineer, argued that 20% of what you do accounts for 80% of the value. When considering the importance of a task, ask yourself whether it's among the 20% that creates the most value.

Urgency vs. Importance

An unexpected phone call or a drop-in visitor may be urgent, but the consequences of dealing with either may not be important in the long run.

The urgent is other-oriented; it's caused by someone else. Important things are self-directed and have the greatest value for you.

The Limiting Step

Standing between you and what you want to achieve is the limiting step. That's the bottleneck that determines how quickly you can reach your goal. It's important to identify that step and focus single-mindedly on getting that one thing done.

A Written Plan

Lists of goals, tasks and objectives are of no help unless they're written. Putting your plans on paper makes a seemingly elusive goal more concrete. There's a connection that takes place between the brain and the hand. When you don't write it down, it's fuzzy, but as you write it and revise it, it becomes clear.

Visualization

See yourself doing what you need to get done. Visualization trains the subconscious to focus on completing tasks. Say, for example, that you want to begin each morning by exercising. Visualizing yourself doing sit-ups and push-ups the night before conditions the mind to do those the next day. When you prime you mind, it wakes you up even before the alarm clock goes off.

Remember you are a winner and preparation goes a long way in helping you achieve all your goals.
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Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.

Louisa May Alcott
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"Anything that you should have done, but didn't, ties you to your past"

Is your mental and emotional clutter getting in the way of a fulfilling life? It's time to clean out the "need-to's," "have-to's," and "ought-to's," from your past. When you have regrets it's tough to move forward and grow.

Put the past in the past. Return anything you borrowed. Make apologies where needed. Get your bills up to date. Send the card or gift that you forgot to send. Make the phone call you need to make.

Taking care of these things cleans your mental slate and eliminates any regrets or resentments you may harbor.

Now, take a deep breath; look ahead. Both your conscience, and your future vision, is clear.
-Meditations For Women-
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Vocabulary enables us to interpret and to express. If you have a limited vocabulary, you will also have a limited vision and a limited future.

Jim Rohn

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.

Eleanor Roosevelt
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A SENSE OF URGENCY IS TREMENDOUS

by Charlie "Tremendous" Jones

Perhaps my findings are not the only solution, but with all my heart I believe the fires of greatness in our heart can be kept aglow only after we develop a sense of urgency and importance for what we are doing. I mean a sense of urgency to the extent that we feel it is a matter of life and death; and it is a matter of life and death, for in growing we are alive and in quitting we are dying in a sense. If you don't believe this, talk to anyone who has lost the sense of urgency of getting things done and has been drifting in complacency, mediocrity and failure. If you are without a sense of urgency in your work, you know what I mean.

A sense of urgency is that feeling that lets you know yesterday is gone forever, tomorrow never comes. TODAY is in your hands. It lets you know that shirking today's task will add to wasted yesterdays and postponing today's work will add to tomorrow's burden. The sense of urgency causes you to accomplish what today sets before you. Thank God for the sense of urgency that can change a dull, shabby existence into a sparkling life. Right now, ask God to give you a sense of urgency. Believe that He did, and then act accordingly.

Tremendously,

Charles "T" Jones
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Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact. Henry James
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"Practice in The Silence"

In his 1918 work, "The Power of Concentration" (re-published by Mike Litman, <http://www.powerofconcentration.net/>), the author, Theron Dumont wrote, "It is necessary to be silent before you can speak wisely." True enough, as stated. But then he goes on to write something that we've mentioned in several past issues, though I believe he says it much better and more powerfully than I have.

According to Dumont, "The person who is really alert and well poised and able to speak wisely under trying circumstance, is the person who has practiced in the silence."

I see two different interpretations - or levels - regarding what Mr. Dumont wrote:

#1 The silence itself must be practiced. In other words, how difficult is it for most people (myself included) to remain silent after hearing someone say something with which you disagree. Don't you just want to spring back with an answer? Well, what happens when you do that? There are several possible results, amongst which are:

A. You didn't understand exactly what the other person was really saying but, instead, allowed your personal belief system/paradigm/world model to interpret it for you, thus you responded to something the other person didn't actually mean.

B. You answer without first forming a clear idea as to what you want to say and how you can best say it so, even your answer lacks the meaning you would have given it had you taken a moment to think it out.

C. You cause the other person to resent you for jumping down his/her throat the very nanosecond they finished their sentence.

None of these options makes for effective and persuasive communication. For this alone, it seems as though it would be a great idea for all of us to practice (getting into) the silence. In other words, practice holding our tongues until we've first allowed silence to buffer the response.

The second interpretation I see of Mr. Dumont's statement however is, I believe, the more meaningful. In "practicing in the silence" he is teaching us to be comfortable in the silence and even allowing the silence to be our guide. There is actually wisdom within the silence.

He writes, "Speech interferes with the focusing powers of the mind, as it withdraws the attention to the external and therefore is hardly to be compared with that deep silence of the subconscious mind, where deep thoughts, and the silent forces of high potency are evolved.

So, as an exercise for this week, perhaps we can all keep within our awareness the goal to practice being silent before speaking, to practice not only being silent, but to practice *in* the silence.

Bob BurgBob Burg is author of"Winning Without Intimidation: How to Master the Art of PositivePersuasion"
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Willpower is the key to success. Successful people strive no matter what they feel by applying their will to over-come apathy, doubt or fear.

Dan Millman

"Don't wait for an employer, friend, or mentor to show appreciation for your work. Take pride in your own efforts on a daily basis."

Denis Waitley
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People in our Lives

by Catherine Pulsifer

I sat reflecting on the past year when my friend Charley came into the room. Charley took one look at my face and she could tell I was off in another world. Charley immediately snapped me out of my thoughts by saying, "you have that look on your face!". I immediately laughed and said, "Oh Charley, I was just reflecting on the past year".

Charley has always had the ability of drawing everything out of me. She can read my face and she knows when I am deep in thought; she knows when I am upset; she knows when I am happy. She sat down and said, "Tell me what your were thinking".

"Well Charley", I replied, "I was listening to a song on the radio that asked what have you done over the last year. I was thinking about the last year. When I reflect on the year, I have had such good fortune, with a few bumps along the way. Charley, at the beginning of the year my life was in such turmoil, challenges with my work, challenges financially, major decisions that I had to make and now here we are at the end of the year and so much has happened".

Charley immediately focused my thoughts and asked, "Tell me about the three things that impacted you the most during this year"?

I sat thinking if I had to pick only three things that impacted me what would they be? After a few minutes, I looked Charley straight in the eye and said, "Okay here are the three things that impacted me the most: 1. My family. I realized they are the most important part of my life. Throughout the year I had many challenges, but my family were always there offering support and encouragement. My husband. He understands and supports me even when I perhaps don't deserve such support. I have great children who make me proud. My parents, my sister and brothers are always there for me no matter what is happening in my life. 2. My friends. Over the years I have shared my dreams and my goals with my friends. Some goals I have realized and other goals I have not. But friends like you Charley always supported and encouraged me. It really has made a difference. As you know, I am going to make some major changes in my life in the coming year realizing a goal that is about 5 years behind but is finally coming to realization. A goal that will take me many miles away from my dear friends like you Charley but you still supported and encouraged me. 3. My colleagues. I have worked with some amazing people over the last year. People of whom I had a different perception. But, once I worked with them I realized how wrong my perception was. Sometimes, we past judgment on people and we really don't realize what they are all about. This year, I had many of my perceptions change. I have been very, very fortunate to have the opportunity to work with some excellent people over the last year.

Also Charley, the people who I have met through my website. People like M. K; Claire; Jackie; Josh; and others who have contributed to my website. They have truly had an impact on my life. They have shared their talents and contributed to my site not expecting anything in return only to help make a positive contribution to other peoples lives."

Charley smiled and said, "Do you realize that everything you have said has one thing in common"?

"What are you saying, Charley?" I asked.

She replied, "The one common denominator is people. The material things in your life, nor your actual job have had the most meaning in your life. It is the people in your life that have had the biggest impact. People have made the biggest difference in your life!"

I smiled. Leave it to Charley to see this and point it out to me. Material things are not important, and while our jobs provide the means, the important things in life are the people who touched our lives.
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"Fifteen to thirty minutes of training a day will make any employee a world class expert in five years."

Jeffrey Gitomer
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Dare To Dance Outside the Lines

Today is the day to give yourself permission to break the rules, to move outside the boundaries of your usual way of looking at things. For the time being, forget about practical, realistic ideas. Dare to go beyond the self-censorship that comes from worrying about what other people think.

When you follow your heart and dismiss unimportant "shoulds," you open the door to creative, spiritual and personal breakthroughs. Try it....today!

-Meditations for Women-
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"The difference between failure and success is doing a thing nearly right and doing a thing exactly right."

Edward Simmons

If you have knowledge, let others light their candles in it.

Margaret Fuller
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If and When Were Planted

By Catherine Pulsifer

How is "if and when" planted? The short stories below are examples of planting "if and when":

Karen, one of my coworkers was stressed about where she was living. She hated the apartment she was in and complained every day about it. One day over coffee, I asked her why she didn't look for another apartment - it seemed like an easy solution to me. Karen's reply to this was, "I will look for another apartment when I come back from vacation."

Sam hated his job. He dreaded getting up in the morning. He hated the work he was doing and it started to take a toll on him. He had a love for photography and was currently taking a two-year course to obtain his certificate. Every night he complained about his work. After listening to his complaints for a month, I asked him why he didn't finish his course and start a small business doing photography on the weekends. His reply, "if only I had more time to finish my course. When I finish my course I will start a business."

Sarah had saved all her life and now was retired and living comfortably. The house she bought had a dishwasher in it; however, the dishwasher was old and didn't work. She hated doing dishes, and every time we visited with her she complained about doing the dishes. One night, I asked her, "Why don't you buy a new dishwasher Sarah." Her reply, "I have been thinking about it, if they would only come on sale I would."

Larry worked for a company that allowed early retirement. Larry had both the years of service and his age, which allowed him to retire, but at a reduced pension. He was having difficulty coping with all the changes that were being made in his work. He had a couple of mild attacks, not a heart attack but similar to one. He called me and we talked for hours. I was worried about the stress of his job and the effects it was having on his health. "Why don't you retire Harry? Do something that you have always wanted to do," I asked. Harry's reply to my question was, "If only I was older then I would get my full pension." I got bolder in my conversation with him, "But Harry, you have your house paid off, you have no bills, the kids are grown up. You could sell your house and downsize, it really is not worth your health is it? Harry then said, "When the summer comes maybe I will."

All of these stories have the same theme running through them. There is a proverb that says it all: "If and when were planted, and nothing grew."

Now a year later, Karen is still living in the apartment she hates! Sam is still complaining about his job and still has not finished his course! Sarah is still washing dishes! Larry is still working and his health is not what it used to be!

The sad part of all of these stories is that all of these people had a lot of stress in their lives that they could have taken action to reduce. But, all of them defeated themselves by thinking "if" or "when". Life is too short for "if's and when's".

The next time you are in a stressful situation and you find yourself saying or thinking - "if or when" - remember the saying, "If and when were planted and nothing grew!" Change your thinking and take action, so that you can reduce your stress right now.

Quotes on procrastination:

"To be always intending to make a new and better life but never to find time to set about it is as...to put off eating and drinking and sleeping from one day to the next until you're dead." Og Mandino

"The two rules of procrastination: 1) Do it today. 2) Tomorrow will be today tomorrow." Author Unknown

"Someday is not a day of the week." Author Unknown

"Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week." Spanish Proverb
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"There is nothing like a dream to create the future."

Victor Hugo
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Patience and understanding Here's something to keep in mind as you go through this hectic day. The person who benefits most from your patience is you. Yes, you'll come across many people who are rude, annoying and self-centered. But does it really serve any positive purpose for you to sink to their depths of negativity?

Instead, take the opportunity to rise to a higher level of peacefulness and understanding. Take the opportunity to practice and strengthen your patience.

Patience and understanding will take you to places where anger, frustration, confusion and anxiety can never reach. Patience and understanding put you in a position of real power and effectiveness.

Practice patience, and you will build real strength. Live with patience and understanding, and a whole new world of valuable opportunities will open up to you.

There's nothing to be gained by reacting to rudeness and anxiety with more rudeness and anxiety of your own making. Respond instead with patience and understanding, and you'll make your world a much better place.

Ralph Marston
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"Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent."

Victor Hugo

Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one...
Eleanor Roosevelt
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THE POWER OF THREE LITTLE WORDS

Some of the most significant messages people deliver to one another often come in just three words. When spoken or conveyed, those statements have the power to forge new friendships, deepen old ones and restore relationships that have cooled.

The following three word phrases can enrich every relationship:

I'LL BE THERE - Being there for another person is the greatest gift we can give. When we are truly present for other people, important things happen to them and to us. We are renewed in love and friendship. We are restored emotionally and spiritually. 'Being there' is at the very, very core of civility.

I MISS YOU - Perhaps more marriages could be salvaged and strengthened if couples simply and sincerely said to each other, "I miss you." This powerful affirmation tells partners they are wanted, needed, desired and loved.

I RESPECT YOU - Respect is another way of showing love. Respect conveys the feeling that another person is a true equal. It is a powerful way to affirm the importance of a relationship.

MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT - This phrase is highly effective in diffusing an argument and restoring frayed emotions. The flip side of "maybe you're right" is the humility of admitting "maybe I'm wrong."

PLEASE FORGIVE ME - Many broken relationships could be restored and healed if people would admit their mistakes and ask for forgiveness. All of us are vulnerable to faults, foibles and failures. A man should never be ashamed to own up to he has been in the wrong, which is by saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.

I THANK YOU - Gratitude is an exquisite form of courtesy. People who enjoy the companionship of good, close friends are those who don't take daily courtesies for granted. They are quick to thank their friends for their many expressions of kindness. On the other hand, people whose circle of friends is severely constricted often do not have the attitude of gratitude.

COUNT ON ME - "A friend is one who walks in when others walk out." "Loyalty is an essential ingredient for true friendship; it is the emotional glue that bonds people. Those who are rich in their relationships tend to be steady and true friends. When troubles come, a good friend is there, indicating "you can count on me."

LET ME HELP - The best of friends see a need and try to fill it. When they spot a hurt they do what they can to heal it. Without being asked, they pitch in and help.

I UNDERSTAND YOU - People become closer and enjoy each other more if they feel the other person accepts and understands them. Letting others know in so many little ways that you understand him or her is one of the most powerful tools for healing your relationship.

GO FOR IT - Some of your friends may be non-conformists, have unique projects and unusual hobbies. Support them in pursuing their interests. Rather than urging your loved ones to conform, encourage their uniqueness - everyone has dreams that no one else has.

I suppose the 3 little words that you were expecting to see have to be reserved for those who are special; that is I LOVE YOU.

Author Unknown
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"The main thing in one's own private world is to try to laugh as much as you cry."

Maya Angelou
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FOLLOW YOUR BLISS

by Steve Goodier

Author Joseph Campbell often talked about "following your bliss." I heard of a bus driver in Chicago who does just that. He sings while he drives. That's right... sings! And I don't mean he sings softly to himself, either. He sings so that the whole bus can hear! All day long he drives and sings.

He was once interviewed on Chicago television. He said that he is not actually a bus driver. "I'm a professional singer," he asserted. "I only drive the bus to get a captive audience every single day.

His "bliss" is not driving a bus, though that may be a source of enjoyment for some people. His bliss is singing. And the supervisors at the Chicago Transit Authority are perfectly happy about the whole arrangement. You see, people line up to ride his bus. They even let other busses pass by so they can ride with the "singing bus driver." They love it!

Here is a man who believes he knows why he was put here on earth. For him, it is to make people happy. And the more he sings, the more people he makes happy! He has found a way to align his purpose in living with his occupation. By following his bliss, he is actually living the kind of life he believes he was meant to live.

Not everybody can identify a purpose in life. But when you do, and when you pursue it, you will be living the kind of life you feel you were meant to live. And what's more, you will be happy
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"Every great mistake has a halfway moment, a split second when it can be recalled and perhaps remedied."

Pearl S. Buck

"Life is so hard...unless you allow it to be easy… it will be whatever you expect it to be..."

Doug Firebaugh
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ACHIEVING SUCCESS BY EXPECTING SUCCESS

by Zig Ziglar

When you plan and prepare carefully, you can legitimately expect to have success in your efforts. When you recognize and develop the winning qualities that you were born with, the winner you were born to be emerges. When you plan and prepare to make a sale, for example, you can legitimately expect to make a sale. Although not all your expectations are going to come to pass, you give yourself an infinitely better chance of succeeding by taking the proper steps. Regardless of your goal--losing weight, making more sales, furthering your education, earning a promotion, saving money for a new home or an exotic vacation--you can expect to achieve your goal if you plan and prepare for it.

Also understand that the path from where you are to where you want to be is not always smooth and straight. The reason for the twists and bumps is simple, and it has nothing to do with you. It has more to do with the fact that not everyone is as interested in your success as you are. Some people may accidentally hinder your efforts; others who are in competition with you and have little or no integrity may try to sabotage your efforts.

Keep in mind, though, that when you hit those roadblocks your character, commitment, and attitude are the determining factors in your success... Carefully review your plan of action, seek wise counsel, and be particularly careful to feed your mind good information. An optimistic, positive mind is far more likely to come up with creative solutions than a mind that dwells on setbacks and difficulties.

Bottom line: expect success and you can achieve it!
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"Watch your manner of speech if you wish to develop a peaceful state of mind. Start each day by affirming peaceful, contented and happy attitudes and your days will tend to be pleasant and successful."

Norman Vincent Peale
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The positive side With every ending comes also a new beginning. With every disappointment comes a new opportunity for success. With every mistake comes a new and valuable lesson to be learned. With every setback comes a new position from which to move forward.

With every frustration comes the energy to move to a higher level of achievement. With every challenge comes a new strategy for taking action.

With every time of darkness comes the chance to make a real difference by shining your own special light. With every sadness comes a deeper appreciation for the joys that life can hold.

With every difficulty comes a new level of strength to be gained. With every loss comes an increased determination to win.

Though life has many pitfalls and problems, there is a positive side to every one of them. Choose to see and live that positive reality, and no problem will be a problem for long.

Ralph Marston
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"Don't join an easy crowd; you won't grow. Go where the expectations and the demands to perform are high."

Jim Rohn

Of all of these wondrous, challenging things with which we live, I hope you regard it a blessing to be alive in this great age of the world. . . . I hope you walk with gratitude in your hearts, really. Grateful people are respectful people. Grateful people are courteous people. Grateful people are kindly people. Be grateful.

Gordon B. Hinckley
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Lessons for Life - Gratitude

"Both abundance and lack exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend... when we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that's present -- love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature and personal pursuits that bring us pleasure -- the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience Heaven on earth." - Sarah Ban Breathnach

As I write this article, I’m filled with gratitude. Five years ago I was in a job I hated. Today, writing newsletter articles and sharing my experiences of self-care with you is part of my job - what a joy!

And though some days I can still get caught up in what I DON’T have yet, what I HAVEN’T done yet and what I’ll probably NEVER have or NEVER do, all it takes is a few moments of reflection about what I have to be grateful for and my thoughts are completely turned around.

Two experiences over recents month have helped me to get into the right frame of mind.

During eight weeks of the winter I’m blessed with a volunteer opportunity at a program that provides dinner and shelter to those in need. While I started out three years ago as a dinner helper, I soon realized that my music could be a real gift to our guests and volunteers – infusing the atmosphere and creating opportunities for camaraderie, nostalgia, relaxation and joy. Not to mention lots and lots of singing.

Now my “job,” for eight Wednesday nights every winter, is to set up my guitar and songbook (complete with a list of songs that guests can thumb through to make requests) and fill the room with music. I absolutely love it.

I’ve noticed that many of our guests are often cheerful, friendly and helpful, and deeply appreciative of what they receive. With all they’re struggling within their daily lives – struggles I can only imagine - they manage to celebrate the moment, show kindness to others and express their gratitude.

The other mind-altering event was of course the devastating earthquake and resulting tsunami of December 26, 2004, that destroyed so many lives and has impacted the entire world.

The gifts of gratitude I receive from my awareness of both of these realities so different from my own are many. Whenever I’m outdoors in the Canadian winter weather and I notice myself thinking that it’s too cold or too wet I immediately express my gratitude that for me the experience is only brief and temporary. In light of all I’ve seen and heard about in the last few weeks, what do I have to complain about?

Tonight, when you’re getting ready to sleep, why not stop for a moment and make a list of everything YOU have to be grateful for. Here's a few to get you started.

I’m grateful to have a roof over my head. I'm grateful for my health. I’m grateful to have money in my wallet. I’m grateful to have food in my fridge. What would life be like without even one of those things? What else can you think of to be grateful for?

Use your list as a reminder when you get caught up in the "I DON’T have yet, what I HAVEN’T done yet and what I’ll probably NEVER have or NEVER do" mind set.

© Copyright Genuine Coaching Services.

All rights reserved.
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Let there be more joy and laughter in your living.

Eileen Caddy
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EACH DAY IS A GIFT

by Author Unknown

The 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud lady, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with her hair fashionably coifed and makeup perfectly applied, even though she is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today.

Her husband of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary.

After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, she smiled sweetly when told her room was ready.

As she maneuvered her walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of her tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on her window. "I love it," she stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.

"Mrs. Jones, you haven't seen the room .... just wait."

"That doesn't have anything to do with it," she replied. "Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged, it's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it. It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do. Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away, just for this time in my life."

She went on to explain, "Old age is like a bank account, you withdraw from what you've put in. So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank. I am still depositing."

And with a smile, she said: "Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred.

2. Free your mind from worries.

3. Live simply.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less."
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In the case of good books, the point is not how many of them you can get through, but rather how many can get through to you.

Mortimer J. Adler

"It's lack of faith that makes people afraid of meeting challenges, and I believe in myself."

Muhammad Ali
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THE MAJOR KEY TO YOUR BETTER FUTURE IS YOU

by Jim Rohn

Of all the things that can have an effect on your future, I believe personal growth is the greatest. We can talk about sales growth, profit growth, asset growth, but all of this probably will not happen without personal growth. It's really the open door to it all. In fact I'd like to have you memorize a most important phrase. Here it is, "The major key to your better future is YOU."

Let me repeat that. "The major key to your better future is YOU." Put that someplace you can see it everyday, in the bathroom, in the kitchen, at the office, anywhere where you can see it everyday. The major key to your better future is YOU. Try to remember that every day you live and think about it. The major key is YOU.

Now, there are many things that will help your better future. If you belong to a strong, dynamic, progressive company, that would help. If the company has good products, good services that you are proud of, that would certainly help. If there were good sales aids, that would help, good training would certainly help. If there is strong leadership that will certainly help. All of these things will help, and of course, if it doesn't storm, that will help. If your car doesn't break down, that will help. If the kids don't get sick, that will help. If the neighbors stay half way civil, that will help. If your relatives don't bug you, that will help. If it isn't too cold, if it isn't too hot, all those things will help your better future. And if prices don't go much higher and if taxes don't get much heavier, that will help. And if the economy stays stable, those things will all help. We could go on and on with the list; but remember this, the list of things that I've just covered and many more - all put together - play a minor role in your better future.

The major key to your better future is you. Lock your mind onto that. This is a super important point to remember. The major key is you. A friend of mine has always answered when asked, "How do you develop an above average income?" He says, "Simple. Become an above average person. Work on you." My friend says, "Develop an above average handshake." He says, "A lot of people want to be successful, and they don't even work on their handshake. As easy as that would be to start, they let it slide. They don't understand." My friend says, "Develop an above average smile. Develop an above average excitement. Develop an above average dedication. Develop an above average interest in other people." He says, "To have more, become more." Remember; work harder on yourself than you do on your job. For a long time in my life, I didn't have this figured out.

Strangely enough, with two different people in the same company one may earn an extra $100 a month, and the other may earn a $1,000. What could possibly be the difference? If the products were the same, if the training was the same, if they both had the same literature, the same tools. If they both had the same teacher, the same compensation plan, if they both attended the same meetings, why would one person earn the $100 per month and the other person earn the $1000? Remember here is the difference... the difference is personal; inside, not outside, inside.

You see the real difference is inside you. In fact, the difference IS you. Someone once said, "The magic is not in the products. The magic is not in the literature. The magic is not in the film. There isn't a magic meeting, but the magic that makes things better is inside you, and personal growth makes this magic work for you.

The magic is in believing. The magic is in daring. The magic is in trying. The real magic is in persevering. The magic is in accepting. It's in working. The magic is in thinking. There is magic in a handshake. There is magic in a smile. There is magic in excitement and determination. There is real magic in compassion and caring and sharing. There is unusual magic in strong feeling and you see, all that comes from inside, not outside. So, the difference is inside you. The real difference is you. You are the major key to your better future.

To Your Success,

Jim Rohn
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"A little faith will bring your soul to heaven; a great faith will bring heaven to your soul."

Charles Spurgeon
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Wholeness

Do something positive and valuable in one area of your life, and every other part of your life will benefit from it. The joy you create and experience in one setting will go with you into other situations.

By the same token, any negativity in one part of your life will exert unfavorable influence on other parts of your life. Everything that is a part of you is a part of all of you.

When you work to improve your skill at one task, it brings added confidence to all other tasks that you undertake. When you nurture a true sense of peace in your home life, your life at work becomes more calm and peaceful as well.

No single part of you can be separated from the wholeness of who you are. Each thought, each action, each feeling is connected to all others.

Your health, your career, your family, your faith, your learning, your interests and enjoyments are all intertwined with each other. And as such, you always have countless specific opportunities to nurture and lift up the whole of your life.

Give your very best to each and every aspect of your life. An abiding sense of excellence and integrity will add much to the whole of your world.

Ralph Marston
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"You don't have to see the whole staircase; just that the first step."

Martin Luther King, JR

(p.s. i thought i would post twice today because i have been such a slacker!! please tell your friends to come read these wonderful wise words from others, remember i only share what others have shared with me!!)

sheri

History had demonstrated that the most notable winners usually encountered heart-breaking obstacles before they triumphed. They won because they refused to become discouraged by their defeats.

B.C. Forbes
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"Questions as Leverage"

By Pamela Dunn

Do you ever feel like your conversation has turned into a wrestling match? When both parties are struggling to be heard and understood, both trying to meet their own agenda for the conversation, a discussion can fall apart in no time at all. So, today I offer you two simple rules of communication:

1. When you *push*, most people back away.

2. When you *invite*, most people step forward.

Now, what do these mean for you and your life? We all want to be heard and understood, and yet, sometimes we need an invitation to speak further. You might be surprised by what you can learn or do with a simple question. Many of my clients are learning to use questions as a way to encourage people to come forward, open up, share information and relate better. Here are a few examples to show you what I mean.

Tom brought an issue to his boss, looking to collaborate on a solution, but his boss simply looked back across the table and asked, "How are you going to fix it?" Instead of shrinking under his confrontational tone, Tom asked, "What would you do if you were in my shoes?" By simply inviting him to contribute, the entire discussion took on a better tone - and ended in a better solution.

When her business partner wanted to know her sales figures for the past month, Stella started to feel nervous. So instead of reacting, she - phrasing it with sincere concern and not defensiveness - asked for more information. "Why are you asking?" The real concern wasn't her performance; it was their new competitor. By inviting a larger perspective, they could address the real issue.

Jim and Gina have been looking at this push/invite dynamic in their marriage. When he comes home late, Gina is usually agitated and irritable. "What takes you so long to get home?" He used to back away emotionally when she did this, and things would be chilly between them for a couple hours. But last time, instead of defending himself, he asked, "Out of curiosity, why do you ask?" When he decided to skip the wrestling, they could relate again. She explained that she just missed him and wanted to spend more time together. There really wasn't anything to fight about.

Most people answer questions quickly and reflexively. But if you want to sidestep the wrestling and get on the same team, you have to slow down and really listen to people. And it helps to be curious. Can you hold your tongue long enough to wonder, "why do you ask?"

Something to reflect on: As you go through the week, make a conscious effort to ask more questions - even when you think you know the answer. Invite people to offer a little more information. "What makes you say that?", "What do you mean?", "Why do you like this job?", "What do you think?"

You might start seeing people differently when you get into their heads and explore their positions, motivations, and concerns. And when they see you expressing an interest, they just might tell you something new.
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The marvelous richness of human experience would lose something of rewarding joy if there were no limitations to overcome. The hilltop hour would not be half so wonderful if there were no dark valleys to traverse.

Helen Keller
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Just For Today
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;the courage to change the things I can, andthe wisdom to know the difference.
I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once; I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.
I will be happy. This assumes that what Abraham Lincoln said is true, that "Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."
I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my luck as it comes, and fit myself to it.
I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.
I will exercise my soul in three ways:
I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out. If anybody knows of it, it will not count.
I will do at least two things I don't want to do - just for exercise.
I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.
I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk low, act courteously, criticize not one bit, not find fault with anything and not try to improve or regulate anybody except myself.
I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.
I will have a quiet half hour all by myself, and relax. During this half hour, I will try to get a better perspective of my life.
I will be unafraid, especially when enjoying the beauty of nature.
I will believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.
~author unknown~
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I expect to pass through this life but once. Therefore, if there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do for another human being, let me do it now, for I shall not pass this way again.

William Penn

"Time is the wisest counsellor."

Pericles
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"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home.

The remarkable thing is that we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude...

I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes."

Charles Swindoll
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"As we advance in life we learn the limits of our abilities."

James A. Froude
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FORMULA FOR SUCCESS by Vic Johnson

"He conceives of, mentally builds up, an ideal condition of life; the vision of a wider liberty and a larger scope take possession of him; unrest urges him to action, and he utilizes all his spare time and means, small thought they are, to the development of his latent powers and resources."

- As A Man Thinketh

Read carefully these 52 words and you will find the keys to success in any endeavor.

Allen is describing a young person who is unschooled, mired in poverty and working in unhealthy conditions. He goes on to write that the young person follows the formula above and becomes a person of "world-wide influence and almost unequaled power." He finishes the story noting that "He has realized the Vision of his youth. He has become one with his Ideal."

It's a formula for success that's so simple that most people might overlook or discount its effectiveness. And it's built around one guiding principle - what Napoleon Hill called "a definiteness of purpose." That's what creates the unrest that moves us to action. That's what gives us the energy and drive to spend our spare time and means in developing ourselves to achieve at levels we've never reached before.

One prominent study found that 94% of the 3,000 people interviewed had no definite purpose for their lives. Is it any wonder then that so many people reach their twilight years feeling like life has passed them by? ife doesn't make the distinction, it simply rewards our choice. And the rewards may not always be what we had hoped, as this old poem from "Think and Grow Rich" illustrates:

"I bargained with Life for a penny And Life would pay no more, However I begged at evening When I counted my scanty store.

For Life is a just employer, He gives you what you ask, But once you have set the wages, Why, you must bear the task.

I worked for a menial's hire, Only to learn, dismayed, That any wage I had asked of Life, Life would have willingly paid."

And that's worth thinking about.

Vic Johnson
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"It is a mistake to suppose that men succeed through success; they much oftener succeed through failures. Precept, study, advice, and example could never have taught them so well as failure has done."

Samuel Smiles

It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.

Ralph Waldo Emerson
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LOVE, WEALTH, OR SUCCESS?

A woman came out of her house and saw 3 old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard. She did not recognize them. She said "I don't think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat." "Is the man of the house home?", they asked. "No", she said. "He's out." "Then we cannot come in", they replied.

In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened. "Go tell them I am home and invite them in!" The woman went out and invited the men in. "We do not go into a House together," they replied. "Why is that?" she wanted to know. One of the old men explained: "His name is Wealth," he said pointing to one of his friends, and said pointing to another one, "He is Success, and I am Love." Then he added, "Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home."

The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her husband was overjoyed. "How nice!!", he said. "Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!" His wife disagreed. "My dear, why don't we invite Success?" Their daughter-in-law was listening from the other corner of the house. She jumped in with her own suggestion: "Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!" "Let us agree to our daughter-in-law's advice," said the husband to his wife. "Go out and invite Love to be our guest."

The woman went out and asked the 3 old men, "Which one of you is Love Please come in and be our guest." Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other 2 also got up and followed him. Surprised, the lady asked Wealth and Success: "I only invited Love, Why are you coming in?" The old men replied together: "If you had invited Wealth or Success. The other two of us would've stayed out, but since you invited Love. Wherever He goes, we go with him.

Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success!!!!!!"

~author unknown~
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The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches, but to reveal to him his own.

Benjamin Disraeli
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Dreams are more Your life's dreams are more than just places to go, people to know, things to acquire, and experiences to have. Your dreams express who you are. Behind every dream is a purpose. That purpose is, and always has been, yours.

And so, in a very real sense, every sincere dream you have is already yours. And you are already in the process of living it through.

The tokens and outer appearances of that dream may not yet be completely manifested. Yet within you, that dream is fully alive and real.

The more time, commitment and energy you give to that dream living on the inside, the more solid and apparent it will become on the outside. There is no need to wait for your dreams to be fulfilled, for you can begin this moment to fully live and express the essence of those dreams.

Your life's dreams are valuable not so much for what they get you, but rather for how they express your own unique purpose. Live that purpose in every moment, and you'll know that dreams really do come true.

Ralph Marston
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Remember your yesterdays, dream your tomorrows, live your todays.

Unknown

Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.
Martin Luther King
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The Beaver And His Goals

By Byron and Catherine Pulsifer

It started last fall when we had a beaver move in the small stream beside our house. He immediately began taking down small trees, and within a couple of weeks our small stream turned into a small pond. Everyday he added more to his damn and to his house.

We're sure you've all heard the saying, "busy as a beaver", but we never really appreciated it until we saw the work that this beaver did over a very short period of time.

With the stream now damned and his house built, we thought that would be the last of the beaver's busy activity as winter set in. But, to our amazement, he started chewing on a very large maple tree. And, we mean large. The tree is over 60 feet tall and is approximately five feet in diameter at the base. We were amazed at the challenge this beaver was attempting. Over the winter, he would come out and chew a bit more. He had setbacks as we faced major winter storms and freezing weather. We thought that he will never chew through this tree. But sure enough, when the weather allowed, he kept coming back and would chew a bit more.

With spring finally arriving, we went down to see the beaver's progress and sure enough the tree is going to come down soon!! Our beaver has now almost completely chewed around and through the entire tree.

The beaver's original goal was survival - to build a home for the winter. Working every day with that particular focus in mind, he achieved that goal. But the large maple tree he started chewing on last fall was a future goal - he wanted the large tree for the spring, to provide new food and branches to continue damning in anticipation of the spring thaw. And, even with the setbacks he faced over the winter, he never gave up.

Our point in sharing our beaver experience with you is to remind you that sometimes we have a goal to just survive, but we also need to set goals for tomorrow. And sometimes, just surviving seems to occupy all of our time - working everyday, looking after our family, going to school, and so forth. But, if you do just a little bit when times allows, and keep focused on your future goal, you will achieve it.

It is also vitally important that when faced with setbacks in achieving a goal, you need to stay focused and not let the setbacks discourage you.

We know what it means to face setbacks along the way because we were once just like the beaver. We worked it seemed just for our survival, but we also had a future goal and we constantly kept moving forward to achieve that goal. Sometimes, though, weeks would pass before we could work on our goal again, and many times we had to deal with some sort of setback. While at times we felt we would never reach our goal, we never gave up and we never lost our focus. But, over more than 5 years, we did achieve our goal.
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If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
Author Unknown
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Today
I'm reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting in the yard and admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I'm spending more time with my family and friends and less time at work.
Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experiences to savor, not to endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them.
I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for every special event such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, or the first Amaryllis blossom. I wear my good blazer to the market. My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries.
I'm not saving my good perfume for special parties, but wearing it for clerks in the hardware store and tellers at the bank.
"Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now.
I'm not sure what my father would've done had he known that he wouldn't be here for the tomorrow that we all take for granted. I think he would have called family members and a few close friends.
He might have called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences for past squabbles. I like to think he would have gone out for a Chinese dinner, or for whatever his favorite food was.
I'm guessing; I'll never know. It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew my hours were limited. Angry because I hadn't written certain letters that I intended to write one of these days.
Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my wife/husband, children and parents often enough how much I truly love them.
I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that would add laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special. Every day, every minute, every breath truly is a gift from God.
~author unknown~
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Faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to.
George Seaton

A little faith will bring your soul to Heaven, but a lot of faith will bring Heaven to your soul.
Dwight Lyman Moody
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PUT SOME FIRE IN YOUR DESIRE
by Chris Widener

One of the keys to success is staying motivated because it is being motivated that keeps us going out the door every day to change the world and reach our destiny! It is our desire for a better life, for change in us and others, and for personal growth and fulfillment that moves our mountains! Desire!

Desire sure is a word with much more richness to it than the word "want" though they are essentially the same. "Want," though, sounds like you could take it or leave it. "Desire" says, "I have to have it!" Desire, is "want" with a fire under it!

Unfortunately, we tend to ebb and flow from want to desire, even with the same goal! One day we may be passionate about building our business or growing our relationships and then, the next day, we find ourselves simply in the "want" camp again. The key to keeping on is to re-light the fire under want so it roars into a raging fire of desire! Then, and only then, will we see the passion needed to be tenacious pursuers of our dreams! Keeping the fire lit is what will see you through the mountains and valleys of life and the journey you are on to your success!

So what do we do? We light the fire! Here are a few thoughts to help you build the fire of your desire!

The wood: Keep a clear mental picture of the goal. This is imperative. The picture of the goal is like the wood in a fire. It is the raw material. Know what your goal is and what it looks like.

The fuel: Keep a list, if simply just a mental one, of all of the benefits of pursuing and reaching your goal. Make them as "sense" oriented as possible. "See" the benefits. "Hear" them. "Touch" them. This is like the fuel that we add to a fire to get it going. Now all we need is a match.

The match: Keep yourself active! This is the match: Action! Even when you don't feel like it, get yourself to act and soon you will see the fire burning because you have again ignited the dream! The more desire you have the more the fire burns.

Eventually the fire will begin to die out. Here is where you throw the wood on again, pour on some fuel, and if need be, strike another match. I would encourage you to not let the fire go out though, because it is easier to continually throw wood and fuel on an already burning fire than it is to start one up again!
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Faith is putting all your eggs in God's basket, then counting your blessings before they hatch.
Ramona C. Carroll
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Fuel for positive action

The way to deal with the negative energy of worry is to transform it into fuel for positive action. Instead of being obsessed with what might happen, put your focus on what you are doing.

When worry is the only outlet for your concerns, those concerns will grow more and more troubling. Not only does worry fail to address those concerns, it drains time and resources that could otherwise be put to productive use.

Focused, purposeful, effective action, on the other hand, points all your energy in a positive direction. And it soon creates a favorable momentum.

Because of that momentum, little annoyances and distractions that otherwise would have brought you down are transformed into compelling reasons to push forward. When you are focused on action, even the setbacks give you fuel for yet more action.

When you sense a worry on the horizon of your thoughts, stop and consider this. What positive, productive thing can you do, right here and now, that will drain the power from that worry before it ever gets to you?

Get in the habit of seeing that every concern, every possible situation, provides fuel for positive action. Use that fuel to move yourself forward, and no longer will worry be an issue.

Ralph Marston
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Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.
Hebrews 11:1

"When someone does something well, applaud! You will make two people happy."

Samuel Goldwyn
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5 Cool Ideas on How Not To Be

Michael Angelo Caruso

1. Remember that no one can hurt you. In my booklet, "Hmmm....Little Ideas With BIG Results," I write that it's important to adopt a mantra of "you can't hurt me" when dealing with people. No one can hurt you because you are not vulnerable or weak. In fact, you are perfect and getting better every day.

2. Victims subconsciously seek out people who intimidate them. Contrast the attitude of feeling "perfect and getting better every day" with an attitude of feeling like a victim. Victims get up every day and look for someone to victimize them. This type of activity validates their negative self-concept and becomes a wicked, self-fulfilling prophecy.

3. An aggressive handshake may be a form of intimidation. When someone presents himself to you with an overbearing manner and aggressive handshake, you might interpret these signals as a form of intimidation. In these cases, it's important to recognize what's happening and counter with your own set of signals.

4. Expose intimidators by using predictive dialogue. One effective technique for exposing an aggressive person is to immediately acknowledge the powerful handshake. You might say something like, "Wow! That really hurt!" The tenants of predictive dialogue tell us that the other person is likely to psychologically take a step backward and maybe even apologize for hurting you.

5. You can't change people. Above all, remember that you cannot make an intimidating person less intimidating. You can, however, make it more challenging for them to be intimidating when they are with you.
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"One man has enthusiasm for 30 minutes, another for 30 days, but it is the man who has it for 30 years who makes a success of his life."

Edward B. Butler
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Sally jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating room. She said: "How is my little boy? Is he going to be all right? When can I see him?"

The surgeon said, "I'm sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn't make it."

Sally said, "Why do little children get cancer? Doesn't God care any more? Where were you, God, when my son needed you?"

The surgeon asked, "Would you like some time alone with your son? One of the nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he's transported to the university."

Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good-bye to son. She ran her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair.

"Would you like a lock of his hair?" the nurse asked.

Sally nodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy's hair, put it in a plastic bag and handed it to Sally. The mother said, "It was Jimmy's idea to donate his body to the University for Study. He said it might help somebody else. "I said no at first, but Jimmy said, 'Mom, I won't be using it after I die. Maybe it will help some other little boy spend one more day with his Mom." She went on, "My Jimmy had a heart of gold. Always thinking of someone else. Always wanting to help others if he could."

Sally walked out of Children's mercy Hospital for the last time, after spending most of the last six months there. She put the bag with Jimmy's belongings on the seat beside her in the car. The drive home was difficult. It was even harder to enter the empty house. She carried Jimmy's belongings, and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair to her son's room. She started placing the model cars and other personal things back in his room exactly where he had always kept them. She laid down across his bed and, hugging his pillow, cried herself to sleep.

It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Laying beside her on the bed was a folded letter. The letter said:

"Dear Mom, I know you're going to miss me; but don't think that I will ever forget you, or stop loving you, just 'cause I'm not around to say I LOVE YOU. I will always love you, Mom, even more with each day. Someday we will see each other again. Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy so you won't be so lonely, that's okay with me. He can have my room and old stuff to play with. But, if you decide to get a girl instead, she probably wouldn't like the same things us boys do. You'll have to buy her dolls and stuff girls like, you know. Don't be sad thinking about me. This really is a neat place. Grandma and Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and showed me around some, but it will take a long time to see everything. The angels are so cool. I love to watch them fly. And, you know what? Jesus doesn't look like any of his pictures. Yet, when I saw Him, I knew it was Him. Jesus himself took me to see GOD! And guess what, Mom? I got to sit on God's knee and talk to Him, like I was somebody important. That's when I told Him that I wanted to write you a letter, to tell you good-bye and everything. But I already knew that wasn't allowed. Well, you know what Mom? God handed me some paper and His own personal pen to write you this letter. I think Gabriel is the name of the angel who is going to drop this letter off to you. God said for me to give you the answer to one of the questions you asked Him 'Where was He when I needed him?' "God said He was in the same place with me, as when His son Jesus was on the cross. He was right there, as He always is with all His children.

Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else can see what I've written except you. To everyone else this is just a blank piece of paper. Isn't that cool? I have to give God His pen back now. He needs it to write some more names in the Book of Life. Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesus for supper. I'm, sure the food will be great.

Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I don't hurt anymore. The cancer is all gone. I'm glad because I couldn't stand that pain anymore and God couldn't stand to see me hurt so much, either. That's when He sent The Angel of Mercy to come get me. The Angel said I was a Special Delivery! How about that?

Signed with Love from God, Jesus & Me.

~author unknown~
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People living deeply have no fear of death.

Anais Nin

"Entrepreneurship is the art of finding profitable solutions to problems."

Brian Tracy
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REAPING A MULTIPLE REWARD

by Jim Rohn

For every disciplined effort, there are multiple rewards. That's one of life's great arrangements. In fact, it's an extension of the Biblical law that says that if you sow well, you will reap well.

Here's a unique part of the Law of Sowing and Reaping. Not only does it suggest that we'll all reap what we've sown, it also suggests that we'll reap much more. Life is full of laws that both govern and explain behaviors, but this may well be the major law we need to understand: for every disciplined effort, there are multiple rewards.

What a concept! If you render unique service, your reward will be multiplied. If you're fair and honest and patient with others, your reward will be multiplied. If you give more than you expect to receive, your reward is more than you expect. But remember: the key word here, as you might well imagine, is discipline.

Everything of value requires care, attention, and discipline. Our thoughts require discipline. We must consistently determine our inner boundaries and our codes of conduct, or our thoughts will be confused. And if our thoughts are confused, we will become hopelessly lost in the maze of life. Confused thoughts produce confused results.

Remember the law: "For every disciplined effort, there are multiple rewards." Learn the discipline of writing a card or a letter to a friend. Learn the discipline of paying your bills on time, arriving to appointments on time, or using your time more effectively. Learn the discipline of paying attention, or paying your taxes or paying yourself. Learn the discipline of having regular meetings with your associates, or your spouse, or your child, or your parent. Learn the discipline of learning all you can learn, of teaching all you can teach, of reading all you can read.

For each discipline, multiple rewards. For each book, new knowledge. For each success, new ambition. For each challenge, new understanding. For each failure, new determination. Life is like that. Even the bad experiences of life provide their own special contribution. But a word of caution here for those who neglect the need for care and attention to life's disciplines: everything has its price. Everything affects everything else. Neglect discipline, and there will be a price to pay. All things of value can be taken for granted with the passing of time.

That's what we call the Law of Familiarity. Without the discipline of paying constant, daily attention, we take things for granted. Be serious. Life's not a practice session.

If you're often inclined to toss your clothes onto the chair rather than hanging them in the closet, be careful. It could suggest a lack of discipline. And remember, a lack of discipline in the small areas of life can cost you heavily in the more important areas of life. You cannot clean up your company until you learn the discipline of cleaning your own garage. You cannot be impatient with your children and be patient with your distributors or your employees. You cannot inspire others to sell more when that goal is inconsistent with your own conduct. You cannot admonish others to read good books when you don't have a library card.

Think about your life at this moment. What areas need attention right now? Perhaps you've had a disagreement with someone you love or someone who loves you, and your anger won't allow you to speak to that person. Wouldn't this be an ideal time to examine your need for a new discipline? Perhaps you're on the brink of giving up, or starting over, or starting out. And the only missing ingredient to your incredible success story in the future is a new and self-imposed discipline that will make you try harder and work more intensely than you ever thought you could.

The most valuable form of discipline is the one that you impose upon yourself. Don't wait for things to deteriorate so drastically that someone else must impose discipline in your life. Wouldn't that be tragic? How could you possibly explain the fact that someone else thought more of you than you thought of yourself? That they forced you to get up early and get out into the marketplace when you would have been content to let success go to someone else who cared more about themselves.

Your life, my life, the life of each one of us is going to serve as either a warning or an example. A warning of the consequences of neglect, self-pity, lack of direction and ambition... or an example of talent put to use, of discipline self-imposed, and of objectives clearly perceived and intensely pursued.

To Your Success,

Jim Rohn
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"When everyone is looking for gold, it's a good time to be in the pick and shovel business."

Mark Twain
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Grow into the challenges

When a new challenge arises, you might think that you need to first acquire some new skill or knowledge or resource in order to deal with that challenge. Yet in every case, you can begin with something you already have, and then steadily grow into the challenge. Along the way you will most certainly acquire new skills, develop new knowledge, gain access to new resources. That is a big part of the value of challenge.

Yet the best starting point is where you are. The sooner you begin, the sooner you will grow strong enough to move successfully through whatever challenge you face.

There is a path that leads directly to the most positive outcome you can imagine. And the first step on that path is right in front of you.

No matter how imposing the challenge, no matter how ambitious the goal, you have what is necessary to take the first step. And once you're on your way, you'll find and develop what you need to continue.

Move confidently forward in the direction you know you must go. Start with what you have, and you'll grow into whatever you need.

Ralph Marston
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"Kids ought to have two bicycles, one to ride and one to rent."

Jim Rohn

"Love the moment and the energy of the moment will spread beyond all boundaries."

Corita Kent
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A rolled-up ball of yarn does not take up much space--it sits, ready to be used when needed. It gets unrolled a little bit at a time--just as much as is needed and no more. But a ball of yarn that gets unraveled can be strewn across an entire room. It becomes a jumbled mass, entangled and confusing. When we live our lives a day at a time, we are like that rolled-up ball of yarn. Our thoughts, feelings, and skills are ready to be used as they are needed. But when we worry, our spirit becomes a jumbled mass of yarn. We get ahead of and behind ourselves--our thoughts are scattered and often our feelings are confused. Worry adds clutter and confusion to life. What is most helpful is to put the worry away--to roll up the ball of yarn and bring ourselves into the present moment. In this way, we stand ready for each new stitch--and we will never be given more than we are able to handle.
Hazelden Foundation
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"Your mental energy is limited by your physical energy. How do you develop more energy of all kinds? You start by putting your body in top physical condition. Unless you do that, all your other activities won't help much--you'll be stuck with the mental and emotional energy that you have now."

Tom Hopkins
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There is widespread and persistent goodness in this world. There is so much in fact that we take it for granted all too often. Certainly there are dangers and challenges to be considered on a daily basis. We cannot ignore them. We must stay ever vigilant and mindful of their presence. And yet for the most part, life is awash with positive possibilities, many of which are manifest day after day after glorious day.

The bad things make the news precisely because they are so out of the ordinary. The good things are so thoroughly ingrained in our lives that we sometimes barely notice them.

Yet that goodness persists, even in the face of extreme challenges. The more you appreciate all the good things in your life, the more strength you'll have to overcome even the most difficult of those challenges.

Don't just count your blessings. Live your blessings today, tomorrow, in every moment and in every situation. Honor and respect the very real, the very powerful goodness in your life and in your world by making the best of everything that comes your way.

Ralph Marston
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"Success… My nomination for the single most important ingredient is energy will directed." Louis Lundborg

"Anybody can become angry - that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way -- that is not within everybody's power and is not easy."

Aristotle
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Pretty Please

(With Sugar on Top)

My daughter Kelsey isn't quite four yet. She is a wonderful girl and I love her dearly. She is, however, sometimes, a little bossy. With a demanding tone she will declare what will happen next. With emphasis she will tell me what to do. These aren't behaviors her mother and I want to become habits. Not only that, but they just don't sit very well with me!

Thankfully, others have told us that when she is with them, she is very polite and well mannered. This is a relief, but doesn't reduce our angst about her behavior. Last week, as a way to positively reinforce the behaviors we are looking for, I tried something new.

Word of the Week

Last week, I declared that "Please" was the "Word of the Week." My intent was to remind all of us in the house of the importance of using the word please. I vowed in the presence of Parker (age 9) and Kelsey that I would be reminding them of the word, that they would be praised for using it, and that I was going to work on using it more as well.

I was proud of my idea, and the approach did raise awareness somewhat, but can you guess what the "Word of the Week" is this week? (Yep, it is still please!) So we are making progress, but we aren't there yet. All of us can improve-the 39 year old and 3 year alike.

An Early Lesson

Saying "please" and "thank you" are two of the first phrases we teach children. We do this because they are important phrases that represent basic values. I recently wrote an essay about "thank you," and now I find myself focusing on "please." Perhaps I'm a slow learner if I'm still trying to learn these "childhood lessons."

I can remember when Parker was little, taking him to visit his great grandparents the first time after he could talk. One of the last things I told him before we went inside was, "Remember to say please." In some odd way, Parker saying "please" was supposed to prove I was doing my job as a parent. Perhaps you haven't felt that feeling, but I am sure you have seen praise lavished on little ones when they've said "please." "Please" is definitely an early lesson engrained in all of us.

The Importance of Asking

"Ask and it shall be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; he who knocks, the door will be opened." - Matthew 7:7-8

You have to ask in order to receive. Without asking, you cannot get. This profound truth can be stated in a variety of ways, but the different words don't change the message. Being willing to ask is important to our development, our comfort, and to reaching our goals, both large and small.

When we are teaching children about saying "please" it is in the context of asking. We don't just say please, we add the word to some sort of request. We tell them that saying please is the nice thing to do. We are really trying to teach them that it is more polite, more socially acceptable to say "please" than to simply demand that their wish is granted.

Adding the Sugar

Asking with a "please" makes any request a bit easier to receive, it is like putting a little sugar with the request. Maybe that is why when we are little, and we REALLY want something we embellish "please" to something like the title of this essay. We learn that the "verbal sugar" of "please" can help us, just like Mary Poppins taught us about taking medicine-"A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, in the most delightful way."

So we are teaching children that "please" is not only the nice thing to do, but also that it will probably help us get what we ask for. (Have you ever withheld something from a child until they said the magic word of please?)

More than a Word

Yes, I am trying to teach my children to use the word, but beyond the vocabulary lesson, I want them to learn the attitude of graciousness. It goes beyond being polite. It goes beyond being pragmatic. Saying "please" is both of those things, and important for both reasons. But beyond that, when we say "please" in a spirit of gratefulness and with the willingness to offer help in return, then we are not only being polite and pragmatic, but authentic, genuine, and communicating with another person at a "heart level", rather than "head level."

Final Thoughts

The practice and attitude of saying "please" is a powerful one. That is why we teach it so early. I urge you to think about your habits and attitudes around this important phrase. Ask yourself the following questions. How consistently do I use "please?" How often do I type it in an email or letter? How consistently do I include "please" in requests to those closest to me?

Will you take the time to think about these things today, please?

Yours in Learning,

Kevin Eikenberry
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"Dreams are simply the emotions of the heart that have been painted into words..."

Doug Firebaugh
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Enjoy Being You

Rather than chasing after what you don't have, use your energy to more fully express what you do have. Instead of striving to be someone you are not, instead of conforming yourself to the world's idea of success, create and live your own definition of success.

Be who you are.

That's where your most valuable treasure is.

Set free that beautiful, worthy person inside of you. Free yourself from worrying about what others might think, or say, or do. Instead, focus on being the best, most authentic manifestation of you that you can possibly be.

You are complete and whole right now. There is no need to prove anything to anyone. There is no need to wait for happiness or fulfillment. They are yours when you decide to live them. This is your moment in which to live with all the richness you can imagine.

Enjoy being you, right now. There is so much you have to contribute, just by living the one-of-a-kind life that is your destiny. It's more than OK to be you. It's the very best and most genuinely fulfilling thing you can do. Enjoy giving your own special gifts to life, and lift yourself up along with the world around you.

Author Unknown
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"You are 100% emotional in everything you think, feel and decide. You decide emotionally and justify logically."

Brian Tracy